Ballistic Blood Bullets

Ebay VHS Goodness

2011-11-13T17:17:00.000Z

Ebay Auction VHS Movies

(November 2011)

Pre-Christmas VHS Crackers up for Auction, and what a surprise package to be pulled, with nary a Turkey in sight :) .

Japanese VHS Originals, Greek Rarities and some UK PAL video Action flicks from the glorious Eighties. There's The Good, The So Bad They're Good, and the Ugly ducklings that to some are Swans in disguise, resplendent in their goofiness, absurd and downright fabulous :) .

Please do check out some of the Original cover art from titles on offer, and as always these are true scans of what are actually being offered in the Auction.

Explosive Eighties Action !. From the Karl Landgren lunge to the Maurizio Merli slap down. Gung Ho Goodness, Post Apocalyptic Fantasy & Brutal Spaghetti Western rareness, to politcally incorrect Euro / Italian Seventies Crime flicks, all looking for a good home at a fair price.

Thank you in advance to all who take the time to check the Auctions out, and a Huge Thank You particularly to those that place a bid.

Good luck, and hopefully there is something for all who stop by the Ebay express :) .

Thank You

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Urban-Warriors-NTSC-US-VHS-/270851857247?pt=UK_DVD_Film_TV_Videos&hash=item3f10075b5f

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Land-Doom-UK-PAL-VHS-/270851842108?pt=UK_DVD_Film_TV_Videos&hash=item3f1007203c

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Exterminators-Year-3000-UK-PAL-VHS-/270851840164?pt=UK_DVD_Film_TV_Videos&hash=item3f100718a4

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Strike-Commando-Bruno-Mattei-NTSC-US-VHS-/270851869257?pt=UK_DVD_Film_TV_Videos&hash=item3f10078a49

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Danger-Diabolik-NTSC-US-VHS-/270851883197?pt=UK_DVD_Film_TV_Videos&hash=item3f1007c0bd

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Cutthroats-9-NTSC-US-VHS-/270851898173?pt=UK_DVD_Film_TV_Videos&hash=item3f1007fb3d

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Tough-Ones-Umberto-Lenzi-GREEK-PAL-VHS-/270851931386?pt=UK_DVD_Film_TV_Videos&hash=item3f10087cfa

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Cynic-Rat-Fist-Umberto-Lenzi-GREEK-PAL-VHS-Widescreen-/270851934441?pt=UK_DVD_Film_TV_Videos&hash=item3f100888e9

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Spy-Connection-aka-Notturno-GREEK-PAL-VHS-/270851941113?pt=UK_DVD_Film_TV_Videos&hash=item3f1008a2f9

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/White-Apache-Bruno-Mattei-GREEK-PAL-VHS-/270851950080?pt=UK_DVD_Film_TV_Videos&hash=item3f1008c600

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Secret-Incas-Empire-GREEK-PAL-VHS-/270851958967?pt=UK_DVD_Film_TV_Videos&hash=item3f1008e8b7

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Delta-Force-Commando-NTSC-US-VHS-/270851873136?pt=UK_DVD_Film_TV_Videos&hash=item3f10079970

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Endgame-Joe-DAmato-NTSC-US-VHS-/270851862950?pt=UK_DVD_Film_TV_Videos&hash=item3f100771a6

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1990-Bronx-Warriors-Enzo-G-Castellari-NTSC-US-VHS-/270851835072?pt=UK_DVD_Film_TV_Videos&hash=item3f100704c0

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Message-Space-GREEK-PAL-VHS-/270851925315?pt=UK_DVD_Film_TV_Videos&hash=item3f10086543

Sign Up For The Death Corps ...

2011-07-14T23:51:00.004+01:00

Shock Waves

(1977 / USA)

‘‘The sea spits up what it can’t keep down’’

Nazi SS Zombie death troopers rise up from a watery grave to seek vengeance upon their creator. Programmed to kill, and created to overcome any terrain, in any condition or circumstance, these unyielding harbingers of devastation are the apocalyptic abominations of biblical prophecies. Enhanced evolutionary killing machines, these un-dead soldiers of war are the ultimate evocation of evil. They are the Führer’s Death Corps !.

Aberrations genetically designed in experimental laboratories at the end of World War II. Brought into being by the maniacal minds of Nazi SS scientists, instructed to create a super soldier. A remorseless killing machine in the image of man, but born from the manipulated DNA structure of reanimated human hosts.

The movie begins with a small private boat, captained by horror stalwart John Carradine, out on the ocean with a small compliment of crew and a handful of paying vacationers, including a very young and cute Brooke Adams. As night falls the boats occupants witness an unusual light array emanating from the ocean bead, explained away by the cranky old sea faring captain as a barometric anomaly. Later, into the sleeping hours, the boats night watchman and a sleepless Brooke Adams are startled by what appears to be a very large freighter ship bearing down upon them. Their small boat is hit, but the only trace of what caused the incident is a ghostly outline of a sunken wreck witnessed beneath the sea upon the next days dawn breaking.

With a damaged ships hull the occupants of the boat row ashore to a close by remote island in order to seek assistance. Mysteriously, the captain of the vessel has disappeared during the night. As the small party feel land beneath their feet, upon safely arriving upon the island, they are soon taken aback at the discovery of the captains lifeless body washed up upon the beach. John Carradine’s atypical movie cameo appearance, during this stage of his very long career, meets cessation with the death of his character with no apparent cause !?.

Right from the off Shock Waves ripples with atmosphere and a terrific sense of real tangibility, as if you are alongside the on screen characters experiencing what they are. Great credit to Director Ken Wiederhorn for bringing out sound performances from his ensemble of both seasoned actors, and fledgling stars of the future. His creativity in bringing the best from what is essentially a basic storyline, and delivering to his audience a finished product that refreshingly rewards well above expectations.

Peter Cushing appears on screen when the bedraggled island crashers arrive upon his doorstep. A run down old hacienda styled hotel that Cushing’s character, of a reclusive ex SS commander, resides in alone, living out the final days of a life that is clearly racked with memories of a past that haunts him.

Italian horror icon Lucio Fulci may well have been influenced by Shock Waves for his 1979 classic Zombie gore onslaught, Zombie Flesheaters. The gathered party of people, gathered in a run down haven upon a remote island, following boat trouble, is the very same scenario. Uncannily representative of the cult Euro directors memorable moments is when the first un-dead SS death corps officer rises up from his watery grave, and traverses across the ocean bed. Fulci added a shark attack to his underwater Zombie, but the general scene resemblance is most notable.

The visualisation of the German SS soldiers emerging up out of their watery grave is as memorable as that of the knights templar shuffling to the shore, after their ghostly galleon is raised to the bottom of the ocean after being engulfed by fire, in the Spanish horror classic Ghost Ships Of The Blind Dead (1974). An eerie image of the living dead, fatigued in full SS uniform, and oversized protective eye goggles adorning their countenance.

Seeking a way off the island, and pressing for answers as to the SS commanders past, the people from the boat are warned to stay away from the water, and to leave the island as soon as possible. Peter Cushing delivers a fine performance as a scarred former cog to the might of the Nazi wheels of war. He reveals his past and foretells of the impending attack upon them all by his creations. Describing them as the most vicious and blood thirsty of all of the SS divisions. His creations are a group of commandos designed specifically to acclimatise under water. The Death Corps are neither dead, nor alive, but somewhere in between. Towards the end of the second world war they were dropped into war zones and let loose upon the enemy, and anyone that was unfortunate enough to cross their path. With the war lost the SS commander sent his ship, and its cargo of Death Corps soldiers, to a watery grave at the bottom of the ocean. Now time has turned the tide and his progenies have reawakened from their watery internment, and their killer programming has not altered !.

The final third of the film is about survival against the re-emergent un-dead soldiers of death, and Peter Cushing’s time of atonement against his creations.

Shock Waves proves to be an effective horror that has not been diminished with the passing of time since its first release. A genuine cult piece that is deserving of being rediscovered by a modern audience. Refreshingly free of CGI, and needless excesses of blood and gore, yet simply and effectively resplendent in its consummate horror traditions.

Movie Rating: 7/10

Review by Paul Cooke / Source UK PAL Region 2 DVD

Shock Waves (1977)
Director Ken Wiederhorn

With Fred Buch, Brooke Adams, Peter Cushing,
Jack Davidson, Luke Halpin, D.J. Sidney,
Don Stout & John Carradine

Prior To War There Is ...

2011-06-02T22:49:00.003+01:00

The Final Sanction

(1990 / USA)

‘‘The American, he does not have a chance’’

What if the future of world wars were decided upon the confrontation between chosen participants, each representing the super powers of the planet, highly trained individuals conditioned to kill !?. The fate of democracy and free will would then lay in the outcome of … The Final Sanction !.

Prolific ‘B’ movie Action film making auteur David A. Prior directs his interpretational concept of war chess, in placing two combatants fighting against each other, winner takes all.

When the United States Of America and Russia launch nuclear missiles in pre-emptive strikes against each other it signals the gauntlet to spare two nations mass populations, a preamble to logical resolution of disagreement, and a practical solution to safeguarding the innocent. The two super powers arrange for a showdown, on a level playfield, in a neutral zone, between their chosen champions. A modern day equivalent of a duel. The winning combatant giving right of resolution to their governing heads of state.

Sergeant Tom Batanic, a disgraced special operations soldier, convicted criminal and incarcerated in a maximum security prison, is emancipated from his long term hell. With the opportunity to have all charges against him wiped clean Batanic takes up the mantle charged to him by his country. He is fast tracked into a full on training procedure to hone his already given talents. Army training and Batanic training, however, don’t actually see eye to eye. The former sergeant isn’t one for taking orders, but when set free from the shackles of bureaucratic pomp and procedure Batanic is a man of mass destruction !.

