Albert Pyun's Ravenhawk

This Years Hot Ticket

The Return Of PYUN Man

Cyber Cinema and Action Movies are back with a 'B' Movie Bang, and one man synonymous with the explosive theatrical theory is non other than Albert Pyun. He is back in the film making groove and the delights of his wares may be found at his very own web site:

www.albertpyunmovies.com/ In tandem with his eagerly awaited, and soon to be released

Tales Of An Ancient Empire comes a Fan appreciation Blog of all things Pyun.

Be sure to lock 'n load your search browser for the detonator of explosive entertainment David Zuzelo over at the aptly named Pyuniverse. The Pyuniversal Studios are now well and truly open, and there is a whole heap of great articles, reviews and pictures aplenty awaiting your viewing pleasure. Check it out over at The Pyuniverse - The Weird Worlds Of Albert Pyun: http://pyuniverse.blogspot.com/

Step Into The Future With The Pyuniverse & Become A Fellow Pyunite Today

Ravenhawk

(1996/USA)

‘‘I’d rather fight and die with dignity than live like you’’

Tough core old school Action with a female lead pumped to the max in the super honed form of two time Ms. Olympia Rachel McLish. Director Albert Pyun muscles in on the Rambo payback trail with his own inimitable flair for adding something extra to a genre. Here he brings the magnificent Miss. McLish, an attractive countenance with an athletic form that can stand toe to toe with any man, and pretty much leave most face down reeling in the dust beneath her feet !. For centuries her Native American people and culture has been victimised by the white man. Even now Rhiya Shadow Feather’s family and people are subjected to prejudice and injustice as they are illegally cheated of their land. Rhiya Shadow Feather (Rachel McLish) is pushed way beyond the boundary of human tolerance by the low life vicious puppets of an avarice driven businessman. A corrupt senator, in cahoots with an equally avaricious corporate magnate named Philip Thorne, uses his status to quash the human rights of a Native American tribal council to steal their peoples land for the purpose of a nuclear waste development. The local sheriff’s department are paid off and some of Thorne’s men are sent in to intimidate Chief Shadow Feather to sign over his peoples land. Headed up by Thorne’s right hand man Carl Rikker (Mitch Pileggi), a cold hearted and malicious individual, things immediately go beyond intimidation. Both Chief Shadow Feather and his wife are pushed around and beaten in front of their young daughter Rhiya. When Rhiya displays a spirit of great fortitude in one so young, her strength of character is turned against her and her parents, as the malignant Rikker turns a blade she has picked up in defence into a weapon of attack. Rikker forcibly grabs the petrified young Rhiya’s knife wielding hand, and thrusts it with the blade into the sternum of her father. He then with further intent forces the child’s hand with bloodied blade up into the stomach of her weeping mother. Both parents are killed at the forced hand of their distraught daughter.
With the perjured testimonies of the sheriff’s department and the overseeing might of the senate the court hand over the land to the Thorne Corporation and condemn the child Rhiya Shadow Feather for the murder of her parents. The statements given tell of an Indian ritual ending with the killing of Chief Shadow Feather and his wife at the hands of their mentally disturbed daughter. Rhiya is given a life sentence and immediately sent to the Colorado state institute for women due to her evaluation of unstable mental health.
Twelve years pass and the Thorne Corporation has been hard at work, taking the resources of the rightfully Native American land and usurping it for his own insatiable end. The institutionalised Rhiya Shadow Feather has also been working hard, upon her own body and spirit. Her mind focused on the traumatic events that condemned her to a life of incarceration, and her body pushed to the limits of physical exertion with a daily routine of strength and fitness development. A parole hearing affords her a transfer from the mental health institute to the Colorado state penitentiary for women. Transit by road proves to be an opportunity for her to right the wrongs of over a decade gone by. The prison driver encounters an unanticipated problem at speed and the vehicle careens off the route way, crashing down a rocky climb to eventually explode in a plume of uncontrolled fire. The now adult Rhiya Shadow Feather manages to scramble clear of the wreck before the explosion. With breaking news of the accident hitting the television broadcast news, and headlines of the daily newspapers of the incident, to all the world Rhiya Shadow Feather and the driver are both dead at the scene. Upon hearing the news Philip Thorne and his lackey Carl Rikker celebrate Rhiya’s demise. For them, however, their state of elevation is soon to come crashing down as the wrath of a woman wronged will be realised !.
