Bruce Le Black Spot

Hei Se Zou Lang
aka Black Spot

(1991/Hong Kong)

Kin Lung Huang, better known as Bruce Le, gets to step away from the countless Bruce Lee impersonator kung fu flicks and turn his attention to a serious portion of big budgetary Action. Here he plays Wong Lung, a former problem solver for an international organisation responsible for the manufacture and trafficking of drugs worldwide. He is a former criminal with a moral conscience, but once you are embroiled in the organisation they never let you go. The head of the trans national cartel wants Wong Lung to take out one of their Asian bosses and is not prepared to take no for an answer. Now settled in Paris France, and leading a comfortable lifestyle untroubled by anyone, word is leaked to the police and Wong Lung is picked up by them. They too offer him a deal, work with them to infiltrate the organisation and earn his freedom as a world citizen, with all past illegal activities stricken from his record. Lung has little choice but to take the deal but the passage back to Hong Kong has to be earned, and the organisation set him a mighty task in order to prove his worth and loyalty to them. He must fight a seven foot monster of a man in a barbed wire steel cage, last man standing walks free !.

One of the highlights of the movie is the fight scene in the cage match. A brutal and barbaric environment in a den of iniquity where the cage is the centre piece, surrounded by a ravenous crowd baying for the blood of the warring occupants fighting for their very lives. The king of the ring is an Asian ox of a man, with the mind of a simpleton but the strength of a bull. Able to pummel expert fighters to death with his relentless hammer like arms, and never shy to rip chunks of flesh from their battered bodies with his very teeth. He rips open a living sheep thrown to him as sustenance between bouts, tearing the creature apart and feeding off its entrails, and drinking of its gushing blood. Hung enters the ring like the mindless behemoths next lamb to the slaughter, but this is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Years of martial arts training, guile and cunning have served Hung well, and prepared him for even the most seemingly insurmountable. This is a classic Eighties styled bloody mismatch of grand proportions. Rules simply do not apply and in order to walk free Hung immediately has to resort to evasive manoeuvres, close quarter quick body attacks and eye gouging !. Blood splays the fevered crowd as Hung ferociously chops the man elk down to a twitching stump, leaving him a bloody pulp relieved of his unbeaten crown.

The organisation are satisfied that in Hung they still have the best man for the job in hand. He is given a briefcase of money for expenses and a ticket to Taiwan. His assignment to kill boss Tai Chin, and re-establish secure trade links across the infamous Golden Triangle to ensure that the organisations Opium trade continues to thrive.

Bruce Le clearly is afforded a great deal of influence in the production of this international extravaganza. The countries involved must have delighted in getting recognition on a global scale as no obvious regional embargo’s towards the film makers seems at all evident. The grand scale of the army resources providing a vast cast of real soldiers, replete with full uniforms and weaponry, along with the full military might of heavy machinery such as tanks and helicopters is staggering to behold up on the screen.

As Director and likely aware of his star stature Bruce Le even affords a degree of thought provoking ethic, in a strong message for the audience to ponder upon long after the movie finishes. He shows both sides of the drug trade, not just the addictive evil that envelopes the planet but startlingly the naivety of those involved in its early stages of productivity. Midway through the movie Wong Lung gets to witness how an entire village of hard labouring poor farmers grow the crop for the production of the opium. They truly believe they are cultivating a medicine that helps the outside world, and what they work for in exchange for food and bare essentials to live on is their duty. Their innocence tears at Lung’s ideals and causes him to contemplate on what will happen to these people when their community is destroyed. The principal of cause and effect here is powerfully touched upon.

Along with several showcase fight sequences, that display Bruce Le as a very fine martial artist in his own right, the grand scale sets are also an impressive part of the whole. The mass production facility for the heroin / opium is purified and packaged in a massive natural cave. It is very well lit to highlight its structure and the base level is bedecked with big machinery, productivity vats and electrical machinery, all just waiting to explode upon the arrival of the armed forces come the big finale.

Sure enough the ending plays out on a tumultuous Action high as Bruce Le takes down the Asian cartel, whilst outside two armies collide in spectacular fashion. The stunt coordinators earn triple time with the shear volume of explosions and bodies flying about. With the Thai army providing the real deal on the heavy artillery this really is a barn storming end event highlight. Throw in international agents of the female babes with guns variety, and Black Spot proves to be a destination for die hard Action seekers the world over.