In the Russian Spetsnaz command camp their military leaders task Major Galashkin, played by the ubiquitous mighty bad assed villain William Smith, to evaluate, train, and psychologically hone their war readied beast, Sergeant Sergei Schvackov !. A man mountain of forward motion muscle, who’s perchance is a lethal throwing delivery of a sharp edged shovel like weapon. Robert Z’Dar is perfectly cast as the Spetsnaz version of Robocop, an unyielding force of unmitigated might, and a man with a bigger chin population than the whole of China !.

Schvackov is subjected to the most intensive physical and mental training schedule, isolated away in a dark and clinical low level facility away from the outside world. His one on one total fortification is engrained upon him by the unforgiving solidarity of William Smith’s superbly grizzled army major. Robert Z’Dar’s larger than life plastic action commando figure is breathed life into by Smith’s character, and once freed from the figurative plastic covered box containment he’s ready to turn his opponent into a disfigured Ken doll, and make Barbie look like a twisted version of Jackie Stallone.

The coming together of the two combatants upon the battle zone is high Action entertainment. Both machines of war let rip upon each other with guns, knives, brawn and bravado, but in the end it is the use of brain and tactical nouse that wins the day.

After throwing everything at each other, including brazen use of a bazooka, the two seasoned warriors gain respect for each other and come the end the result of the coming together is resolved in good old fashioned hand to hand, mano a mano combat. Both men aware that they are first and foremost soldiers, and not pawn representations of their governing puppet masters. They cut the strings of the insidious charade and fight for their own honour, each resolute in the satisfaction that may the best man win.

Big Fun Action outing from Director David A. Prior, with sound performances from his lead players. A very prophetic take on how future major disagreement outbreak may be resolved, but even with minimal loss of life will we ever be able to overcome the far greater reaching ramifications that still involve us all !?. Free your film Fun, drop such politics and pick up this ‘B’ movie Prior‘ity’. Now that’s a Final Sanction !.

Movie Rating: 6/10

Review by Paul Cooke / Source Japanese NTSC VHS

The Final Sanction (1990)
Director David A. Prior
With Ted Prior, Robert Z’Dar, Renee Cline,
David Crawford & William Smith

Death Stalker's Devastating Form In ...

2011-05-31T04:03:00.003+01:00

The Destroyers

(1986/Philippines)

‘‘Now let’s kill some sons of bitches’’

Vietnam war veteran Deacon Porter (Rick Hill) receives a telephone call from the wife of a friend, and fellow ‘Nam war buddy, informing of his death in a car accident. The grieving wife tells Porter that she believes it was murder !.

In a back hills Californian town crooked business man John Carey operates a marijuana trade. The surrounding lands are the perfect plantation spot for cultivation of the illegal substance, and with the local police sheriff on his payroll Carey’s production schedule is in full force.

Carey has a large stable of armed men under his leadership, all tasked with keeping the marijuana fields guarded at any cost. Trespassers aren’t just frightened off, they are hunted down and killed !. Anyone that may directly attract attention to them meets with a more subtle form of accidental death. Deacon Porter’s ‘Nam buddy uncovered the operation, and his transgression led to Carey staging his death to look like it was accidental.

Porter drives into the same town to ask questions about his friend. Word of his investigations soon reach Carey and it is not long before he too is set upon by the drug barons goons. Beaten, bloodied, shot and then having his car forced off the road by pursuit vehicles, careening into a ditch and exploding into a plume of flames, Porter just about gets out in time. Believed dead, and so not attracting any more concern from the aggressor Carey, he retreats back home to dress his wounds and formulate a plan of retaliation.

Anther ex ‘Nam war friend, and explosives expert, comes to Porter’s aid, offering his assistance in bringing the war to John Carey and his illicit operation. Whilst Porter rejuvenates, and forms a plan of action, his good buddy sets about calling upon a couple of former Vietnam war brothers in arms. Weapons and tactics soldiers, still alert of mind, and fleet of foot and fist. Bringing together a formidable small strike force of four Deacon Porter, and his three dogs of war, return to the backwoods Californian town to serve notice of hostile intent upon Carey !.

Guns, grenade launchers and plenty of explosive devices, bring proceedings into the high octane Action percentage column in the final third of the movie. Vietnam vets against drug running animals. The only way for Porter and his men to cull the rabid beasts is to put them down. Outnumbered, but out smarting such overwhelming odds, the battle seasoned pros bring a war to Carey that raises all hell, and his Marijuana operation to the ground.

Rick Hill steps out of ye old world Deathstalker (1982) mode, and muscles right on into modern Action hero mould pretty seamlessly. Crofton Hardester plays the mean spirited and avarice hungering bad guy role of John Carey well enough, ably assisted by Cirio H. Santiago recognisable regulars Nick Nicholson and Don Gordon Bell, amongst others, as his heavy handed henchmen.

Left to team Porter the bad baggage gets taken down, toe tagged and sent packing care of lethal Vietcong man traps and bad ass bravado. The Destroyers is a low budget, high value Action fest that delivers the goods.

Movie Rating: 6/10

Review by Paul Cooke / Source Japanese NTSC VHS

The Destroyers (1986)
Director Cirio H. Santiago
With Rick Hill, Katt Shea, Crofton Hardester,
Kaz Garas, Terrence O’Hara & Bill McLaughlin

Japanese VHS / DVD Deals On Ebay ...

2011-05-23T20:51:00.001+01:00

Ebay Auction Listings

May 2011

Gargantuan Japanese goodies abound on the 'Bay. Back with more Bruno Mattei Hut Annihilation's with Strike Commando 2, starring Brent Huff & Richard Harris, and Born To Fight, again with Brent Huff this time squaring up to Werner Pochath.

Throw in some Cannibals from Jess Franco, mix up with Luigi Cozzi's Contamination, while spicing up with some icky gooiness in Breeders & a Creature feature aka Titan Find, in a glorious Wide Screen print, with Klaus Kinski, and there's a whole heap of Action, Sci-Fi, Carniverous capers to feast thine eye's upon.

In with the Japanese Tapes this time out is a very nice Japanese DVD Original of Franco Prosperi's The Last House On The Beach. This infamous grisly home invasion thriller stars Florinda Bolkan & Ray Lovelock. This is an Unopened, unplayed Japanese DVD Original in its proper aspect ratio & Uncut. Very, Very Nice collectable.

Pre Lord Of The Rings raw talent Peter Jackson's Braindead aka Dead Alive explodes onto the 'Bay here with a double, reversable Big Fun graphic insert art card. Roger Corman's awesome Forbidden World, big horror Fun with Dead Heat & there's even some horror schlock from Fred Olen Ray with Biohazard !. Rounded all off nicely with a vibrant metal effect insert cover art for William Lustig's Bruce Campbell featured Maniac Cop.

Please do check out all these first time listings from me over at Ebay now.

As always the copy cover inserts as displayed below, and as shown on Ebay, are scans of the actual VHS / DVD covers themselves, from the items offered for sale.

Thank you for checking out the Auctions & thank you to anyone taking the time and trouble to consider or make a winning bid.

Happy viewing & hoping these go to good homes.

Thank you

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270752502041&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270752488663&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT

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http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270752498279&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270752471588&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270753213451&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT

Cirio H. Santiago's Post Nuke Carnage ...

2011-05-13T21:32:00.000+01:00

Wheels Of Fire

(1985/USA/Philippines)

In a post apocalyptic future, where fuel is precious, those that rule the roads set the rules. A despotic bandit known as Scourge terrorises the desolate landscape, taking what he wants from those that stray from the protective umbrella of the last remnants of societies liberal governors. With a small army of barbaric men at his command there is little resistance left to oppose his reign of terror, and high on his agenda is illicit regulation of the regions fuel reserves. The fight for the future rests with Mad Max makeover macho man Trace (Gary Watkins), and a gutsy gung ho girl named Stinger (Laura Banks), to stand up to the Scourge and bring hope to a post nuke nightmare !.

A Filipino filmed fuel injected futuristic flick, made on a micro budget for Roger Corman’s Concorde Pictures production company. Polish is applied to proceedings by director Cirio H. Santiago, who knows how to deliver Action entertainment. Ably squeezing all the thrills and spills, along with mighty explosions and car stunt arrangements, into his predominantly exterior locations shot frames.

Tough guy Trace looks out for himself and his own, avoiding unnecessary run ins with the Scourge and his anarchic army of followers. That self imposed law is revoked when Trace’s sister Arlie (Lynda Weismeier) is chased down, beaten, raped and taken captive by the lawless lackeys of the Scourge. Trace weapons up and revs up his super charged super car, engaged for Action and hell bent on getting his sister back !.

The desert backdrop landscape is the perfect canvas for Cirio H. Santiago to adorn his Action laden picture with multitudes of speeding motorcycles and automobiles, racing around, smashing and crashing all over the place. Trace tears up his tires in relentless pursuit of Scourge’s hideout, and in his destructive wake he gives aid to a female soldier of fortune, caught in the crossfire of a Scourge attack. Together they take out the trash, and Trace has a new ally in the shape of Stinger (Laura Banks), one tough tigress of a girl who it just so happens also has a score to settle with the Scourge.

It’s an inevitability that Trace and Stinger will come face to face with Scourge, and in that respect the Action filled finale does not disappoint. Their journey together on route throws up a few tricky encounters along the way, including a run in with an underground race of flesh eating beings known as The Sandmen. Pulled into the caverns of The Sandmen, beneath the surface of the shifting sands, Trace and Stinger have to fight their way out against a daylight affected race akin to the Morlocks from The Time Machine (1960). Here they meet and rescue a young woman named Spike, a feisty girl who can look out for herself and who also has the gift of E.S.P. Her ability to read thoughts proves invaluable and immediately gives her and her two new friends the advantage they need to make good their escape from the frenzied cannibals !.

Plenty of gun Action, fist fights and pretty well staged car chase sequences, and crash stunts, keep viewers nicely preoccupied with what is front and centre, cleverly detracting from what is otherwise a flimsy script and bare bones set up. It is easy to forgive any shortfalls here though as Wheels Of Fire never once pretends to be anything other than what it is, and that is low budget ‘B’ movie hokum, with an accentuation on Action. A bare bones, bare breasted, bare knuckle ride along the highway to hell, in a post apocalyptic world where each new day is a fight for survival !.