During her time away Rhiya’s sleeze bag oppressors have all been set up with the perks and trappings of a privileged lifestyle. With the benefit of anonymity attained by her announced death, and the advancement from childhood into womanhood, Rhiya has the advantage of stealth to seek out these miscreants and exact her vengeance upon them. A less extreme variation of the infamous Day Of The Woman (1978) follows, with the erudite paroxysm of Fabrizio De Angelis’ (aka Larry Ludman) Thunder (1983) and its sequels.
Rhiya is the embodiment of her tribal spirit the Raven Hawk. Its incumbent stature displayed with pride and honour in the form of a tattoo etched upon her body, symbolising its meaning and transience between this world and the next. Her body, mind and soul now as one with the Raven Hawk, Rhiya strikes back !. The first visitation with her new found freedom is to the paupers grave site where her parents are laid to rest. Rhiya then reclaims her only surviving heritage as she reunites with her feisty family horse Dakota, taking it back from a cruel treating farm owner with a swift blow of retribution. Beauty and the beast together again they ride like the wind to her family and tribes reservation, before it was taken from them, to gaze first hand over the industrial eyesore of the Thorne Corporation. She then sets about calling upon those that were involved in the act that led to her parents untimely deaths, to deliver upon them her own brand of final justice.
Her first port of call is to a seedy hired hand of Thorne’s who is set up with his own sea diving and boat hiring business. Rhiya signs up for a one to one diving trip that goes down well with the sleaze bag, right up until being out at sea and then his realisation of who his client actually is. He next turns up in the community coroners, dead upon his cold slab, minus his scalp sliced from his skull by the serrated blade of a knife !. His demise is quickly followed by that of a fellow despicable cohort at the hands of Rhiya, as she sends him spiralling down to his death from the great height of a connecting bridge betwixt a ravine far below. Her calling card, despite her reported death, resonates Thorne’s attention and to deal with the situation he immediately hires a three man hit team. The sequence of events that unfolds involving them tracking her, and being tracked themselves, is worthy of a short film within the feature all itself.
It’s solid Action all the way as Rhiya is chased across the rocky desert terrain, calling upon all her self training to pull her through and subjugate the three professional hit men. All have individual skills including tracking, trap setting, and weaponry, along with a collective pen chance for completing their contracts successfully. Rhiya Shadow Feather is, however, a breed apart and her compulsion to see her journey through is ultimately greater !. A frantic fight for survival plays out across a multiple of terrains, where all wheel drive vehicles and motorcycle square up against one horse power riding Native American warrior woman, saddled up as a signature for the stuff of Native American Indian legend !.
Rachel McLish is one very fit and agile lady, likely employing all her own natural ability to undertake not only the lead role but doing most, if not all, of her own stunt work and fighting scenes in the movie. A real find, and another well sculptured, chiselled featured Adonis that Albert Pyun uncovers for his films. She gives great credence to her star role, and every moment of on screen hard edged slice of endurance and embroiled physicality is served up believably for all to see and enjoy. She is bullied and beaten but never broken, as her unyielding spirit sees her through to the inevitable collision with her nemesis, Philip Thorne (William Atherton). Raven Hawk is high yielding, quality Action, old school Al Dante style. Director Albert Pyun delivers the goods with consummate skill, like a spaghetti western wearing Dirty Harry shoes, and an Eighties styled Italian poncho.
The lavish expanse of the Colorado vista is lovingly realised with sweeping panoramic cameras, sadly not done justice to when viewing in a non letterboxed viewing format. This, along with Albert Pyun’s entire back catalogue is crying out to be reissued in its full and proper scope format, for a generation of both old and new fans of the ‘Pyuneering’ director to embrace and enjoy !.

Movie Rating: 6/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source US NTSC VHS

Ravenhawk (1996)

Director Albert Pyun
With Rachel McLish, John Enos III, Ed Lauter,
Mitch Pileggi & William Atherton
They brought the fight, but this time it’s Squaw !

Foree's A Jolly Good Zombie Slayer

Apocalypse Of The Dead

aka Zone Of The Dead

(2009/Serbia/Italy/Spain)

‘‘Hell is going to overflow, and the dead will rise forever’’

Asphyxiated Eastern Europeans are transformed into Serbian Zombies when a bio hazardous green gas escapes containment, whilst being transported by rail. It’s a train wreck in more ways than one as the unprotected locals mutate into flesh eating fiends, in this cheap ticket to terror. If you are prepared for economy class horror then Apocalypse Of The Dead should see you through till the end of its well intentioned jaunty journey.