Even when Bruce Le runs out of bullets he just fires up his fists and shoots from the hip with lethal kicks to opponents. The cataclysmic finale delivers a damning indictment on all fighting both for and against the production of drugs. A message for the masses and a real body punch conclusion to a grand scale Action epic.
Review by Paul Cooke / Source NTSC US VHS
NB: Original Language English Subtitled and

Semi Wide Screen, Likely Taken From An

Original Source Aprox 1:85:1 Ratio

Black Spot (1991)
Director Bruce Le
With Bruce Le, Rossieo Badin, Yu-Man Cheng,

Tao Chiang, Elizabeth Gordon, James Ha,

Fanny Hill & Lo Lieh

Room At The Asylum For Monster Brawl

Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus
(2009/USA)

''He's an equal opportunities eating machine''

From the deepest depths comes the greatest threat as two of the oceans prehistoric titans are unwittingly released from their frozen incarceration. Free to wreak havoc on the modern world where fish are now just an entrée to man made morsels. It’s deep see monster mayhem as only the low budget production house The Asylum can muster as their catch of the day.

When a secret government operative illegally deposit’s a low frequency active sonar (LFAS) device , from his helicopter into the ocean off the Alaskan coast, the result sets in action a very disruptive chain of events. Directly below the surface of the water marine oceanographer Emma MacNeil (Deborah Gibson) is studying the migration pattern of a number of whales. When the LFAS is operative it triggers a highly disruptive vibratory sound wave that unsettles the sea mammals. MacNeil and her mini sub co-pilot have to skilfully navigate a path to safety through the panicked whales. During the scramble she half glimpses something that she dismisses as unfathomable in the adrenalin pumping moment. What she later comes to realise is that what she caught site of in the murky depths is the re-emergence of creatures from millions of years past, seen only in the pages of today’s historical text books.

The sonic boom from the LFAS creates a fissure within the solid ice, causing a chain reaction of splintering. Within the structure of the cacophonous casing lay two perfectly preserved examples of prehistoric deep sea behemoths. Suspended in frozen animation, now set free and reawakened by the life giving natural ocean. Behold Mega Shark and Giant Octopus !.

Emancipated from their icy tomb the naturally warring creatures, programmed by nature to feast on whatever is placed before them, find their way to two of Sci Fi cinema’s most recognised battle grounds for gigantic beasts. Giant Octopus’ favoured stomping ground is of course Japan, and soon Tokyo bay is terrorised by eight grappling tentacles, enough to keep the sushi bars in business for the foreseeable future. Mega Shark hit’s the shipping lanes on route to America, choosing San Francisco bay as his tourist attraction, and somewhere to stop over for a bite to eat. First on the menu for this mighty shark, with more teeth than the Bee Gees combined and a razor blade smirk that observers don’t stop to admire, nor hang around long enough to become tooth picks !.

Silly highlights of this dumb, but highly entertaining giant monster movie, include the juggernaut like massive shark torpedoing itself out of the ocean upwards to take down a passenger plane !. Not to be outdone Giant Octopus embroils itself around an offshore Japanese drilling station, having no taste for the black gold but picking off enough human nuggets, well worth a few ‘squid’ !.
It’s down to one time teen pop singing starlet Deborah Gibson to team up with an old university professor, and a Japanese oceanographer expert, to piece together what is terrorising the oceans. When they uncover the insidious government experiment, and receive video confirmation of the gigantic prehistoric creatures being freed, due to the intervention of the LFAS device, they set about planning a way to stop the carnage and the giant threat to mankind.
Lorenzo Lamas enters the fray as government agent Allan Baxter, initially to detain the trio, but soon realises that without their combined expertise the planet is in severe threat of enormous magnitude. Agent Baxter is a bit of a Lorenzo ‘lame ass’ but Deborah Gibson turns in a pretty good performance for her movie debut. It’s refreshing to see that as a pretty new actress Deborah Gibson doesn’t have to get her ‘hits’ out to make the transition from pop star to film star !.
Emma MacNeil and her three cohorts get their heads together to come up with the plan to bring to a halt the tumultuous tirade of the two sea titans. The marine experts come upon the idea of primordial pheromone attraction. All creatures use them to seek out and sense each other. The idea behind this particular attraction is hoped to be of the fatal kind, as both of these prehistoric deep sea dwellers are attuned to killing one another. Bringing them together to do battle is what the movies titular headline grabber is after all what this is all about. It’s the fight of the century, Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus, in The Rumble In The Ocean !. Mega George Foreman XXXXXL grill free with each family ticket purchase.
The silliness goes overboard pretty much from the off, but what else can you expect from such an outlandishly titled movie !?. For an Asylum flick this is a more neutered affair in so far as the usual outlandish gore and more adult themes are toned down to deliver essentially a PG13 rated matinee monster movie. Doubtlessly aiming for a more broader audience, and a greater revenue return targeting the family patronage. The film is still Fun though and worthy of at least a rental before resigning to the bottom of the video ocean.