Movie Rating: 2.5/5

Review by Paul Cooke / Source Japanese NTSC VHS

Wheels Of Fire (1985)

Director Cirio H. Santiago
With Gary Watkins, Laura Banks, Lynda Weismeier,
Linda Grovenor & Joe Mari Avellana

The Horror Of Scream Queen Quigley ...

2011-05-03T16:47:00.003+01:00

Treasure Of The Moon Goddess

(1987 / USA / Mexico)

‘‘Tell the monkey to back off’’

American / Mexican jungle Action adventure production that tries to emulate the style of the Eighties made Euro flicks. Four adventurers and two Mexican bandits become embroiled in the acquirement of a legendary treasure. Deep within the South American jungle lives a hidden tribe, who worship the memory of their goddess, and protect their idols fabulous riches of jewels in her honour. Word of the tribe and their capacious cache has leaked to the outside world, bringing deceit and treachery to the natives harmonious sanctuary, in the form of the avaricious Mr. Diaz !.

Harold Grand (Don Calfa) is a talent manager who runs up bad debt and is beholden to Mr. Diaz. On his talent books is rock singer Lu De Belle (Linnea Quigley), an attractive blonde star in the making. In order for Harold Grand to pay off his tab Mr. Diaz tells him to hand over Lu De Belle to him. Unbeknownst to Grand is that Lu is the personification of the Moon Goddess, and with her in his possession Mr. Diaz intends to trick the hidden South American tribe out of their treasure.

Both Harold and Lu set off with instruction to meet Mr. Diaz at a remote destination. They hire a small boat owned by Sam Kid (Asher Brauner) and his attractive partner Brandy (Jo Ann Ayres), in order to best get to the location given. On route they are set upon by another boat, filled with marauding Mexican bandits, out to abduct Lu De Belle. Sam Kid is not one to be unprepared for any situation and fends off the attempt with gun power. He and his small compliment are way outnumbered however. The barrage of bullets and heavier fire power takes its toll upon Sam’s boat and all abandon ship just in time before it blows up.

Sam Kid, Brandy and their two new acquaintances swim to shore and make their way through the coastal jungle to an inland ramshackle town. They barely have time to catch their breath before Mr. Diaz sends his goons out to collect his prize in the form of Lu. Sam springs into Action man hero mode and its not long before fisticuffs and a bar fight, with a snake pit, breaks out.

It’s almost like The Perils Of Pauline (1967) for poor Lu as she is sought after not only by Mr. Diaz but it turns out that the Mexican bandits were acting at the behest of their boss, who just so happens to be the cousin of Mr. Diaz, whom just so happens to be on to his relatives scurrilous intensions.

An inept attempt at blending humour with Action, along the lines of a bargain basement Indiana Jones adventure, all too often falls flat. The script would have been far better handled by Italian 'B' movie maestro Bruno Mattei, who undoubtedly would have livened things up and had Brent Huff in the lead, chewing up the scenery and delivering the one liners as only he could.

There are a few entertaining Action escapades, but sadly they are all too short and ultimately unconvincing. With a tribe of South American natives about as threatening as vegetarian cannibals there really is little to get your teeth into. The absurdity upon revealing the true connection between Mr. Diaz and the tribe is about as glib as it gets. If you can stick with this until the test of strength within the sacred temple, where at least some Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981) traps liven things up a bit, then you’ll make it through till the let’s leave this open for a sequel ending.

Treasure Of The Moon Goddess really is a bottom of the bargain bin pick up only, and not the rough diamond hoped for. This type of Action adventure movie is best laid at the door of big budgeted Hollywood blockbusters, and the far more accomplished low budget genius of the Euro Action film makers from the same decade.

Movie Rating: 1/5

Review by Paul Cooke / Source Japanese NTSC VHS

Treasure Of The Moon Goddess (1987)

Director Joseph Louis Graz
With Asher Brauner, Don Calfa,
Jo Ann Ayres & Linnea Quigley

Rutger Hauer Hitches A Hit ...

2011-04-21T00:01:00.012+01:00

Hobo With A Shotgun

(2011/USA)

‘‘Put the knife away kid, or I’ll use it to cut welfare

cheques from your rotten skin’’

Once he was a Hitcher, now he’s a ‘hit and gun’ hobo. Rutger Hauer wipes crime from the street like a bidet blasting bowels !. He may appear a down and out homeless bum, but he’s no asshole. The true rim raiders and scumbags of the streets are the scourge of the state, and this hobo has seen enough. It’s time to take up a shot gun, pump, dump and flush the crap right out of the city !.

Drake (Brian Downey) is the villain of the piece, who along with his two petulant post teen nephews, Slick and Ivan, rule the urban city landscape with dope, prostitution and violence. Life is cheap to them and the people are mere cattle to prod, preen and slaughter as they see fit. Torture is but an entrée to the surf and turf slaughter main dish they relish, with free flowing blood !.

The hobo ambles into the city, having free ridden the livestock carriage of the connecting state train, looking for shelter and to scour about for enough loose change to afford himself the dollars he requires to purchase a sturdy old lawn mower. His focus in his latter years is to start his own lawn cutting business. There’s only one kind of grass that’s cut in this city though, and that’s the kind the Drake supplies !.

Witnessing first hand the excessive force and brutality that Slick and Ivan dish out, all with the approval and encouragement of uncle Drake, the hobo takes a stand when the life of a bright young prostitute is threatened by Slick. The hobo sees good in her and convinces himself that given the chance to escape her lifestyle she could be a teacher. He saves her from the thuggish punk and turns to the cops for help. It is here that the diabolical reality of the city’s situation reveals itself to the well intentioned and decent homeless hobo. Low life criminal scum doesn’t just regulate the streets, it owns the police force that is supposed to protect them !.

Receiving his harsh reality check at the end of a fist, and painfully etched deep into his chest with a blade, both courtesy of Slick, Rutger Hauer’s character takes a stand against the scourge and becomes a … Hobo With A Shotgun !.

The intentional Grind House groove runs rampant in over the top, often excessive violence, splashed across the screen in a crimson cauldron of transgressed trash. The intent is clear, to be as outlandish and over the top as is distastefully possible, highlighted by, the thankfully not shown, but none the less carried out and left to run the gauntlet of gruesomeness across the imagination of those viewing, the sick asphyxiation of a group of school kids on a bus by Slick burning them to death with a flame thrower !. There are certain boundaries that should not be crossed, and even in the blackest vein of shock horror humour this is not a cinematic moment to condone. The only gratification coming out of this unpleasant apparition is the aptly applied last rites of passage to hell epitaph, deftly applied to Slick by the hobo.

The blood, guts and violence otherwise is suitably over the top silliness, and the joy at delighting in Rutger Hauer taking out the trash, shot gun in hand and grizzled dialogue, delivered with vitriolic disdain at those deserving, is nothing short of bad assed inspirational. Hauer owns this role, and effortlessly shows pretty much every other actor up for the minimum wage stooges they portray. Friends, and likely family members of the film makers do not good actors make, even in a low budget production hiding behind its intentions at recreating a genre style where this once upon a time was overlooked. Watching and listening to the character of Slick is akin to experiencing the excellent Jon Cryer recreating his role, today, of Duckie, from Pretty In Pink (1986), but as Tony Montana in Scarface (1983). Please, let’s not have to say hello to this little friend of the film makers again !.

Stand out sequence of the movie without a doubt is when Drake deploys two of the crime worlds most lethal dispensers of pain and death, The Plague. Brothers of botulism, belched forth from the brine and brimstone of Beelzebub’s hellish boudoir. Their onslaught through a hospital in search of the hobo, kitted out as they are in full sheet metal attire, replete with forged eye slit hole helmets and spiked gauntlets, is nothing short of biblical. Like horsemen of the apocalypse, arriving astride their steel steed motorcycles, their passage of pain is surely written somewhere within the text of the book of revelations !.

Gregarious gruel slaps itself across the screen like a visceral Salvador Dali, ladled upon his canvas with a pallet of blood. A nightmarish vision of a world gone to hell, with only the evocation of Charles Bronson, brandishing a shotgun, standing at those gates with both barrels loaded, and pointed directly at Satan’s nut sack !. Major league movie making it ain’t, but balls to the wall grind house experience, it sure as all heck delivers a pretty darned good representation of.

Movie Rating: 6/10

Review by Paul Cooke / Source V.O.D

Hobo With A Shotgun (2011)
Director Jason Eisener
With Rutger Hauer, Molly Dunsworth, Gregory Smith,
Nick Bateman, Robb Wells & Brian Downey

Ebay VHS Extravoganza ...

2011-04-02T20:09:00.001+01:00

EXPLOSIVE EBAY AUCTIONS

April

Time for an April shower of Video Tape goodness up on over at the 'Bay. Seventies Crime Action nestling right on next to more groovy greatness from those industrious Italians in the Eighties, right on through to some outlandish independent Zombie horror gore in the Nineties.

A veritable smorgasbord of Greek, UK and Japanese VHS Tapes to choose from.

Highlights this time out include Euro Crime MUST HAVES Mark The Narc & Mark Strikes Again, both Directed by the awesome Action stunt coordinator Stelvio Massi, and starring the very cool Franco Gasparri.

Hot on the tail fender of these comes Director Alberto De Martino's awesome mid seventies crime Actioner Blazing Magnum. Starring Stuart Whitman, John Saxon, Martin Landau & Tisa Farrow. This one features one of the very best car chase sequences in movie history. Franco Nero heads up the star roster in Director Enzo G Castellari's fast and furious vigilante outing Street Law, and there is a very nice Full Wide Screen LTBX presentation on a UK PAL VHS for The New Godfathers, which is a pre certification beauty.