Zombie ass kicking legend Ken Foree, Dawn Of The Dead (1978), is ex CIA agent Mortimer Reyes, now with Interpol and based in Serbia. It’s the eve of his retirement but he has one last case to undertake before closure on a distinguished career. Along with long time friend and professional colleague, Inspector Dragan Belic, he is the experienced local back up for rookie Interpol agent Mina Milius (Kristina Klebe). Assigned with a couple of other agents she is designated to transport a known criminal across Serbia to Belgrade. A straight forwarded enough first mission for a promoted field agent. That is until they enter the Zone Of The Dead !.

The scenario is set then for a Serbian Zombie smack down that unashamedly borrows all the classic un-dead themes, and throws them into the monster mix, to serve up a concoction that plays out like a cross between The Return Of The Living Dead (1985) and Assault On Precinct 13 (1976). This actually works very much in the movies favour, as what is clearly lacking in budget and acting ability is effusively made up for in pandering to its intended audience. Casual viewers and non genre fans need not fret themselves if this eludes them, but Zombie lovers, more likely than not, will find more to enjoy in this quirky outing than the majority.

When the toxic transient clears from the crisp night air it has infiltrated, its effect upon those that have inhaled it are all too apparent. Man, woman and child alike, asphyxiated in death are resurrected as the living dead. They hunger, for blood !. Anyone unaffected by the breached green gas soon fall foul of the rampaging mutants. One man, freed from the incarceration of the asylum following a breach of security during the fateful fallout, believes that this is The End Of Days. He sees the evil lurking all around and envelopes the signs as a prophetic reality rendering of The Book Of Revelations. Upon himself he takes it to embrace this malicious malady of mankind, and designate himself a soldier of God. Step forth then this scripture quoting religious zealot against Zombiedom. With a war wagon stacked with weapons aplenty he is readied for the freeway to Armageddon !.

Hitting a similar road with different intent are Agent Mina Milius, Inspector Dragan Belic, a handful of agents, and of course Ken Foree as Mortimer Reyes, together with their custodial criminal to be delivered as instructed to Belgrade. Their journey of course soon hits a cross roads where the only sign of life is them !.
Operation Black Smoke is the insidious banner behind the dead coming back to life. A decades before discovered ancient burial ground, where plague victims were uncovered in a state of still living cell maturation, was saturated in chemicals which reacted with dead matter bringing life once again where there was none. The government kept the incident a secret and let their scientists lose on the phenomenon, and like Doctor Frankenstein their experiments began to create something they could breathe new life into. Some twenty years or so later lightening strikes, and It’s Alive, It’s Alive !.

Time for the traditional cry of ‘‘Aim for the head’’ as the freaks are on the streets, and limbs hang from sinewy severed threads. It’s bloody barbecue time Serbian style, where suddenly Ken Foree is subconsciously transported back to Dawn Of The Dead (1978), and even gets to metaphorically throw out some inside one liners that true Zombie fan boys will revel in. When it is suggested that the handful of survivors hold up in a mall Ken’s character Mortimer Reyes raises an eyebrow and tells all to trust him that it wont be safe to do that !.

With the Zombie contingent far outnumbering the living, and Reyes and Milius witnessing their friends and colleagues falling victim to the flesh eaters, they have no choice but to unshackle their custodian and take arms alongside the criminal to fight their way through the hordes of hell. To their surprising aid comes the crazy Zombie slaying zealot, bible bashing with a bazooka and a line to the lord that strikes down all that stand before him. Together the small group of the still living cut a swathe through the sea of the dead in a battle to survive. Sword slaying, head severing, limb lopping, bullet blazing bad ass-ness follows in a fulfilling final reel that puts a lot of modern horrors to shame. Not one iota of moment spoiling CGI fills the screen, much to the credit of all involved in this gleefully gruel glut fest. Sure its low budget but it still does the good stuff old school style, and that shows big time, scoring bonus points for its intended audience.

Throw in a couple of genuinely neat and originally quirky little ideas to the Zombie genre, such as a scene where Reyes has to walk through a segment of bizarrely dormant Zombies, all laid out on their backs as if resting !?, and it is evident that the makers of the movie weren’t out simply to just cash in on the over saturated maturation of Zombie flicks.
Leave all expectations behind, slip the brain into neutral and enjoy this zany Zombie take as it is intended. The stilted delivery of dialogue is reminiscent of those English dubbed Italian schlock flicks from the Eighties, but funnier. It’s kinda like tuning into a late night obscure cable channel and picking up a foreign movie that is totally unintelligible, yet at the same time transfixes you with its visual vibrancy and enticing entertainment value.
Apocalypse Of The Dead sure wont win any Oscar but it may just win your horror lovin’ heart, that is unless one of its Serbian Zombies doesn’t tear it from your chortling carcass first !.