Any movie that shows a Megalodon leaping out of San Francisco bay to sink its mighty jaws into the Golden Gate Bridge, like its snacking down on a McDonald’s swim through restaurant, has to have you ‘lovin’ it’.
Review Paul Cooke / Source PAL Region 2 UK DVD

Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus (2009)
Director Jack Perez
With Lorenzo Lams, Deborah Gibson,
Vic Chao & Sean Lawlor

13 Game Of Death

13 Game Sayawng

aka 13 Beloved

(2006/Thailand)

‘‘People who play make their own choices’’

Released in its native homeland as 13 Game Sayawng, this is another example of inventive and at times extreme cinema from Thailand. Focusing on the moral dilemma’s of a simple man in an immoral society, given the choices of redemption or the riches beyond that of most attaining in a lifetime. Fate is always waiting, and when it delivers the consequences are far reaching !.
When salesman Pusit, or Chad as he is called in the English dubbed version of the movie, falls upon hard times it is difficult for him to see a way out of his growing debt. His car is taken away as he has fallen behind with payments, his warmth towards his mother in not being able to refuse her financial assistance is hitting his pay packet, and to top it all his competitive business colleagues cost him not only a good sale but inevitably his job !. Chad has hit rock bottom, but even rock bottom has multi layers beneath it as he is soon to discover.

Down on his luck and seemingly no way out of his financial dilemma Chad receives a call to his mobile. An anonymous voice tells him of an opportunity to pick himself up out of the gutter and make himself a millionaire. All he has to do is undertake thirteen tasks. The first of which is simple enough, he is told to kill a fly. Upon undertaking the request he is informed that his bank account has just received a healthy financial deposit, which if he so chooses may multiply upon the undertaking of other tasks. Bemused yet intrigued, and certainly not unhappy at receiving payment for his part in merely dealing with a pesky insect, Chad follows up his first act in eating the squashed fly as instructed. With the promise of greater monetary rewards, with continued completion of tasks, Chad is soon signed up. Once embroiled in this bizarre take on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Chad is informed that he will only get to keep what he has already received, and attain the ultimate pay off of the million dollars upon absolute completion of All thirteen tasks !. How can he possibly stop now !?.
With each new task comes a far greater extremity, ultimately leading to consequences testing Chad’s morality, all for the reward of avarice beyond his meagre standing. Of course the undertakings become more outlandish, bizarre and harmful to both Chad and those who come into contact with him. Just how far will Chad go to achieve a life for himself that will put him outside of the day to day struggles of regular life ?. Is the reward of financial security more important than that of friendship, compassion and humanity !?.

The farther Chad progresses towards the final thirteenth task the more he has to endure, but also he starts to recognise a similarity with his past within the structure of what he is being told to do. Is there actually a meaning to what he is doing, and if so what awaits him should he achieve his final goal ?.

Thai cinema in recent years has painted a cinematic canvas of the extreme in terms of horror and visceral delivery, to both intrigue and shock its audience. Here is a smart overture to the world of intrigue that embroils its viewer into the spiralling decent of a good person, tortured by temptation and yet spurred on by the belief of redemption. A very clever weave of cat and mouse where the cat may have very big and sharp teeth, but the mouse has all the cunning and guile of a fly weight able to box beyond its designation with one heck of a bloody punch !.