There's a Jess Franco cannibal caper rarity in his take on the genre with White Cannibal Queen. Featuring gore feature actor greats Al Cliver & Sabrina Siani, along with Franco regular Lina Romay.

The Zombie outings come in the shape of the very hard to acquire, and ridiculously expensive to buy through the regular outlets, Todd Sheets first two outings in his Zombie Bloodbath trilogy & another rarity, equally as scarce to come by on VHS today Zombie Cult Massacre. Plenty of gore and Zombie silliness all round in these releases. All three of these are pretty much as new. I purchased them from new many years ago & have literally watched each tape just the once. These VHS Tapes & Containers are in near mint condition.

Please do check them all out, along with many others currently up for offer, and hopefully grab yourselves a real rarity at a good price. Thanks as always to all who take the time and trouble to check my Ebay Auctions out & my sincere gratitude to all who become winning bidders.

Happy viewing & happier bidding

Thank you

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Filippino Post Nuke Pretender ...

2011-03-27T21:03:00.010+01:00

W is War

(1983/Philippines)

‘‘With or without a badge I’ll find a way’’

Filippino Action fury with an anachronistic feel of a futuristic post apocalyptic movie, yet set in its contemporary time line of production in the early Eighties !?. A bizarre combination of Mad Max (1979) and The Warriors (1979).

Law enforcer Sergeant W2 heads up his team of fellow enforcers against the scourge of Asia. Their greatest concern is the ever burgeoning manufacturing and distribution of drugs. The continents largest cartel is The End Of The World Organisation, and they have a centre of operations right on Sergeant W2’s patch. Headed up by the garish, fanatical Jim Jones type guru, Nosfero, and his legion of loyal acolytes. A small army of shaven headed thugs, garbed in minimalist fetish leather, bonded together like a futuristic variant of the Hell’s Angel’s. Nosfero leads them with a iron grip and the steely facial intensity of Jack Palance, set apart from his bald followers by a side set pigtail and one mean manicured uni-brow !.

Sergeant W2 and two of his men get into a scrape with a rowdy bunch of Nosfero’s men outside of a club. When a knife is pulled W2 instinctively reacts by pulling out his gun. In the line of duty, and deemed in self defence, W2 shoots and kills his attacker, the brother of Nosfero !. Back at enforcer HQ W2’s superior officer informs him that he is suspended from duty, and told to take some time off. Whilst away W2 marries his sweetheart, but during their honeymoon period W2 is attacked by Nosfero’s men in an act of retribution. W2 is beaten and eternally branded by an act of castration upon his person !.

W2 is a broken man, and with no job, and a wife he can no longer satisfy, he fully channels his frustrations towards Nosfero and his illegal operations. As a renegade though he is outnumbered and outclassed. Falling into the hands of Nosfero once again W2 is tortured and made an example of. Coming to W2’s aid is a female member of the Nosfero cult, a reluctant submissive soldier seeking a way out, she frees W2, and together they formulate a way to strike at the heart of Nosfero and The End Of The World Organisation’s operations.

Even in castrated form W2 has the balls to bring down the rebel force, but not with a solo hand, as his loyal enforcers become his wing men once more, and aided by his new found princess this alliance is readied to bring Nosfero’s evil empire down !. W is war up against Nosfero’s camp clan of Frankie Goes To Hollywood look alike bandits, and what is it good for ?, absolutely nothing but big bang, all out explosive fun for the finale.

The closure is the meat and two veg of the piece that W2 longs for, and gets with the assistance of his trusted cohorts, and a customised assault vehicle that is most definitely straight out of a Euro Post Nuke movie from the Eighties. Armour plated and replete with weapons of mass destruction. W is war for sure at this juncture, and raises the films fun factor several notches. Three wheeled super charged motorbike riding villains against the Philippines version of Mad Max, in an off road warrior warpath of wanton death and destruction. Deliriously delivered ‘Pines on toast whole hearted ‘B’ movie goodness.

Movie Rating: 5/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source Japanese NTSC VHS

W is War (1983)
Directed by Willie Milan
With Anthony Alonzo, Paul Vance,
Joonee Gamboa, Alicia Alonzo & Ada Hubert

Norwegian Wood Or Limp Horror ? ...

2011-03-23T23:13:00.002Z

Fritt Vilt III

aka Cold Prey 3

(Norway/2010)

Luke warm prequel to the impressive original movie, and its equally thrilling sequel. The Fritt Vilt franchise sees the emotionless killing machines inception. Its tale of the young boy believed lost in the wilderness of the snow laden landscape in Jotunheimen, Norway, reveals what really happened, and then sets up the storyline leading into Fritt Vilt.

Ten years or so later we are introduced to six early twenty something’s taking a hiking trip to the Jotunheimen region during the Eighties. It is springtime and so getting to the closed down hotel resort setting for the first movies is easier, although the region is just as remote. The local police enforcer gives the group of friends a ride as far as he can in his land rover. He drops them off and promises to be at the same place to pick them up a couple of days later. Time enough for them to enjoy the benefits of outdoor living. It’s not too long, however, before they are dieing to get away from it !.

The killer is on the lose in the wooded region and there is nothing more agreeable than a bunch of young town folk meandering around acting stupid. Stalking, chasing and a heap of slashing and stabbings follow, all done in pretty graphic style. Picture Michael Myers let loose in natures back garden, even the wildlife begin to believe in Halloween !.

This is the third director in the series, and although it is accepted that there has to be a whole new cast, the characters and actors are not as accomplished as the very polished original. Although Fritt Vilt II also had a new director in Mats Stenberg, he pretty much stuck to the formula, so perfectly sculpted by Roar Uthaug directing Fritt Vilt, that the film had an almost seamless continuation. With Fritt Vilt III it all pretty much is formulaic stalk and slash, young people in peril territory. Enjoyable enough, but you just want the running duration to play through its obvious course as swiftly as possible. Knowing that the protagonist is not going to be bested, and that it is inevitable that everyone else will die, doesn’t leave much to keep suspense or surprise going for the viewer.

To its advantage the movie has the same green / brown hue to it that made the first two ventures look so very authentic. Adding credence to the fact that the movies are set twenty to thirty years ago, and delivering that feel of a slightly faded old style photograph. Perfect for the feel and texture of the movie. What is seriously undervalued here though is the effectiveness and importance the part of the snow white blanket scenario, and the ice cold conditions had to play in making parts one and two so very, very integral to the enjoy ability of the films.

Perhaps Fritt Vilt III is best then viewed first by anyone interested in seeing the series for the first time, but for those who have revelled in the delights of the originals this outing is a tame affair and is unlikely to be revisited by true followers of parts one and two. Buy Fritt Vilt, and Fritt Vilt II and treasure in your film collection, but rent and watch Fritt Vilt III if you really want to visualise the back story, which in truth is best left to the creepy imagination and inferences made in the original films. This third Cold Prey is far from the icing on the Norwegian movie landscape, and one you can a ‘fjord’ to miss !.

Movie Rating: 5/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source PAL Region 2 DVD

Fritt Vilt III (2010)

Director Mikkel Brænne Sandemose
With Ida Marie Bakkerud, Kim S. Falck-Jørgensen,
Pål Stokka, Julie Rusti, Arthur Berning, Sterla Rui,
Endre Hellestveit, Terje Ranes & Nils Johnson

Early Easter Ebay VHS Goodness ...

2011-03-18T07:58:00.003Z

First and foremost on behalf of myself, and I'm sure all who stop by here at Ballistic Blood Bullets, may I say that our thoughts and prayers go out to Japan, and all its people, at this time of alarming devastation and distressing tragedy.

Ebay Auctions

March 2011

It's that time of year when Easter is almost upon us and the Ballistic Blood Bullets Bunny is hopping around collecting up a whole basketful of Japanese Video Goodies to be gobbled up right now over on up at Ebay.

Star of the goodness up for grabs this month is without question the gory kick ass caveman classic Master Of The World. Euro Italian produced prehistoric gruel where the only rules were those of survival. This particular tape on offer is in Superb condition both in Excellent quality of print, in a Fabulous Wide Screen ratio, and complete with a clean and typically cool Japanese insert. The Japanese tapes are pretty much always the standard bearers when it comes to quality, but this particular release is in all my time of collecting one of the finest issues ever, without question. Master Of The World is a Must Have.

Familiar Eighties goodness also abounds with the delights of Luigi Cozzi's classic chunk blower, and body exploding Sci-Fi schlocker Contamination aka Alien Contamination, Antonio Margheriti's monster from the sea Actioner Alien From The Deep, and the low budget, but big bang for your bucks Alien (1979) cash in Italian rip Alien 2 Sulla Terra.

A massive favourite from the Post Apocalyptic cycle of Eighties Euro Action greatness from the prolific Italian production stable is 2019: After The Fall Of New York. The Michael Sopkiw and George Eastman starer from Director Sergio Martino under the pseudonym of Martin Dolman. You'd have to be a Big Ape to have missed out on this one.

Infamous Cannibal jungle gut muncher Make Them Die Slowly aka Cannibal Ferox eagerly awaits to be gobbled up by a collector looking for something to satisfy their hunger for this particularly grizzly genre.

Lucio Fulci's late Eighties entry Sodoma's Ghosts is relatively hard to come by and worth checking out, but please be aware that this particular Japanese VHS release is in its original Italian language only with the usual small Japanese subtitles. There is no English dubbing nor English subtitles with this one.

Cruel Jaws awaits a keen collector of Jaws (1976) inspired shark attack goodness. A pretty decent outing from 'B' movie king of the Italian Xerox greatness himself Bruno Mattei. Definitely one to sink your teeth into, so please dive in early to secure, before someone else bites your hand off to get it !.

Once again, all insert art covers displayed are of the actual VHS Tape that you will be purchasing.

Thanks to anyone, and everyone who takes the time to check out my Ebay Auctions, and a huge thank you in advance to any that make a purchase. The very best of luck in bidding. Thank you.

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SyFy Opens Hanger 18 ...