Movie Rating: 5/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source Region 2 PAL UK DVD

Apocalypse Of The Dead (2009)
Director Milan Konjevic & Milan Todorovic
With Ken Foree, Kristina Klebe,
Emilio Roso & Miodrag Krstovic

A Dark MacLeod Awaits Adrian Paul

Nine Miles Down

(2009/UK/USA/Hungary/Australia)

Death and delirium at a desert outpost research centre calls for company security, in the guise of Highlander’s Adrian Paul, as Thomas ‘Jack’ Jackman, to investigate. There can be only one it seems, as his lone trek to the facility is accompanied by a severe wind storm that closes him off to any assistance. It is apparent upon Jack’s arrival that all is not well as the complex is deserted, and etched in blood upon a corridor wall is the phrase ‘Save Yourselves’. From here on in there is something more insidious than just sand for Jack to contend with !.

A research team investigating a geological anomaly deep within the earths crust, of the central Sahara Desert in Northern Africa, discover new and independently formed life forms when they drill Nine Miles Down. In the days that follow all twenty five of them vanish !. Jack secures the facility as night closes in, and with it comes a terrible storm. Finding the sleeping quarters he rests up out of the sand storm that rages outside. His sleep pattern is interrupted by nightmares and seemingly waking visions of bloody terror. Haunted by the death by suicide of his wife, who in turn also took the lives of their two children in her lowest moment, self tortured in the belief that her husband was having an affair, Jack is increasingly finds himself susceptible to an unseen presence.
The following day, seemingly just out of the blue, a pretty young woman jogs into the encampment and nonchalantly introduces herself to Jack as Doctor Jenny Christianson. She is pleased he has arrived with transportation, and is immediately keen to leave. Jack is more concerned in seeking answers !. Reporting into base camp Jack is informed that the occupants of the research centre were an all male crew !. He is told to stay in case of any other signs of life from the team. What follows is around a twenty four hour period of discovery, paranoia and violent visions as the desert complex unveils its pernicious credentials.
This is a top quality ‘B’ movie with true ideals of a multiplex success screen filler that would do well by word of mouth. As it is with a straight to home view marketing it is well worth seeking out. The remote desert setting is reminiscent to that of the isolated one in John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982), unsurprising then that when the project was originally set to role back in 1995 John Carpenter was due to be in the directors chair. He, however, went on instead to make Escape From L.A (1996), and the movie hit the back burner until now. Anthony Waller does a very sound job at the helm, but you can’t help but wonder where the movie may just have gone had John Carpenter fulfilled the producers vision !?.

The atmospheric eeriness permeates proceedings throughout, along with a subtle and highly effective use of sound, combining sublimely with some very neat uses of acute camera angles. Sweeping shots from high and low keep the viewer on look over your shoulder alert, anxiously anticipating as the nightmarish nuances unravel.

This is a tightly woven chiller, thriller with overtones of Dante’s Inferno. What you believe is real may become so if you perceive it to actually be !.

Good to see Adrian Paul back in a tangible role that he takes full advantage of to show that he is a highly competent actor. Kate Nauta as the mysterious Doctor Jennie Christianson is sexy and smart in equal portion, as are her own delectable proportions. Several scenes of violent acts punctuate the foreboding atmosphere, delivered purposefully and never relied upon to add cheep scare tactics. The movie never relies upon, nor requires such over used horror clichés, Nine Miles Down is a refreshing outing that keeps you watching with baited anticipation from start to finish.

Movie Rating: 7/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source Region 1 NTSC DVD

Nine Miles Down (2009)

Director Anthony Waller

With Adrian Paul, Kate Nauta, Meredith Ostrom,

Amanda Douge, Anthony Waller & Arcadiy Golubovich

 

‘‘I’ve seen what can happen when people abandon reason’’

This Aint No 'Rom' Com

Tough Cop

(1987 / Canada / Phillipines / USA)

‘‘Think like a man, move like a cat’’

 

Following tips and hunches Miami’s budget ball breakers Carpenter and Logan are the ‘B’ movie equivalents of Crockett and Tubbs from Miami Vice, with all the attitude of Dirty Harry. They constantly take down other departments jurisdictions against regulation to collar the heavily armed drug dealers. Chief Inspector Caruso has to regularly remind Carpenter that he is no longer in Vietnam and that there are rules to follow !.‘Fat Cat’ is the new big boss garnering a reputation amongst the dealers and street pushers. Whilst he eases out the opposition Carpenter and Logan squeeze his operation and Fat Cat takes note of Carpenter. His men pick up Carpenter and girlfriend Stella, bringing them blindfolded to their big boss who makes Carpenter an offer of great wealth to join him. Nick Carpenter is an honest cop but Fat Cat gives an ultimatum to work for him, or work for no one !. Carpenter is given five days to give the drug baron his answer, holding Stella against her will and making it perfectly clear what the implications of refusal will be !.