There are several startling tasks that Chad has to undertake and a couple that will have you wide eyed in startled awe at the sheer gravity of what unravels, not to mention the scenes of gory despatch that place this in the adult viewing category just beyond the half way viewing stage !. What starts out as a game of chance becomes one of consequence right through to the neat conclusion that delivers its lethal blow !.

The movie is likely best undertaken in its intended format, watching in original language with deployed subtitles. The English dubbed take is well managed but does have that somewhat flat feel of an older Jackie Chan movie, one that all too often brought about unintended levity from what was actually a hard hitting Action flick. There is also a very irritating mobile phone ring tone in the dubbed version, not to mention the complete change of names for all concerned, to no doubt Americanise proceedings.

Whichever version is watched ,however, 13 Beloved is definitely worth your time. The success of this Asian cult film in the making is sure to have a sequel, which will work due to the nature of the thematic elements of the movie that do not rely upon requiring the return of any previous stars, and doubtlessly we can expect an English language remake before very long at all.

It’s a riveting shocker that keeps the viewer involved throughout, certainly flawed but ultimately entertaining right to the conclusive reveal, with flaws inevitably due to budgetary restraint and cultural interpretation. Get your eyes on this prize and be rewarded as each layer is unwrapped, but do stay away from the restaurant Chad visits, as you’ll find the chef’s special hard to stomach.

Review Paul Cooke / Source Region 2 PAL DVD

13 Game Sayawng (2006)
Director Chukiat Sakveerakul
With Krissada Terrence, Achita Wuthinounsurasit
& Sarunyu Wongkrachang

A Faceful Of Spaghetti

Una Lunga Fila Di Croci
aka No Room To Die
(1969/Italy)

‘‘He sure don’t waste a shot’’

Sixties spaghetti salivation with a spittoon splattering slew of varmints for saddle sore Anthony Steffen to bring down like shooting at a tree full of squirrels.
Opening with a pantomime hiss worthy villain, using the popular moniker of Santana, and his gang of heinous honchos, killing off a band of Mexican immigrants they dispatch of from their people smuggling trade to evade the army, No Room To Die soon pony’s up a recognisable western theme of good versus evil.

Star Anthony Steffen, he of the Clint Eastwood stubble and dead eye stare down, but too often nonchalant in his screen presence, is vaunted bounty hunter Johnny Brandon aka Django, as once again implied for the success of the International box office !. He soon deals with Santana, along with his gang of ill begotten gringos, and rides into the local town to claim the bounty on their heads.

Competition soon arrives in the form of William Berger as Everett Murdock, known as The Preacher, due to his proclivity to dress in an all black garb and carry with him at all times the Bible. Chapter and verse he too effortlessly dispatches of men with a price on their heads in the time honoured manner of a bounty hunter. Implication for the International box office success here is that Berger’s character is heavily implied as the iconic character Sartana. What he definitely shares with Sartana is his skill with a fantastical weapon. He deftly dishes out justice with his uniquely styled seven barrelled, repeat firing shot gun. A very cool weapon that is well in keeping with the best of Spaghetti western lore. This bible bashing harbinger of death stays off the hard liquor and instead readily downs a glass of milk. The calcium kid though he is not as he thinks nothing of putting bad boy bones into the ground, casket casing or not !.

Johnny Brandon helps Everett Murdock out of a sticky situation when The Preacher gets outnumbered and cornered in a quarry. In payment of kind Murdock agrees to team up with Brandon to take down a feared land owner, who is corrupting a border town and using Mexican immigrants in fear of their lives to fill his own pockets for personal wealth. Brandon and Murdock have an uneasy working relationship, but together they have a far greater chance of culling evil land owner Mr. Fargo’s iniquitous set up.

Fargo exploit’s the Mexicans and is surreptitiously bleeding the town that he rules dry of resources and wealth. When Brandon and Murdock ride into town things start to change as not only do the pair of skilled gunmen pose a real threat to Fargo’s position, but they are bounty hunters in paradise as all of Fargo’s hired hands have a price on their heads !. Every time there is a stand off or shooting melee you can almost see the dollar signs click up in the eyes of our two protagonists, as they kill from the most wanted roster like shooting ducks at a fair ground.