2011-03-04T23:44:00.004Z

Area 51

(2011 / USA)

‘‘I want this to go quickly, and cleanly’’

When the government, under continued pressure, gives in to allow strictly monitored visitor access to Hanger 18 in Area 51, what has lain secret for decades takes a fancy to its ‘Alien’ visitation.

Reporter Sam Whitaker (John Shea), and highly watched news blog investigator Claire Fallon (Vanessa Branch), are allowed chaperoned access to Area 51, along with their personal photographer and camera woman, to take notes and ask questions on a specially arranged guided tour. Once the doors open the floodgates soon spill forth far more than any of them could have ever imagined for, beyond their wildest expectations !.

Base leader Colonel Ronald Martin (Bruce Boxleitner), of the U.S Air Force, takes the reporter quartet on the suitably arranged show and not so much tell walk through the infamous Hanger 18. Global spy devices and prototype weapons are discussed and shown off, whilst anticipated talk of any alien activity and captivity is dismissed by the military man.

In a lower level of the base scientists and security go about their regular daily routines, including of course interacting with the actual alien life forms that do indeed reside, and in many cases are actually restrained in high security isolation. On this particular day, however, things do not go schedule. Alien Patient Zero, a shape shifting entity able to adopt and mimic the physiology and characteristics of whatever living thing it comes into contact with, chooses this very day, after twenty five years of passive stability, to escape its cell and wreak havoc throughout the base.

The internal alarm is raised and lockdown is instigated. It isn’t just Patient Zero that Colonel Martin and his men have to concern themselves with, but the escape of some other alien entities, far less intelligent than Patient Zero, and with a violent temperament and hunger for flesh !.

What excels, to the movies great credit, is its non reliance on any overly apparent CGI, and indeed some good old fashioned cool looking men in monster suits. Gore splattering, sinew snapping, blood spurting schlock horror galore ensues in this very well made, better budgeted than usual, SyFy Channel outing. Sure it borrows heavily from a multitude of Sci-Fi, horror themes and movies, but does so with an enjoyable spring in its step. Military fatigued soldiers issued with regulation weapons and perimeter scanning devices is straight out of Aliens (1986), but it’s a well used staple that pretty much succeeds every time, and this is no exception.

There is some alien folklore titbits amongst the mix to look out for, and indeed smile at their introduction, such as the introduction of Hanger 18’s resident friendly alien J-Rod, working with the military on a way to return home since crash landing here in the desert back in the fifties !. A highly intelligent being who’s understanding of the entity Patient Zero assists Colonel Martin is invaluable. Along with the four guest visitors to the base they have to work together to stay alive, and find a way to bring order back to the facility.

With the nastier alien variants escaping from the lower levels, up and out to the topside facility, it lays with the brave last line of military defence to go head to tail with them. Guns and gore galore as aliens and soldiers go out on a limb to take each other out !. Pretty impressive stuff then for a made for television syndication movie, and most worthy of any sci-fi, horror, action loving fans attention.

Movie Rating: 6/10

Review by Paul Cooke / Source SyFy Channel

Area 51 (2011)

Director Jason Connery
With Bruce Boxleitner, Jason London, John Shea,
Vanessa Branch & Rachel Miner

Xmas Fear From Finland ...

2011-02-25T23:15:00.003Z

Rare Exports

(2010 Finland / Norway / France / Sweden)

‘‘The real Santa was a bit different, the Coca Cola Santa is a fraud’’

Jingle bells Santa smells, his body rotting away, Rudolph’s left and the elves bereft, since Santa got buried, along with his sleigh … but now he’s been dug up, and this Christmas ‘Yule’ all pay !.

A festive frivolity of fearsome Christmas chills from Finland as the legend of yore in the shape of the original Santa Claus returns. Old books tell of the terrible tales of Santa as a child beating ogre. A young boy named Pietan is sure that on the eve of Christmas day this terrible Santa is coming to town !.

A business man has a professional drill team excavating the Korvatunturi mountain in Finland. They drill down thirteen hundred feet and hit a sixty five foot thick embodiment of sawdust !. It is here that legend has it that the Saami people of Lapland centuries before created the biggest burial mound in the world. Imprisoned within the mountain burial mound it is said is this evil and original Santa Claus !.

Christmas eve, and in the valley afoot the mountain the local farmers prepare their annual round up of the indigenous reindeer. A major part of their continued resource to survive with the lifestyle they are dependant upon in the region. Disaster awaits them this day, however, as the valley beneath the mountain is strewn with the dead carcass’s of the reindeer !.

With their livelihood’s severely jeopardised by the discovery several of the locals traverse up the mountain to seek answers from the team of foreigners. What they discover is a derelict site, no sign of life at all, and one massive hole burrowing down deep within the mountain. Something was discovered, disturbed and released from its entombment !.

That very night Pietan’s father’s wolf pit trap claims an inquisitive catch. Early in the morning the impaled body of a still twitching spindly old bearded man is retrieved. With the help of a neighbour the man is watched over in the slaughter house barn of the farmer. Pietan believes that his father has captured Santa. The boy has also discovered that all of the towns children have mysteriously gone missing. Upon seeing Pietan the old man reacts curiously and visibly appears to be recuperating from his life threatening injuries. Whoever, or whatever this old man is becomes cause for great concern.

Pietan’s father, along with two friends manage to contact the business man and set up a trade for ‘Santa’ in payment for their combined losses with the slaughter of their reindeer herd. The exchange is set up, but it is within the hour before Christmas day itself, and what the anxious men have in their possession turns out to be not quite what they had expected after all, and the worst was about to befall them all !.

Time to measure whether they have been naughty or nice and come to fully realise just how many little helpers Santa actually has, particularly in his hour of need !.

All aboard then for a winters tale of terror. A fine slice of darkly delicious Finnish humour that is sure to ‘sleigh’ you. Big fun from an independent venture that stands more than a snowballs chance in hell at sitting atop the tree of film goodness. A wickedly wry take on the twisted tale of ye old Santa, torn straight from the stuff of childhood nightmares. The cinematography of the beautiful white snow laden environment is spectacular, and the stark landscape and insular people make the unleashing of a fearful apparition all the more believable. Very well rendered effects and a straight laced cast of real people more than compliment this accomplished feature. Santa’s entourage of elves never looked so evil.

Rounded up, and rounded off, come completion, the movie’s vein of deliciously dark humour spills on over into an aptly wry epilogue. A perfectly applicable manner for such Rare Exports to, ‘Finnish’.

Movie Rating: 7/10

Review by Paul Cooke

Rare Exports (2010)

Director Jalmari Helander
With Onni Tommila, Jorma Tommila, Tommi Korpela,
Rauno Juvonen, Per Christian Ellefsen,
Ilmari Järvenpää & Peeter Jakobi

Japanese VHS Delights Up On Ebay

2011-02-14T17:09:00.001Z

EBAY AUCTIONS

February (III) 2011

Welcome one and all to my third entry for February of all things bright and beautiful available on Japanese Original VHS Tapes, now listed up on over at Ebay.

Another Great selection of Japanese VHS Goodies, including several nicely original formatted Wide Screen presentations. British Action star Lewis Collins heads up another great Euro cast of familiar faces, all under the brilliance of Italian Director Antonio Margheriti, in the Jungle Action power house Commando Leopard. Available here in its Full 2:35:1 frame !.

Amongst the cache up for auction is the highly sought after Action / Sci-Fi juggernaut starring Franco Nero, Top Line, available in wonderful Wide Screen. Also offered in Wide Screen here is the very rare Code Name Flash. Again available here in a fantastic Wide Screen presentation. Speaking of Rare, up for Auction also is Above The War aka Search And Destroy. An Action packed mercenary jungle warfare assault movie so rare that the IMDB have no mention of it !.

Do check out the Euro Cult Rambo hybrid that is Thunder 2, starring Mark Gregory and Directed by Fabrizio De Angelis. A fantastic Wide Screen presentation here also, and it looks terrific.

Dangerous Seductress offers up not just a great Wide Screen presentation but the opportunity to acquire this hard to come by tape Fully Uncut, all the gore and naked flesh as intended. The DVD release is censored !. This Japanese Original VHS is completely UNCUT and Uncensored as should be.

A REAL MUST HAVE !.

Covert Action, Reviewed here at Ballistic Blood Bullets, is a great example of a late entry in the Euro Crime genre and with a cast that includes Maurizio Merli, Corinne Clery, Arthur Kennedy & Ivan Rassimov you really cannot go wrong in claiming this title for your personal collection.

Lots of other Great Euro Action titles available and very much worth your consideration, all Exploding over at Ebay right now.

Thanks for looking, and once again the very best of luck to any and all who may place a bid.

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Fugitive In From The Cold ...

2011-02-12T18:09:00.003Z

Covert Action

aka Sono stato un agente C.I.A.

(1978 / Italy / Greece)

‘‘Stick to fiction, you’ll live longer’’

An expose tape implicating the C.I.A in world military take over’s is in the possession of one of the C.I.A’s very own, and the organisation want it, and him eradicated !.

Former C.I.A operative Lester Horton (David Janssen) is in Athens, Greece holidaying. His presence, and photography sessions, in and around the city are a cause for concern from the stationed C.I.A Chief Maxwell (Arthur Kennedy). Maxwell and Horton have a history, and the former would rather that the retired C.I.A agent were literally, no longer around !.

Government agent man John Benson has been murdered, but announced as having gone missing. He is the man responsible for the tape, implicating the C.I.A from high. Lester Horton is now a journalist and novelist, penning many a chapter and verse causing ripples. He is in fact in Greece to investigate the disappearance of Benson and uncover more about the tape. Maxwell suspects the same, and has his men tail him.

One lead has Horton cautiously approaching a man in a cinema, during the screening of a movie, but before he can ascertain any solid information the man is shot in the back from someone sitting a few rows behind. Horton’s brief interaction with the man leads him to a former friend during his active time in the C.I.A, Joe Florio (Maurizio Merli). Their friendship was tested when Florio’s wife Anne (Corinne Clery), and Horton became attracted to each other in the past.