With his professional partner Pete at his side Nick Carpenter hit’s the streets for information as to Fat Cat’s whereabouts, and together the duo really kick into Action. Revving things up in a red Ford Mustang, Carpenter and Logan shake things down at a bar where a moment to talk with a drink soon turns into a brawl. Gang cronies try to call in a debt but do not cater for the Miami detectives calling out the shots, and pretty soon the two clean house well before last orders are taken.
Haunted by memories of Vietnam, war hero Nick Carpenter now patrols the urban jungle of Miami as a detective working for the law enforcement agency of Miami Special Branch. A survivor of the Vietcong torture camps he now fights to keep the streets clean of drug dealers. Along with his black police partner Pete Logan he still does things his own way to get results, constantly agitating his superior Chief Inspector John Caruso, played by the ubiquitous Mike Monty. Chief Caruso at one stage applicably verbalises to Carpenter ‘‘You’re a natural born killing machine, and a no good social worker’’.

When the governors young son is taken hostage for a $2 million ransom Carpenter and Logan again disregard the chiefs explicit order to stay out of it, and set about closing in on the heavily armed abductors in their own inimitable fashion. Holed up in an abandoned multi storied warehouse the gang of abductors are staked outside by the police but are more than prepared as they strike out with heavy artillery, including machine guns and a rocket launcher. The altercation soon turns into a fire powered frenetic free for all, but amidst the distraction Carpenter and Logan set about taking out the bad guys by surprise from within the warehouse. The Action for value exchange here is very rewarding.

All small crimes and drug dealings connect back to Fat Cat, and when Nick and Pete finally catch a guy with inside information as to the crime lords whereabouts the truly Explosive Action kicks into high gear. Employing a personal interpretation on methods of interrogation, used against himself and fellow soldiers in Vietnam, Carpenter employs a makeshift torture device to assure the lackey gives up the hideaway of Fat Cat. It proves to be a small island just off the coast of Miami. Carpenter and Logan waste no time in preparing themselves to go calling !.

Fat Cat, a Caucasian version of Barry White, with a line in suits likely picked out at the time by Ray Charles, revels in his king pin position and surrounds himself with a small army of well armed men. Nick and Pete are helicopter dropped into the waters just off shore of the island, kitted out mercenary style, armed to the hilt readied for Action. Two cops back in Action ‘Nam style, prepared to take the war to the drug war monger Fat Cat !.
Kenneth Peerless & Mike Monty

The two super cool cops soon discover that the island is a huge hording port for drugs and munitions. They set explosives to destroy the lot and set about delivering a personal message to Miami’s underworld. Armed with big guns, big explosives and big sunglasses, they storm the island on a mission intent on taking down Fat Cat and rescuing Stella.

The bullet laden explosive finale is gung ho greatness, and even has time for the odd moment of welcome wry humour. A nod to Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981) sees a black clad, sword wielding Ninja, squaring up to Romano Kristoff and a gun. Kristoff’s reaction here, with an immediate response and delivery of dialogue, is classic.

This is Action packed, crowd rousing stuff which delivers entertainment in no small measure. How can you not be thrilled by a film that ends with Romano Kristoff audaciously squaring off against a helicopter ?. It takes a lot of bottle to stop Fat Cat getting the cream !

Movie Rating: 7/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source NTSC VHS Japan

Tough Cop (1987)
Director Dominic Elmo Smith
With Rom Kristoff, Jimi B Jnr, Anthony East,

Project UFO: The Phillip J. Roth Files

Mindstorm

aka

Project: Human Weapon

(2000 / USA)

