Saturday, 15 August 2009

Super Salacious Sci-Fi From Spain

El barón contra los Demonios
(The Baron Against The Demons)
aka Star Troopers

‘‘You dominated my flesh but my spirit is strengthened’’

Feather the nest of your favourite perch as this one’s as cuckoo as it gets, but boy is it worth throwing all the eggs out of the basket to let this bad boy loose unto the world. Stickier than a space monkeys Simian sauce, served up on a sci-fi salver, this Spanish made fantastical saga is a salacious silo quay to the episodic cliff hanger yarns of yesteryear. An unbridled rhinoceros of a low budget juggernaut, rampaging across the screen with all the voracity of a wildebeest in mating season.
It’s the end of the 21st century and planet Earth is bereft of its indigenous populace. The human race as we once knew it now exists only in scarcely populated regions as scavengers. The multitude wiped out by an infestation of Satanic Evil. A band of soldiers and scientists escaping off world to form a resistance, and aligning themselves to a benign race of Aliens. Together they watch over the Earth, waiting for signs of the true Evil to show itself in order to deploy a retaliatory strike in a last ditch attempt to reacquire the mother world.
One last bastion of humanity stands his ground upon the Earth, a fearless savant of the sword and a living legend amongst the people. He is, The Baron. Honed from the muscular physique of a Greek God, and imbued with the anatomical healing capabilities of an Achilles. Both feared and revered by the inhuman heathens that trespass upon Earths pastures, as this clandestine apostle of God delivers both death, and the seed of life !.
In Satan’s servitude is the Earths self proclaimed matriarch, Lady Pervertum. A big breasted bitch babe torn from the page of a Boris Vallejo graphic illustration. A freak of fetish feminism, bespoke of bulbous bustier and adorned of minimalist body hugging leather garment. Little is left to the imagination, as the magnificence of her well honed physique is highlighted by a tightly tapered thong, tantalisingly traversing South to North betwixt her holy grail and the divide of Sodom !. A lustful harpy caricatured from Pamela Anderson in clay-mation form, sporting Steven Tyler lips, and a highly toned Bactrian bottom to compliment her camel toe vixen verity !.

Pervertum is at the pinnacle of her proclivity, and in this dystrophic society she is charged with bringing The Baron to heal. The draining of his life giving sperm will in cross procreation bring about the birth of a master race to rule the universe.
Traversing the underground caverns, to seek out Pervertum in her lair, The Baron falls into her grasp. She seeks to have him mate with her so that she in kind can then procreate with the hideous hermaphrodite beast that is Ragnorok. The combined gene pool of seminal fluid swiftly to gestate within the womb of the beast, to bring forth the required malignant Messiah to reign in totality.

Rigidly restrained in the perilous pit of Pervertum’s pantry The Baron is tortured to the point of passing out. Forced to copulate with the writhing Pervertum, he refuses to give in to her pervasive ways. Unable to break The Baron’s spirit Pervertum eventually takes what she needs, forcefully inserting a surgical suction implement directly into The Baron’s scrotum. With her objective acquired she slinks off to further her conjugal proclivities with Ragnorok, as together, conjoined in the ways of unearthly mating, they bathe in the Baron’s seminal fluid. The visual of vivacious vixen, and horny Harryhausen inspired beastie, squirms and spits like a wiener on a barbecue grill. The bump and grind of hellish creatures is the stuff of Salvador Dali.

Left for dead in the loquacious lady’s labyrinth word of his distress reaches his brother in arms lieutenant Alexander. Surveillance studying the Earth from space, upon an alliance ship, Alexander demands that The Baron receives assistance in his solitary plight. Enter lieutenant Bowman into the fray. A lithe nymphomaniac soldier, curvier than a Betty Page poster babe who could easily open beer bottles with her perfectly pert nipples. If erotica had a sci-fi chick skin flick Bowman and Pervertum would be the hostesses, and The Baron would be their pimp daddy. This is indeed the resultant offspring of Barbarella (1968) bumping ugly with Flesh Gordon (1974) !.

Bowman breaches Pervertum’s defences and soon comes face to face with her small freaky army of masked midget men. Reminiscent of Anthony Hopkins ventriloquist dummy from the movie Magic (1978) crossed with Betty Davis’ garish character from Whatever Happened To Baby Jane (1962). These diminutive marauders are Lady Pervertum’s Larva !.
Once Bowman manages to reach The Baron, who has rejuvenated himself from his death dealt condition thanks to his ability to heal, together they set about dispatching the evil elves with all the precision of seasoned soldiers. Deftly dealing out sword searing amputation and decapitations with raucous bloody abandonment. Lady Pervertum sits astride Ragnorok and together they flee to seek out a safe solitude for the short cycle of gestation to take place. Only The Baron can stop them now, and he must do so with immediate haste !.