Joe Florio is an operative on the edge of his usefulness with the C.I.A. He has been informed that he will be transferred back to America, but in reality the wheels are in motion for him to have a planned accident !. He has become an embarrassment to the agency, due to his dependency on heroin. Chief Maxwell has ordered that he be eliminated, as he is not good for the company reputation !.

Lester Horton wants to help his former friend, but both he and Florio together stir up too much heat for Maxwell, and both are overtly targeted. A fantastic car chase in Rhodes has Florio believing more in Horton, and news of the tape is shared with his former friend. Their mutual respect for each other ends in tragedy as the two are cornered in one of the cities historical outdoor amphitheatres. Chief Maxwell’s right hand problem solver known as The Silent, due to his inability to talk, administers a lethal overdose of heroin to Florio, as Horton is restrained and forced to watch. Ivan Rassimov plays the role of, The Silent with an icy calmness that is effectively chilling. His performance as the bad guy extension of Chief Maxwell is very well realised, and the inevitable cumulative run in with Lester Horton is an emotive one.

Chief Maxwell sanctions Horton to the insane asylum in his desire to get him to divulge information pertaining to the tape. Horton refuses to cooperate and is subjected to all of the indignities of the environment he has been placed in custody to, along with some horrendous applications by the doctors believing him to be of unstable mind. When Horton tries to escape from the institution he is subjected to electro shock treatment, which is actually difficult to watch !.

Anne Florio uses her charm and respected position to call in a favour from the local police inspector, played quite perfectly by Philippe Leroy. He is an honourable and incorruptible officer of the law and facilitates the release of Horton from the institution. He reunites with Anne, and together they hold up in her secluded second home. It affords Horton some time to recuperate, but both know that it is only a matter of time before Maxwell uncovers them.

For a late entry in the Euro crime stakes Covert Action is a very accomplished piece of work from Director Romolo Guerrieri. A stellar cast, all delivering strong performances, adds to the enjoy ability of the film. Maurizio Merli gets to portray a more vulnerable side to his acting skills, and David Janssen is perfectly cast as a man with a past he is fighting to disassociate himself from. Arthur Kennedy delivers a demonstrative characterisation of self assured unpleasantness, and Ivan Rassimov emits an aura of stoic menace throughout.

A well paced slice of Seventies Euro espionage and crime. One that does not play to the Hollywood stereotype of good versus evil, but displays the shades of grey in between. Not everyone gets all that is coming to them, delivering instead a rather sombre conclusion, but at the same time a suitably realistic one.

Movie Rating: 7/10

Review by Paul Cooke / Source Japanese NTSC VHS

Covert Action (1978)

Director Romolo Guerrieri
With David Janssen, Corrine Clery, Maurizio Merli,
Arthur Kennedy, Philippe Leroy & Ivan Rassimov

Eighties Action On Ebay ...

2011-02-08T14:10:00.000Z

EBAY AUCTIONS
February (II) 2011 

More Euro goodness on both the Greek and UK PAL VHS Format, eagerly seeking nice new homes to go to, popped up over on Ebay for your kind considerations.

Once again All of the movie insert covers shown here and on Ebay are scans of the actual video film inserts themselves. What you see is most definitely what you will get.

One of the Rarities listed is the Peter O'Brian Indonesian starer Rimba Panas aka Jungle Heat. Cannibals, gore, scantily clad jungle babe and all the usual zany Indonesian outrageousness you could wish for. From Director Ratno Timoer (Blind Warrior / The Devils Sword).

Wide screen goodness comes in the form of cool Post Nuke Actioner The Final Executioner, and this really is a very nicely formated proper wide screen cinema presentation, and a very good quality print once again for a Greek tape, and Tiger Joe in a marginal wide screen issue with David Warbeck in top form under the always reliable Direction of Antonio Margheriti.

Thanks once again to everyone kind enough to go out of their way to check my Auctions out. The very best of luck to any and all who may choose to place a bid. Thank you.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270703553261&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT

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Total Nonsense Angle ...

2011-02-06T13:35:00.002Z

River Of Darkness

(2010 / USA)

‘‘How are you going to fight demons from hell

when you don’t have God on your side !?’’

Stars from the world of wrestling entertainment step into the squared circle of film, in a match made in ‘B’ movie bad-ville. When a wronged family return from the dead, to take revenge upon their deceitful killers, the road to horror mania begins !.

In the small township of Cedar Springs Sheriff Will Logan (Kurt Angle) has a sudden spate of savage killings to investigate. First a young woman finishing her days shift at the diner is attacked, gutted, and strung up in a make shift style of crucifixion. A crude wooden board sign is left hung around her neck, written upon it is the word Hix. Other killings soon follow in equally brutal and bloody fashion. It seems that a trio of Cajun killers are on a murder spree. Big fish gutting hooks and axes are the tools of their trade.

Two night fishermen are butchered by the ghostly ghoul like killers, leaving them similarly marked with the branding of, Hix. Folk in Cedar Springs become very edgy, and when a local woman, dubbed Crazy Mary, breaks into the communal church, spouting off apocalyptic phrases and foretelling that ‘they’ have come back !, things start to get even darker.

Sheriff Logan seems to be not the most popular guy in his position of authority, but sets about his business with professionalism. He investigates the only lead he has, what in fact turns out to be a name, Hix. The locals don’t want to talk, but one older generation town stalwart imparts information that the id pertains to a man named Harvey Hix. It turns out that thirty years ago he, and a band of town folk vigilantes set upon, and killed three men unwelcome in the community. The Jacobs boys and their father kept themselves to themselves but were deemed lowlife vagrants and no good riff raff, unwelcome in Cedar Springs. When they failed to move on a local girl accuses one of the Jacobs boys of raping her. The falsehood leads Harvey Hix and his vigilantes to take justice into their own hands. All three men are unjustly attacked and murdered !.

Thirty years on and it seems that the Jacobs boys and papa Jacobs have returned from their watery grave, and are taking their own form of justice against those who turned upon them. Fish hooks in hand and gutting skills put to expert use, backed up by an axe apiece to grind out their gratuitous revenge.
It’s a pretty standard affair with all the applicable traits and attributes of low budget ‘B’ movie film making. The attention to detail and plot from the writing team often leaves its audience more dumbfounded than the on screen silliness. Sheriff Logan’s lack of knowledge with both locals and town history is ridiculous. Not knowing anything at all about an infamous town lynching and murder that occurred in the last thirty years is too odd for words. It is never quite clear as to whether he was raised in the town, or come in to be appointed sheriff in recent times !?.

The movie itself is pretty well filmed, and particularly the night scenes, replete with back lit creepy scenarios and suitably applied wafts of mist, make for good viewing. The best moments do actually come when the Jacobs family appear out of the mist and set about their tirade of terror. Fans of wrestling will no doubt delight in seeing the icons Psycho Sid Vicious and Kevin Nash apply their might to taking out the trash on the big screen. There really is something quite enjoyably quirky visible in their eyes when they swing that axe. Go Big Daddy ‘Kill’ !.

The small town fishing community, murders in the mist scenario certainly is reminiscent of John Carpenter’s The Fog (1980), but in reality the difference in class is vast. Carpenter’s movie is an all time classic and readily re-watchable, whereas River Of Darkness, once viewed is most likely to be ‘mist’ on repeat showings.

Pretty much all of the acting is wooden and visibly stilted, with the actors concentrating more on hitting their marks than relaxing into character. Kurt Angle does his best, but comes across in the Kurt Angle wrestling character school of acting. Not altogether a bad thing as a large portion of the likely audience for this will be from his fan base, and he’s a pretty decent all round good guy anyway so why the heck not.

This one is really for fans of the wrestling stars on show, and die hard ‘B’ movie horror fanatics easily forgiving of such well intentioned trite. Former Olympic champion Kurt Angle might have greater success in attaining future gold chasing the end of a rainbow than pursuing a serious acting career, but if he can take himself less seriously in future roles it could be good times for all. Oh it’s true, it’s damn true !.

Movie Rating: 3/10

Review by Paul Cooke / Source UK PAL Region 2 DVD

River Of Darkness (2010)
Director Bruce Koehler
With Kurt Angle, Bill Hinzman, Kevin Nash,
Psycho Sid Vicious, Bill Laing & Ray ‘Glacier’ Llloyd

Prepare, Greek Bearing Euro Gifts ...

2011-02-02T01:05:00.005Z

EBAY AUCTIONS

February 2011

By Athena's great wisdom and Apollo's shinning light the eternal ethos of Ebay plays host to some Euro Action goodness from the Italian Masters of Explosive entertainment, snappy and Raty ! Horror, killer crocs and a double dose of street crime. All in all a Wild Team of Action that covers a great cross section of all that is highly enjoyable about the Euro / Italian genres from the last few decades.

Please do stop by Ebay and check out my latest batch of Original VHS Tapes. All of these particular Greek Tapes are of the best quality, and considering the all too familiar low grade and inconsistent quality regularly associated with the Greek tapes, these are amongst the best releases and all come in sturdy large boxes with some Cool insert art work.

A great cross section of Euro goodness.

Of the Eight Video Tapes up for grabs, six are Greek Original VHS Tapes All in English language, with Greek Subtitles. The two remaining tapes The Marseilles Connection and Sudden Justice are both UK PAL VHS Original Tapes, subtitle free and in English language.

Scans of the VHS insert covers as shown below are once again of the actual VHS that is on offer.

To all who take the time to check the Auctions out, Thank You. And to all who place a bid, and go on to become the winning bidder ... Thank You Very Much :) .

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270700130454&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT

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(SOLD)

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(SOLD)

Indonesian Biblical Brawn ...