Now this is fun, and it doesn’t even involve an underwater facility! Evan Mink (Judge Reinhold…more on that later!) is a commando who screws up his mission. This leads all to all of his men dying. Thankfully they do so in a way that entertains the audience, as Mink escapes via balloon extraction from a CGI plane. Gunfights ensue and the uber-cliché of burnt out commando to be seen later is now firmly in place, thank you. Cut to one of the many Bulgarian secret super science places that we just know exists … thanks to the world of B-movies. In this particular facility, it’s time for the final test, and a showdown between two telepaths is underway. Professor X of the X-Men times two ! Well, maybe divided by six and then times two, but it’s a cool battle, loaded with effective CGI wibble wobbles and flying barrels.
Jerry, the nice telepath who hates to kill, wins the battle! His complacency could be a problem for his ruthless handlers … but it’s not an issue … because suddenly the complex is attacked by (say it with me) The Russians. Yeah, those wacky Russians. So now Jerry is on the run and everyone wants him to either harness, control or poke and prod. He has NEVER been outside of the complex, so it’s Stranger in a Strange Land. However, he does have visions of a sister he was taken from before entering this mysterious program (against his will), and she has been making her way by using those TK abilities to cheat at gambling. They send in the aforementioned burnt out commando, Mink, to do some tracking and retrieval.






Well, it gets more complicated, but just watch it … because amidst all this plotting (oh, did I mention that Jerry does some very Jesus Christ-esque stuff ?), there is some cool CGI, one whopper of a helicopter crash (CGI of course), and a great little dogfight sequence. Fast paced fun all around. And there is lots of that studio UFO “reacting to things that aren’t there” for the actors of course ! Truly a great shot of running from a CGI explosion follow.
Project: Human Weapon has all the hallmarks of a television pilot, and one that was made in the Eighties at that. This works to it’s advantage however. The reliable CGI artists and a fast paced story come through fine, and somehow manage to overcome two very bad things. Now, I like Judge Reinhold, but the introduction of his character has him making hand signals, and dressed in camouflage in full action man regalia. No ! Sorry, I just can’t buy it. He does a passable job throughout, but there seems to be some non-character self-loathing issues for poor Judge as he wanders about and plays his character like a passive aggressive manic depressive off his meds. To be fair though, he doesn’t really take up that much (memorable) screen time. Which leads us to problem two ! Aside from a few Americans, including the seemingly reliable to studio UFO William Zabka (Johnny from Karate Kid !) the cast is Bulgarian. Are the women attractive in that special Euro way ? … yep ! Can you understand them when they speak ? NOPE ! Remember those CGI helicopters and planes that go BOOOOOM ? Keep ‘em in mind while you try to decipher what is being said. One hilarious line has the rather cute heroine speaking to Zabka, and he just looks at her and yells “WHAT ?” He was supposed to be shocked and in character, but it’s rare that an actor can break down the wall and speak for me so clearly. Art.
Don’t let these nits pick at you though, I really enjoyed this film … hey, I’d like to see a sequel. Those Jesus powers could make for one fun flick !


Movie Rating: FUN

Review David Zuzelo / Source Region 1 NTSC DVD

Mindstorm aka Project: Human Weapon (2000)
Director Mitchell Cox
With Judge Reinhold, Victor Browne,William Zabka, Rositza Chorbadjiska, Jochen Nickel & Stela Prokopieva

‘‘The power is all in his mind’’

Joel In The Crown Horror

Blood Creek

(2009 / USA)

‘‘I’ve been seventeen longer than you’ve been alive’’

A poor German family settled in mid America, to farm and live off the land, receive a visit from a man who shows them his papers, and instruction from the homeland to take him in as their paying lodger. The year is 1936, the time of Hitler’s rule and his obsession with the black arts. The farm in which this rural family reside is set upon a formidably sized symbolic rune stone. Its properties believed to hold the secrets to life eternal !. An eerie occurrence is soon experienced by the young child of the family as she witnesses their guest, Herr Richard Wirth, bring a semblance of life back to her dead bird. An early sign of the ethereal embodiment Wirth is there to attain from his union with the rune stone. Over seventy years later, the time is now and the young girl is still living with her family at the same farm, on the same land. The girl is now a young woman of seventeen years of age, and like her family they have not aged since the first formative years of the stranger arriving at their door. The area is still and the land is lifeless, but a pernicious presence lingers and its secret cannot be contained any longer !.
Evan Marshall is a parent living apart from his estranged wife and beloved children. As an emergency paramedic he works all hours and barely survives on the minimal hours of rest afforded him. His elder brother Victor has been missing for over a year, which torments their house bound father, who blames Evan for all his perceived shortcomings. Victor was a soldier who went to war for his country whilst Evan stayed on the home front.