Director Ricardo Ribelles has conjured up one of the greatest ‘B’ movie cinematic cults ever !. Spawned from a short basic film, itself based upon his own comic book artistry and story, he first shot back in 1996 under the title Exorcio Deus Machine: La misión, he has worked tirelessly for ten whole years in getting The Baron Against The Demons to bear as a full feature film. His diligence to what is undoubtedly his proud cinematic child pays off to spectacular effect. This is no ordinary low budget ‘B’ flick, it is without question a standard bearer in pursuit of achieving the often unattainable. Surpassing most all in its tumultuous wake, with its shear scale of ingenuity and brilliance in set pieces and magnificent miniature work, Ribelles is to be applauded for his industrious pursuit in getting this jewel polished to nigh perfection, taking all the usual hurdles and restraints applied into appreciation for such an undertaking. The star of the show, The Baron, as played by Juan Carlos Romeu has stood by Ribelles it would seem as a true friend and believer also, as he played the lead character ten years ago himself, rewarded here again with the role of the gregarious hero.

Everything from the outlandish characters to the magnitude of the magnificent miniatures, and people perfect puppetry is so deliciously delivered up on the screen with a panache that is so rarely experienced from a fledgling movie maker. There is deliriously over the top dialogue delivered as if Conan The Barbarian was doing Shakespeare, wonderfully realised by the highly apt English voice over actors. With biblical overtures of the most profanely incongruous in this politically correct regime, you cannot help but want to get up and applaud this bodacious barnstormer of a movie.

Ricardo Ribelles displays great deference for the sci-fi genre with many acknowledgements to those that have been his forbearers in the field. The Star Wars (1977) overtures are evident, and most amusingly noticeable in the likeness of a young George Lucas in the persona of the character Lieutenant Alexander. Comic book artist Jack Kirby is the inspiration behind the uncanny appearance of an evil bulbous floating head that leads his evil acolytes into battle against the alliance crusaders. It is as if Kirby himself had rendered from page to film frame. Incredible stuff.

This is ‘B’ movie omnipotence born from upon high. Expect great things from Ricardo Ribelles, and if that means a big budget sequel return for The Baron then lavish him with all the pesatas he deservedly requires. El barón contra los Demonios aka The Baron Against The Demons is a midnight marquee masterwork that will surely attain cult status imminently. Catch it wherever and whenever it is playing to be a party to The Baron slicing and dicing with blood siphoning serenity. Bear witness to bulbous eyes popping prior to heads exploding, and cranial lobotomy’s competing with bloody decapitations for the attention of The Baron’s sword from the heavens.

Picture back to when Peter Jackson was unrestrained by the multi conglomerate studio system, and making his unrestricted pictures Bad Taste (1987) and Meet The Feebles (1989), and when George Lucas was a young and vibrant film maker, combine the elements with a fresh infusion of pure talent and you get Ricardo Ribelles. Long live The Baron and long reign Ribelles.

Review Paul Cooke / Source NTSC Region 2 Japanese DVD
The Baron Against The Demons
aka Star Troopers (2006)
Director Ricardo Ribelles
With Juan Carlos Romeu,
Helena Lechmere & Gerardo Arenas


  1. Thanks for the heads-up on this one, it looks incredible, though sadly it seems I may never lay eyes on it. Perhaps not, but d'ya have any idea if or when this would be available or is planned on US disc?

  2. I am quite stunned that the movie is neither available in the US or the UK, both perfect for this type of Adult Acion Sci-Fi. I just had to pick it up on Japanese DVD, but of course it is pretty darned expensive that way. The up side is that the Japanese DVD's are of the very best quality produced so the movie looks great.
    The film has been released to DVD I believe in Thailand, definitely on VCD & the price is much lower than Japan. Worth doing a search on Ebay or on the net for some of the Thai DVD stores & purchasing direct at likely around $12 - $15. Hope you get to see the movie, it is for sure a must have. Paul

  3. Holy damn, a great great find, Ive never even heard of this one but it looks amazing, hopefully it sees treatment overseas so we can get our greedy American hands on it before its remade with Will Smith and Steven Spielberg