2011-01-30T23:17:00.002Z

La Revanche De Samson

aka Revenge Of Samson

(1987/Indonesia)

A body building Mr. Australia runner up plays the lead role of Samson, in a hair brained rib tickler of bizarrely biblical proportions from the wonderfully idiosyncratic Indonesians. With the sun shining, Paul Hay makes the most of his given opportunity to bathe in the glory of cinematic cult hood, alongside the queen of Indonesian screen horror Suzzanna, in the role of Delilah.

Samson toils the land and trains his body and mind with his elder physical and spiritual guru. Harnessing great strength and amazing agility Samson is able to break boulders with his bare hands, split rock faces in two and pull trees out of the ground to their very roots.
The time comes for Samson to undertake a journey of discovery and upon his path he soon comes upon the exotic and opulently apparelled Delilah. Her horse and carriage out of control, Samson steps in to assist her and their tale of destiny begins. She is a lady of the gentry and her father is shortly thereafter revealed as being the governor of the province, and a powerful oppressor of the poor with the might of the military behind him. Samson has traversed into this larger world from his own, where he quickly encounters the evil and avarice for wealth and power of man.

The mean spirited might of the military is unleashed with some regularity upon the hard working and humble villagers. The soldiers usurp their position with intimidation and forceful might, beating the men and assaulting the women. His own family brutally slaughtered before his very own eyes as just a small boy, by the corrupt and villainous hierarchy, Samson’s time to fight back and take a stand for the villagers is now !.
A great display of strength and mobility up against a far greater number of men gives the villagers reason for hope in the deliverance of a hero and saviour. Samson’s bravado cannot overcome the overwhelming number of soldiers however and it is only the intervention of Delilah that pardons his precocious indiscretion against the odds. Detained at her pleasure Samson is bound and whipped at her very own hand. Inherently she desires him, yet her proclivity for inflicting pain is as intrinsic as her need for reciprocal pleasure.

Samson uses his wits to escape and with his flight of freedom he takes Delilah, against her will. His intention is to show her kindness and gentleness in an attempt to uncover her inner beauty. The life lesson is short lived and Samson sends Delilah back to her all consuming father, who immediately reacts to the deed of abduction by calling upon the services of a fearsome professional mercenary for hire. This is no ordinary hired hand mind you, not in a freakin’ Indonesian movie that’s for darned sure. Punch your purchase ticket for the freak show has arrived, and the journey ahead is an off the rails raucous riot. Enter The Cyclops !. A powerhouse one man army, one single eyed monster of a man. A beast that lives to dispense pain and likely sleeps with his one eye open. Forty winks to him is a sight for sore eye. Along with his two henchmen they storm into the villagers camp to cause upheaval and demand Samson show himself to them. Samson does not disappoint and neither does the Action at this point as the weapons come out, and Samson pumps up his own guns in another mighty show of strength against his challengers. Cyclops steps up with an enormous ball and mace upon a long chain, enabling far reaching swinging carnage to both solid structure and far less forgiving human skin and bone. Combined with a circular bladed shield, replete with sharp spear tipped accoutrements, The Cyclops has a keen eye for carnage. The gauging, slicing and hacking brings forth blood and gore in a showpiece showdown that provides a show reel mini movie in itself to warrant many a rewind moment. Lucky for Samson that just prior to all this he had a warm up session going hand to horns against a full grown Ox, wrestling with it and eventually body slamming in outlandish glee. A gory impaling and a bloody body in two slicing conclude the impropriety of the Cyclops and his cronies.

What a deliriously entertaining piece of high camp entertainment La Revanche De Samson is. Incredible that the films biggest patrons at the time of release were the French, and how very unfortunate that even today the films release is inherently under exposed to a starved world audience. Dark eye make up, dodgy moustaches and garish garments all add to this adult pantomime to gander upon.
Unable to break Samson’s indomitable spirit the governor calls upon the services of another bizarre mercenary. A mystic with great powers and abilities to manipulate the human form into a malleable state, that in demonstration displays some freakish representations of his skills.

Samson has to square up to the mystics embodiment of a nigh on indestructible fighter, who doesn’t know when to quit, even when sliced in half, and disembodied from his lower half leaving his legs to fight on against the disbelieving Samson. It’s almost a runaway success for the mystics man, until Samson once again uses his resourcefulness to get a foot hold on proceedings. There’s plenty of entrails spillage and spurting bloody stumps on show here, all thrown on display with a wry vein of silliness that cannot be taken seriously at all. It’s all outlandish absurdity with a zestful playfulness.

Events turn a little to the dark side as Delilah steps in to seduce Samson and entrap him with her womanly wiles. Intoxicated by her charm in her mobile harem Delilah enacts a perversely stimulating food fetish courtship that must have caused a storm for the Indonesian censors. What transpires is feminine deception on a grand biblical scale in a prophetic enactment, as Samson falls to Delilah’s doctored drink potion. During his state of unconsciousness Samson is shorn of his sinuous locks of hair by her very hand, then without her knowledge he is viciously blinded by her fathers spineless right hand man, gouging his eyes out with his sword blade.

Samson is sent to the mining mills and there left to rot in a life of chained servitude.
Learning of Samson’s fate Delilah is remorseful and shocked at the cruel treatment befallen upon her true love. She secretly visits to comfort him, and to confess her sins and deep sorrow at his pitiful demise. Her fathers military general and right hand man, responsible for the cowardly and despicable castigation of Samson, watches on in the shadows, revelling in the couples despair.
What can possibly save Samson, and escalate his pitiful plight up from the pit of despair not normally so associated with the feel good factor of an Indonesian production !?. Well fear thee not seekers of the subliminally sublime, and anticipators of the insanely beyond possible comprehension in all your wildest dreams, for when Samson calls upon the heavens above for help how the heck can even they justify turning a blind eye to the ocular challenged hero to the people !?.
If you haven’t by this point been completely drawn into the mercurial majesty of this treasure trove of Indonesian insanity then be sure to check yourself into the funny farm for the finale, as it will flabbergast your very fibre and likely turn your brain to mush. What a way to go though.

The resurgence of Samson is brought about by buxom breasts and magical nipples that you’ll definitely keep those eyes out for. Surely this is best defined as a see cup moment. Only in Indonesian cinema, or your most fantastical wildest dreams, could what transpires, come to be.
Can a rejuvenated Samson still stand tall and fight against the governor and all his military might ?. With a further prayer to the heavens above, and a grand old free for all mighty brawl for final justice, you can be assured that Samson brings the house down !.

Movie Rating: 7/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source French PAL DVD

La Revanche De Samson (1987)
Director Sisworo Gautama Putra
With Suzzanna, Paul Hay,
Rolf Halberstadt, Corbi Vile, A.J. Eikman,
Menkahay & Matthias Kurt

Japanese VHS Goodness Abounds On Ebay ...

2011-01-23T16:25:00.004Z

Ebay Auctions

Part II January 2011

Wow, how quickly has the new year begun !?. Almost through January and February swiftly approaching. Just placed some more Japanese Original VHS Tape Goodness up for Auction over at Ebay. An Action lovin' mixed bag including an outrageously over the top trailblazing jungle rollercoaster from Thailand, a giant shark with even bigger teeth from Italian 'B' movie maestro Bruno Mattei, with his glorious Xerox of Jaws. More from Bruno with the Sci-fi insanity that is Shocking Dark. Splice Aliens with The Terminator and throw some Bruno gloop over the mix and you get the most entertaining, non stop Action lunacy to revel in.

All of the pictures below link to the Ebay Auctions and are scans of the actual Videos that are on offer.

Please do take the time to check them out, and anyone considering, or actually bidding upon, the very best of luck, and Thank You.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270696069514&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT
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(SOLD)

Indonesian Director Arizal Lets Loose ...

2011-01-16T22:26:00.005Z

The Stabilizer

(1986 / Indonesia)

‘‘Anyone who dies by my hand I always consider a friend’’

Awesome Action Director Arizal delivers again in another completely over the top Indonesian pulse pounding pleaser of preposterous proportions. That’s a lot of adjective ‘P’s’ to loosely describe one heck of an Action overload from a film maker who deserves a lot more credit and exposure outside of his own homeland. Thankfully quite a few of Arizal’s films did find their way onto VHS in other regions around the globe. The Stabilizer is one of those movies, and its frenetic pace and all Action style has to be experienced to be believed !.

The plot, as with most Indonesian Action outings, is simple but brutal in its intent so as to give on screen credence to the motives of the characters. Pithy pantomime baddies pretty much goad their heroic protagonists into acts of vengeance with due cause. The bad guy here is no exception as he forcefully rapes and brutalises the fiancée of law enforcer Peter Goldson (Peter O’Brian). Greg Rainmaker is the kingpin of a drug cartel and following a run in with Peter Goldson he ends up being shot in the kneecap, leaving him with a permanent walking impediment. In vengeful retribution he strikes back through cowardly redemption against the woman Goldson loves.

Some years later Peter Goldson has the opportunity to bring Greg Rainmaker to bear for his actions once and for all. Called upon by the Indonesian narcotics division as a specialist law enforcer, to team up with an old friend and fellow officer, Goldson answers the call of duty without hesitation. He is considered to be the cop to call when it comes to restoring the balance of good and evil. A man with the experience to stabilize serious situations, and Peter Goldson is just that man, for he is … The Stabilizer !.

A professor in Indonesia has created a narcotics detector and his assistant named Victor has sold his services to Rainmaker to step out of the professors shadow. The professor is kidnapped and held captive with forceful intent to divulge the formula for the detector. The professors daughter teams up with Goldson and his fellow officer in order to uncover the whereabouts of the professor, and destroy Rainmaker’s operations.

The professors daughter proves to be a useful gal to have around as she is both proficient in karate and handling a crossbow. Her skills are put to use alongside Goldson and his partner as they flush out Victor and halt a major operation at one of Rainmakers production warehouses. It’s slam, bang, biff, bash, bosh Adam West Batman fisticuffs and martial arts acrobatics as Arizal gets to showcase what he is best at, putting the Action right up on the screen for all to enjoy. The insane craziness doesn’t just stop at people beating the heck out of each other, but motorcycles and construction vehicles crashing into walls and through brick, mortar and wood.