Director Sergio Garrone, no stranger to the world of Spaghetti westerns, handles proceedings like the seasoned professional that he is. The setting is suitably plaid in its weathered countenance and pretty much all that deserve to get their comeuppance do so with acceptable regularity. There is a nice twist of events come the final stages and of course you know that there is going to be a classic Sergio Leone inspired multi stand off gun draw in there to enjoy.

As Spaghetti westerns go this one nestles in nicely amidst the middle order selection, not the greatest but definitely worth your while seeking out. There’s enough classical scenes and recognisable themes to entertain fans of the genre, along with some welcome plagiarism. Both Anthony Steffen and William Berger do the very best with what is given to them to do, and their ill at ease relationship throws up a not unexpected turn to ensure everyone watching goes home grasping their entry ticket stub, rather than resigning it to the bin in disappointment.


Review Paul Cooke / Source Region 2 PAL DVD

Una Lunga Fila Di Croci (1969)
Director Sergio Garrone
With Anthony Steffen, William Berger, Mario Brega,
Riccardo Garrone & Nicholetta Machiavelli

Super Salacious Sci-Fi From Spain

El barón contra los Demonios

(The Baron Against The Demons)

aka Star Troopers
(2006/Spain)

‘‘You dominated my flesh but my spirit is strengthened’’

Feather the nest of your favourite perch as this one’s as cuckoo as it gets, but boy is it worth throwing all the eggs out of the basket to let this bad boy loose unto the world. Stickier than a space monkeys Simian sauce, served up on a sci-fi salver, this Spanish made fantastical saga is a salacious silo quay to the episodic cliff hanger yarns of yesteryear. An unbridled rhinoceros of a low budget juggernaut, rampaging across the screen with all the voracity of a wildebeest in mating season.

It’s the end of the 21st century and planet Earth is bereft of its indigenous populace. The human race as we once knew it now exists only in scarcely populated regions as scavengers. The multitude wiped out by an infestation of Satanic Evil. A band of soldiers and scientists escaping off world to form a resistance, and aligning themselves to a benign race of Aliens. Together they watch over the Earth, waiting for signs of the true Evil to show itself in order to deploy a retaliatory strike in a last ditch attempt to reacquire the mother world.
One last bastion of humanity stands his ground upon the Earth, a fearless savant of the sword and a living legend amongst the people. He is, The Baron. Honed from the muscular physique of a Greek God, and imbued with the anatomical healing capabilities of an Achilles. Both feared and revered by the inhuman heathens that trespass upon Earths pastures, as this clandestine apostle of God delivers both death, and the seed of life !.

In Satan’s servitude is the Earths self proclaimed matriarch, Lady Pervertum. A big breasted bitch babe torn from the page of a Boris Vallejo graphic illustration. A freak of fetish feminism, bespoke of bulbous bustier and adorned of minimalist body hugging leather garment. Little is left to the imagination, as the magnificence of her well honed physique is highlighted by a tightly tapered thong, tantalisingly traversing South to North betwixt her holy grail and the divide of Sodom !. A lustful harpy caricatured from Pamela Anderson in clay-mation form, sporting Steven Tyler lips, and a highly toned Bactrian bottom to compliment her camel toe vixen verity !.

Pervertum is at the pinnacle of her proclivity, and in this dystrophic society she is charged with bringing The Baron to heal. The draining of his life giving sperm will in cross procreation bring about the birth of a master race to rule the universe.
Traversing the underground caverns, to seek out Pervertum in her lair, The Baron falls into her grasp. She seeks to have him mate with her so that she in kind can then procreate with the hideous hermaphrodite beast that is Ragnorok. The combined gene pool of seminal fluid swiftly to gestate within the womb of the beast, to bring forth the required malignant Messiah to reign in totality.