One dark night Victor returns to awaken Evan from his short period of sleep during the early hours. He is startled by Victors almost unrecognisable state, long haired, fully bearded, barely clothed, and covered in mud and grime. Most startling of all is his bared back, cut, lacerated and apparently fed upon !. Bloodied and beaten, but with an abundant driven determination about him, Victor tells his brother to grab whatever weapons he can. Evan has many questions but refrains from asking them, doing as his brother asks as Victor hurriedly showers and cuts the tangled, overgrown hair from his head and face. Just before dawn the two of them arrive together at the outskirts of a run down farm, a place of great pain and torture perpetrated upon Victor by the Wollner family !?. Victor asks of his brother no questions but to believe in him that what lies before them is retribution upon a god forsaken homestead of evil doers, responsible for his state of being and reason for his durational disappearance. Held captive and tortured for so long he feels bound to end this family reign of blood letting for himself and others who have not survived the ordeal, and to ensure no one else falls victim !.

What follows is an unrelenting juggernaut of fast paced, well staged, Action horror, splattered across the screen with all the gusto of an artist bringing a painting to life with each evocative stroke of the brush. Herr Wirth is unleashed to feast freely upon those gathered within the constraints of the property perimeter, their only hope for keeping him at bay being the symbolically signed home stead. Its entrance and windows blood etched in ancient hieroglyph to ward off Evil !. This Evil that stands at their door is however eternal and having immediately fed upon the blood of the livestock is almost at the peak of its power. This is the representation of Hitler’s vision for the master race. An undying, unyielding Arian juggernaut, spawned from the satanic embers of Hell itself.

Wirth conjures up a malevolent maelstrom as a necromancer, resurrecting the dead around him to use against the living, in order to cross the protective boundary keeping him from his final feast. Frenzied attacks upon the house and its few remaining living occupants follow. The most incredible of all, and one of the truly staggeringly original moments in recent screen horror, is the sequence involving a horse brought back to life and sent charging into the property. The sight of a possessed killer horse raising up and kicking out as it charges into the house with evil intent towards man is unbelievably well done !. Victor and Evan blast the beast with guns and hack at it with knife and cleaver to bring it down in the most out of control on screen savagery witnessed in quite some time. How the sequence is achieved without resorting to completely fake CGI will be open to viewer conjecture and discussion long after the movie closes. The cut and thrust of the movie lies in the solid direction and well staged Action of the piece, never allowing proceedings to falter for even a moment. The story is straight forward but unpretentious in its telling from start to finish. This then is a genuine little gem of a mid budgeted movie that gives its mainstream rivals a real kicking in the value for money, entertainment stakes.Unabashed, unrelenting and under the radar movie majesty doffs its cult in the making crown with Blood Creek. If this be the House Of F

Movie Rating: 8/10

Review by Paul Cooke / Source Region 1 NTSC DVD

Blood Creek (2009)
Director Joel Schumacher
With Dominic Purcell, Henry Cavill, Michael Fassbender,
Emma Booth & Rainer Winkelvoss ührer Frankenstein you are all urged to knock at its doors. Horror has come home.
Imagine The Evil Dead (1981) meets TV’s Supernatural, as on screen bothers Victor (Dominic Purcell) and Evan (Henry Cavill) play older, wiser, and tougher variants of Sam and Dean Winchester from the Cult show.
Evan is confused, but soon catapulted into an escalating myriad of madness and malignancy as evidence of dark forces envelope them. The two brothers storm the main homestead, violently shot gun blasting one of the male family members several times, only for him to still show signs of life !?. Victor wants answers from the head of the house Otto Wollner, but what he gets is of course not at all what it appears to be. Victor is not the only victim, and his return has set in motion an irreversible event that lets forth the true Evil.
How very refreshing, an exuberant horror to rejuvenate the genre and add great credence to the oft maligned straight to DVD rental market. Joel Schumacher revisits chiller cinema for the first time since Flatliners (1990) and delivers the goods with a gusto that harkens back to his cult hit The Lost Boys (1987). This one has sharp teeth in the shape of an immortal necromancer, spawned from an eternal dark evil resurrected by order of Hitler himself, condoning his predilection for the proliferation of a pure Arian race. An exercise in pure Evil that tortures the God loving family Wollner beyond their own mortal span, tearing at the fabric of time, feeding off the innocent, and straining at the bit to be unleashed upon the modern world. Terror in the form of malignant man is benign before a keeper, but once unshackled its inherent Evil shows no remorse in its rapacious cycle of carnage !.

Room At The Asylum For ...