Rigidly restrained in the perilous pit of Pervertum’s pantry The Baron is tortured to the point of passing out. Forced to copulate with the writhing Pervertum, he refuses to give in to her pervasive ways. Unable to break The Baron’s spirit Pervertum eventually takes what she needs, forcefully inserting a surgical suction implement directly into The Baron’s scrotum. With her objective acquired she slinks off to further her conjugal proclivities with Ragnorok, as together, conjoined in the ways of unearthly mating, they bathe in the Baron’s seminal fluid. The visual of vivacious vixen, and horny Harryhausen inspired beastie, squirms and spits like a wiener on a barbecue grill. The bump and grind of hellish creatures is the stuff of Salvador Dali.

Left for dead in the loquacious lady’s labyrinth word of his distress reaches his brother in arms lieutenant Alexander. Surveillance studying the Earth from space, upon an alliance ship, Alexander demands that The Baron receives assistance in his solitary plight. Enter lieutenant Bowman into the fray. A lithe nymphomaniac soldier, curvier than a Betty Page poster babe who could easily open beer bottles with her perfectly pert nipples. If erotica had a sci-fi chick skin flick Bowman and Pervertum would be the hostesses, and The Baron would be their pimp daddy. This is indeed the resultant offspring of Barbarella (1968) bumping ugly with Flesh Gordon (1974) !.

Bowman breaches Pervertum’s defences and soon comes face to face with her small freaky army of masked midget men. Reminiscent of Anthony Hopkins ventriloquist dummy from the movie Magic (1978) crossed with Betty Davis’ garish character from Whatever Happened To Baby Jane (1962). These diminutive marauders are Lady Pervertum’s Larva !.
Once Bowman manages to reach The Baron, who has rejuvenated himself from his death dealt condition thanks to his ability to heal, together they set about dispatching the evil elves with all the precision of seasoned soldiers. Deftly dealing out sword searing amputation and decapitations with raucous bloody abandonment. Lady Pervertum sits astride Ragnorok and together they flee to seek out a safe solitude for the short cycle of gestation to take place. Only The Baron can stop them now, and he must do so with immediate haste !.

Director Ricardo Ribelles has conjured up one of the greatest ‘B’ movie cinematic cults ever !. Spawned from a short basic film, itself based upon his own comic book artistry and story, he first shot back in 1996 under the title Exorcio Deus Machine: La misión, he has worked tirelessly for ten whole years in getting The Baron Against The Demons to bear as a full feature film. His diligence to what is undoubtedly his proud cinematic child pays off to spectacular effect. This is no ordinary low budget ‘B’ flick, it is without question a standard bearer in pursuit of achieving the often unattainable. Surpassing most all in its tumultuous wake, with its shear scale of ingenuity and brilliance in set pieces and magnificent miniature work, Ribelles is to be applauded for his industrious pursuit in getting this jewel polished to nigh perfection, taking all the usual hurdles and restraints applied into appreciation for such an undertaking. The star of the show, The Baron, as played by Juan Carlos Romeu has stood by Ribelles it would seem as a true friend and believer also, as he played the lead character ten years ago himself, rewarded here again with the role of the gregarious hero.

Everything from the outlandish characters to the magnitude of the magnificent miniatures, and people perfect puppetry is so deliciously delivered up on the screen with a panache that is so rarely experienced from a fledgling movie maker. There is deliriously over the top dialogue delivered as if Conan The Barbarian was doing Shakespeare, wonderfully realised by the highly apt English voice over actors. With biblical overtures of the most profanely incongruous in this politically correct regime, you cannot help but want to get up and applaud this bodacious barnstormer of a movie.


Ricardo Ribelles displays great deference for the sci-fi genre with many acknowledgements to those that have been his forbearers in the field. The Star Wars (1977) overtures are evident, and most amusingly noticeable in the likeness of a young George Lucas in the persona of the character Lieutenant Alexander. Comic book artist Jack Kirby is the inspiration behind the uncanny appearance of an evil bulbous floating head that leads his evil acolytes into battle against the alliance crusaders. It is as if Kirby himself had rendered from page to film frame. Incredible stuff.


This is ‘B’ movie omnipotence born from upon high. Expect great things from Ricardo Ribelles, and if that means a big budget sequel return for The Baron then lavish him with all the pesatas he deservedly requires. El barón contra los Demonios aka The Baron Against The Demons is a midnight marquee masterwork that will surely attain cult status imminently. Catch it wherever and whenever it is playing to be a party to The Baron slicing and dicing with blood siphoning serenity. Bear witness to bulbous eyes popping prior to heads exploding, and cranial lobotomy’s competing with bloody decapitations for the attention of The Baron’s sword from the heavens.


Picture back to when Peter Jackson was unrestrained by the multi conglomerate studio system, and making his unrestricted pictures Bad Taste (1987) and Meet The Feebles (1989), and when George Lucas was a young and vibrant film maker, combine the elements with a fresh infusion of pure talent and you get Ricardo Ribelles. Long live The Baron and long reign Ribelles.

Review Paul Cooke / Source NTSC Region 2 Japanese DVD

The Baron Against The Demons
aka Star Troopers (2006)
Director Ricardo Ribelles
With Juan Carlos Romeu,
Helena Lechmere & Gerardo Arenas

Project UFO: The Phillip J. Roth Files

Dark Descent

(2002/USA)

‘‘Take a deep breath…It might be your last’’

Back to the undersea facility for UFO! If you remember Outland (1981) with Sean Connery, than you’ll know what to expect here. Actually, you may know most everything that happens. But Outland was a virtual remake of High Noon (1952), so I guess Connery and Outland had it coming.
Dean Cain stars as Will Murdack, a marshall in the Deep Submersible Division (eh?) who has come to clean ship so to speak. His first day on the job and there are naked women running screaming in the halls… this literally happens during his orientation. No kidding, we know that there is trouble beneath the waves for sure. Murdack takes action, killing one of the thugs responsible for the nearly glimpsed breasts, but leaves his brother, the psychopathic Vlad Kristov alive. Vlad swears revenge, announcing this intent by yelling NOOOOOOOO--naturally. Good stuff… Murdack continues on his evil bashing ways presumably, and his time to leave the facility, now cleaned up of course, has arrived. But a rash of recent suicides and a mystery drug has him puzzled. Seems there is something making workers go berserk in the Xyloban (that is what they call it)…and there also seems to be some kind of alien force crushing up people in graphic CGI rendered sequences. Ah, you can’t be underwater without at least one explosive decompression sequence…UFO doesn’t disappoint on that front. Little CGI men in suits go sploosh quite nicely.
And then, it’s full on High Noon in your moms pool (I mean at the bottom of the ocean) as the baddies return, the deputy leaves and the final third of the film is a shootout that features some neat CGI tricks (a bisection is always good in my book). Dean Cain leaping in slow motion included. Well, it goes down smooth enough.
The story is thin in spots, and runs into an issue with subplots being generated and then dropped before ANTYHING can happen with them. Murdack is claustrophobic…but so what? Know what, it never gets used! His family dies while he is off boffing another woman (hey it’s co-star Biliana Petrinska, I can dig it)…so he has some serious sexual issues we are told. Never went back to that either. Ah well…there is lots of shooting and action, so I forgot about all that anyhow. The joy of being a target market never ceases.

As seems to be the norm, a little something unique is on show. Our lead is an utter and unrepentant prick. Yes, it’s hard to get behind Dean Cain as the reportedly sexually dysfunctional claustrophobe who works in an enclosed space here. He seems to just be a snippy ass clown with little redeeming value, and I don’t think Dean is really trying to go above and beyond the material let’s say. Hey, if he got shot up, would I really have been sad. Nope ! Again though, one of the lures of low budget films like this is the chance to step away from the cookie cutter at times and give the audience a hero so un-likeable you want to see him explosively decompress! Great underwater effects as usual…those guys at UFO ips really have that software mastered.