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's

Sherlock Holmes

(2010 / USA)

‘‘Come Watson, the game’s afoot’’

Like a Dickensian dandy The Asylum draft Sherlock Holmes to the faux film fray. With a pocket bursting bursary to match that of it’s blockbuster cousins rider list for Guy Ritchie’s Hollywood puckering chafe sticks. Star Ben Syder, as Holmes, is unknown of up against the superlative Robert Downey Junior, but in this adventure he at least gets to wield a sword up against an iron man !. A stark Marvel to behold in a comic book pulp digestible way.

The Asylum step into the world of a literary character giant wearing boots rather than fine leather shoes, but as sole proprietors of cinemas current cash in cobblers they lace proceedings with a filmic frippery bow. Dodgy opening effects that make CGI seem like real life set the opening scene for London, England during the war torn blitz, December 29^th 1940. An elderly, and wheel chair bound, Dr. John Watson, recalls to his personal home nurse a tale of some very strange occurrences. An untold adventure with his dear friend Sherlock Holmes, to now be chronicled as the greatest, and least known achievement of Sherlock Holmes, ever to be kept from the public.

A bumptious Sherlock Holmes and grumpy Dr. Watson are called upon by Inspector LeStrade to assist with an investigation into this strange occurrence, and indeed other equally bizarre events in the vicinity. London’s Whitechapel is the scene of several sightings and carnivorous encounters with a beast not heard of in millions of years !?.

Sixpence for a good time prostitute gets you a mini T-Rex, value for money if euphemistically interpreted, but when proven to be a full on teeth and claws chew down there are better ways to fritter frustrations. This unwelcome flesh fumble leads to a Jurassic ‘pork’ !.

With improbable monsters and ingenious foul play at work the Sherlock shenanigans pep up proceedings to keep the movie enjoyable enough throughout its entirety. Dominic Keating, lieutenant Malcolm Reed from TV’s Star Trek: Enterprise, plays Holmes nemesis here, as the nimbly named Spring-Heeled Jack. His connection to Holmes is not hard to deduce, nor is the convoluted plot to bring down the monarchy and strike back at a country that Spring-Heeled Jack holds responsible for his paralysis whilst fighting for its cause. Only a specially designed synthetic suit affords Jack mobility. His ingenuity with mechanics is applied with malintent, and for the purpose of insurrection. By mechanised means the megalomaniacal miscreant sets about bombing Buckingham Palace with the intent of killing the Queen.

As ever The Asylum’s movie making studio house set about with well meant intent at producing a low budget entertainment package for a general audience. To this end they have again delivered on their good intent, as Sherlock Holmes is inoffensive silliness triggered to fire its ware with a true aim at its target demographic. A home rental market, low lay out investment, for a rewarding enough dividend on time invested on ninety minutes detachment from the daily rigours of the real word. To this extent The Asylum, with Sherlock Holmes, delivers pretty good value for money. In maximising viewing enjoyment it should be pointed out that a forgiveness of the vast majority of the low tech special effects is best prepared for in advance. What does work particularly well, however, is the scene engulfing excesses of the giant mechanised winged dragon. Its airborne assault upon the city of London, spewing flames forth from its steel set jaw, is a highlight. Witnessing Sherlock Holmes stalk it down giving chase in a hot air balloon, replete with an implemented machine gun, is the stuff of schlock silliness and laudable lampoonery long after viewing.It is quite elementary to deduce which of the two Sherlock Holmes movies will rake in the big bucks at the box office, but if you still haven’t a clue then you’d be as mad as a Baskerville not to investigate The Asylum’s infectious little fun filler.

Movie Rating 5/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source Region 1 NTSC DVD

Sherlock Holmes (2010)
Director Rachel Goldenberg
With Ben Syder, Gareth David-Lloyd, Dominic Keating,
William Huw & Elizabeth Arends
What works very well is the on screen relationship between Holmes and Watson. Ben Syder is extremely well cast as Sherlock Holmes, in what appears to be his first on screen role. Alongside Gareth David-Lloyd, hardly recognisable from his clean cut sartorial suave as Ianto Jones, from the BBC TV show Torchwood, the two are commendably selected choices for the iconic pairing. The texture of the film is also noteworthy as it has an aged look that adds authenticity to the period in which the movie takes place. Almost a brown hue that is associated with those decades old family photographs from yesteryear.

Release the Kraken !. May 19^th 1882 amidst the English channel traverses a vessel of the realm, a treasury ship with a bounty that even a good Christian would mutiny over. It is not however a wayward crew, nor an over whelming sea that besets this craft this day, but a mighty octopus risen up from the very depths of the ocean. It’s all tentacles on deck as the sea creature tears into the ship, grabbing at sea fairing sailors like plucking wayward wisps from an untrimmed lady garden.