Review David Zuzelo / Source USA NTSC DVD

Dark Descent (2002)
Director Mitchell Cox
With Dean Cain, Biliana Petrinska,
Jochen Nickel & William Zabka

Mexican Post Nuke Nachos

Commando De La Muerte

aka Death Command

(1989/Mexico)

Mayan mysticism meets The Road Warrior in a Mexican made Post Nuke jungle Actioner, ripped from those glorious Italian made Eighties clones and with many of their enjoyable trimmings dutifully applied. Those familiar with the leather clad, mutant wrangling adventures of Conrad Nichols in Rush (1983) & Rage (1984) will be instantly at home with Commando De La Muerte. So much so that you’d be forgiven for thinking that Director Alfredo Gurrola is a would be South American applied pseudonym for Italian movie maker Tonino Ricci !.
It’s 2033 and the world has been decimated following the big bang. In the jungle region of Mexico pockets of survivors are formed into societies, one of which is of the anticipated despotic kind, feeding off the toil of others and taking care of anyone who challenges their position. When a free trading trio of mercenaries loose one of their number to the guerrilla gang fare, in a food for gems deal, the two commando compadres seek vengeance for their fallen friend.
Bring on the big guns, bulging biceps of man made fury, Mexican stand off style. Throw in some exploding huts Bruno Mattei style and a whole heap of inexplicable special powers that the lead bad guys possess, as if thrown in from the Alfonso Brescia cauldron of cinematic weirdness, and you have a ‘B’ movie beverage to savour along with your bowl of tortillas.

The style of the movie is definitely old school Eighties goodness. Full use of the location setting and ancient structures make the film come alive all on its own. The on screen players eat up the scenery and dutifully dispatch body blows and exchange firepower with frequent enough interjection to keep things interesting. Billowing smoke, pumped into shot doubtlessly by low paid off screen runners, adds to the low tech feel in that knowing warm smile of acceptability. This is a film that isn’t pretending to be anything other than a low budget, high camp, silly fest that wont win any awards other than that of its intended audiences affectionate embrace.

Special effects are all but exempt from proceedings, applied with the preferred effect of drawing upon imagination and visual bang for buck in the stunt coordination department. The Action and interaction of the diversity of on screen characters is what sells the movie, that and the sound effect that comes with the commando’s futuristic form of transportation. Why spend thousands on creating a 21st century super vehicle when you can throw in a beaten up old jeep that trawls through the jungle as if it is a hybrid fuelled behemoth !?. It’s amusing charm, that is guaranteed to bring a giggle every time it is seen and heard, is down to its evident heavy handed diesel machinations that are wondrously over played by a sweeter sounding electric tone. The engine seems to run forever only on an occasional refill of what appears to be an emulsified can of corned beef. Clearly this is the future result of Mad ‘Cars’ Disease !.


Pretty much the second half of the movie features Sergio Goyri as the lead honcho going up against the jungle overlords, as he is separated from his brother in arms, and only towards the end discovers his friends plight !. Goyri holds his own very well though and his run ins with most of the unusual occupants of the region is what sells Commando De La Muerte.

Before the inevitable final showdown between good and evil Goyri encounters a human birdman, replete with fully fashioned wings and a face mask setting off his comic book characterised body sculptured protective armour, who would not be out of place in an episode of The Green Hornet. A mysterious tree hugging bowman who keeps his distance but offers assistance in times of trouble, but who’s true allegiance is kept vague. Throw in implied sounds of unseen creatures, most notably what may well be a pernicious presence that lurks amidst the pools of water around the jungle, and there is an eerie tone that plays out, adding its own air of zaniness to the whole.


The movie is in Spanish with no subtitles, which actually adds to the viewing experience if you can manage the undertaking of what pretty much is a dialogue free Action outing anyway. Anyone with knowledge of a dubbed or subtitled version please do however step up and holler any details pertaining to a whereabouts, as this would be a scream on Mystery Science Theatre 3000 !.

Prepare then for the ultimate end face off as heroic hombre Sergio Goyri, aided by his Viking horned helmet activist leader, square off against el mucho madman and his aluminium foil head wearing sidekick in a jungle duel that Sergio Leone would have raised a third eyebrow at. Can Sergio save the day or will aluminium head ‘foil’ him to wrap things up !?.
Available on both VHS and DVD Commando De La Muerte has all the flavour of the golden age of Eighties Italian styled schlock, with the Post Apocalyptic cocktail worthy of your time. Throw all the positive ingredients together for this Mexican Action slammer and what you get is a big fun slice of Mad Mex !.

Review Paul Cooke / Source USA NTSC VHS

Commando De La Muerte (1989)
Director Alfredo Gurrola
With Sergio Goyri, Jorge Luke,
Cesar Sobrevals & Ernesto Yanez