Peter O’Brian certainly appears to be doing pretty much all of his own stunt work along with his supporting cast. Grand scale Action set pieces including the obligatory motorcycle versus a helicopter, and massively staged exploding buildings are all part of Arizal’s recidivist resume.

Throw in some neat little touches, such as Rainmaker sporting a pair of raised pointed steel soled shoes that make golfing pumps seem redundant, particularly when the wearer uses them to strike out with harmful intent !. A Mohawk crowned lackey not quite good enough to challenge Mr. T for a ride in the A-Team van, and some ass kicking babes who know how to handle a big weapon, are all part of the welcome insanity on display.

Peter O’Brian as ever looks like Stallone playing Rambo, only stuck in anamorphic mode for the entirety !. Craziest of all has to be the English language dubbing that is applied, its as if the Action is set in the mid Eighties but the dialogue is trapped in the Seventies. It’s kind of like Asian meets Blaxploitation, with its star O’Brian crossing Dirty Harry with John J. Rambo in a cocktail he clearly is intoxicated with. The result is over the top Action overload, Arizal style. Throughout it all nothing can stop … The Stabilizer !.

View The Stabilizer Trailer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nq9Hck4sdis

Movie Rating: 6/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source Japanese NTSC VHS

The Stabilizer (1986)

Director Arizal
With Peter O’Brian, Craig Gavin, Gillie Beanz,
Dana Christina, Harry Capri & Mark Sungkar

Barry Prima The Warrior Supreme ...

2011-01-08T19:58:00.016Z

The Warrior & The Ninja Girl

(1985/Indonesia)

‘‘You cannot get away. No matter where you may hide’’

Barry Prima reprises his role as Jaka Sembung, the righteous representation of good, returning in a sequel to the original 1981 cult Indonesian Action fantasy The Warrior.

The Warrior strives on in the fight for his people against the Dutch imperialist oppressors of his beloved country. The tyrannous invaders rape and plunder the land, making the meek farmers their slaves. Now the time has come for the people to rebel. Some join with the Dutch enemy, they in turn oppressing their own kind. These traitors will not be forgotten, and will never be forgiven. This then is an era for new heroes to rise up. This is the time of Black Squirrel, the ninja girl !.

Jaka Sembung’s village is decimated by a close by volcano as it suddenly erupts. All the residents flee for their lives. From within its fiery furnace emerges an imprisoned warrior, his bodied impervious to the molten heat. He has spent many years exiled in this place. His past misdemeanours, as an exactor of ill gotten deeds, brought to a halt by his nemesis and teacher of Jaka Sembung. This Ox of a man is known as Iron Man, his very fabric forged like iron. His flesh and bone all but impregnable by weapons. Free from his volcanic internment he seeks revenge upon Jaka Sembung’s master and will stomp his way through anything or anyone that stands in his way.

The Dutch overlords sit at the same table as their affluent Indonesian dictators. When night falls the Black Squirrel comes to dine upon their riches. Using all of her well honed ninja skills she is able to climb trees and scale walls, slipping in unnoticed through building windows and helping herself to the riches of the corrupt. The opulent chattels are put to very good use in funding the rebel cause, and as food and medicine for the poor. Her actions are that of an Asian Robin Hood.

With each nightly forage Black Squirrel risks all and the governor of the main village increases his manpower, along with setting many an intricate trap to capture this thorn in his side. On a night that indeed proves to be almost impossibly insurmountable for this ninja girl, she is aided in her escape by the recently arrived Jaka Sembung. They forge a bond in common plight against the oppressive regime from here on in, and the fights and fantastical enactments play out in typically wild Indonesian insanity.

Many a clash against the Dutch and their suckling pig brethren plays out. Wild displays of kung fu is decorated by the garish red expunction of severed throats, and loped off limbs, chopped from multitudes of soldiers bloodied in the battle. Sword blades thrust into throats and slice into stomachs as the acrobatic ninja girl agilely displays what she does best.

Jaka Sembung squares off against Iron Man, commissioned for the despicable cause by the Dutch aligned Indonesian governor, and their coming together proves to be a highlight of the movie. Visibly outmatched by the seemingly invincible Iron Man Jaka Sembung must use his superior guile in order to overcome the impossible. In with a sniff of a chance the warrior may have smelt Iron Man’s Achilles heel!.

Teaming up Ninja Girl with The Warrior proves to be a successful on screen combination as the Action come twice as fast and is double the Fun. They assist each other out of situations that alone may have proven to be their individual downfall. Jaka Sembung’s rescue from the torture chamber of his captors, three quarters of the way into the movie, is high energy value for money viewing. Splayed across a wrack, with a mighty swinging blade just inches above him, is straight out of The Pit And The Pendulum (1961). Black Squirrels advances to free him are countered by perilous traps !.

In grand old finale tradition with these fantastical Indonesian pictures it all climaxes in majestic fashion with a right royal round house fight to the death. The bad guys best, imbued of their super enhanced abilities, up against The Black Squirrel, Jaka Sembung and the unyielding rebels. All going toe to toe in a battle that has its fair share of gory demises to relish. Amazing stuff, and in the very best of conclusive movie tradition, Jaka Sembung gets to return in future sequels, as The Warrior lives to fight another day.

This Very Greek VHS Now Up For Auction On Ebay (SOLD)

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Warrior-Ninja-Girl-BARRY-PRIMA-GREEK-VHS-W-S-/270690550489?pt=UK_DVD_Film_TV_Videos&hash=item3f066a02d9

View The Trailer For The Warrior & The Ninja Girl

http://www.manpaper.com/ViewVideo.php?VideoIndex=638218

Movie Rating: 6/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source Greek PAL VHS

The Warrior And The Ninja Girl (1985)

Director H. Tjut Djalil
With Barry Prima, El Manik, Rita Zahara,
Syamsuri Kaempuan, Tizar Purbaya,
Piet Pagau & Zurmainy Terry

More Japanese VHS Goodness Docked Up Over On At The 'Bay ...

2011-01-02T13:32:00.006Z

EBAY AUCTIONS 

January 2011

Happy New Year folks. Hopefully Santa was good to you and didn't damage any of those super shiny DVD delights during his decent down your chimney, or Faux fireplace - hey it is the 21st century after all !.

As we collectors know all too well, all that is shiny is not necessarily Gold when it comes to our treasured movies. Here then is another opportunity, and the first from me in 2011, to trade in the tangerines and knitted jumpers to get yourselves the present that you really wanted.

Please check out my recent new listings on Ebay for another small sampling of Original Japanese NTSC Video Tapes. All in Fantastic shape with those Fabulous inserts with glorious artwork that the Japanese do so very well.

More Tapes to follow in the coming weeks, including some rarities on both the PAL Format and some of those often even more obscure movies released on Greek VHS. Hey, I may even post up some Laserdiscs for those that may have been around in the day when Super Shiny platters of movie goodness were the bench mark for home viewing excellence.

Thank you once again to all who frequent Ballistic Blood Bullets, and for taking the time to check out the films that I have on offer over at Ebay. I really do appreciate it, and aside from the obvious benefit of making some extra cash it is personally satisfying knowing that these much treasured movies find another good home.

Here we go then, please see the VHS covers below, which are true representations of the actual films that you will receive, along with the Ebay Auction links to cast your eyes upon at your leisure.

Thank you.

Enjoy.

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(SOLD)

Post Apocalyptic Ferrigno ...

2010-12-28T14:27:00.005Z

Desert Warrior

(1988/USA/Philippines)

‘‘Law is meant for man, not man for the law’’

It is twenty years following the Third World War, and the planet has been plunged back into an age of barbarianism since the nuclear holocaust. Scavengers roam the desolate landscape, preying on whatever they can to eat, including each other !.

One bright hope for the future of mankind emerges. The Drones. Civilised survivors intent upon reviving order from chaos, and rebuilding a new civilisation. A noble cause, threatened by the nomadic savages.

In a world with no law the strong rule and under their tenure those that dare oppose the regime of Baktar, leader of the Tyrogs, must fight for their lives in a makeshift arena in a battle to the death. Like gladiators before their Roman Emperor, in an open domed basic construct, akin to that in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985), those foolish enough to cross Baktar have to stand against his champion in combat. That champion is none other than classic TV’s The Hulk, Lou Ferrigno. An eye patch wearing goliath of a warrior named Zerak.

Baktar’s self prophetic legacy is to spawn the first newborn free of infection from radiation poisoning. His opportunity comes along when the feisty Racela, from the race of Drones, patrols with her male companion beyond the designated safe perimeters of their underground community. Their advanced tech all terrain craft, replete with laser weapons, is attacked by the savages and Racela is taken hostage.

With news of Racela’s disappearance reaching the Drone high command, her father General Cortaz beseeches with the governing council permission to breach protocol and send out a search party. His request is immediately denied, only to be overturned on the strict adherence to the ruling that should he choose to leave the confines of the Drone domicile, then he, and whomever volunteers to go with him, may never again return.

Clearly green with envy at the scavengers having a pure and clean female specimen, and under order from Baktar, warrior of the wasteland Lou Ferrigno gets astride his retro three wheeled motorcycle, and along with his men roars to the rescue. It’s not long before he clashes with the scavengers as they go head to head with all manner of old fashioned weaponry. Top trumped only by a grenade launcher and of course Zerak wielding his mighty sword. Well it’s only to be expected when you make him angry !.

Zerak saves the girl but is injured in the process and only a grateful Racela can assist him in getting back to his own people, the Tyrogs. Unbeknownst to them whilst they struggle across the desert terrain, Racela’s father and two companions are not far behind, following their tracks in order to rescue her.

Back in the bosom of Baktar’s domain Zerak soon realises that he has feelings for Racela, and she for him. He cannot allow Baktar to force himself upon this innocent who in turn saved him from surely dying alone in the wilderness. In order to save her he must turn against his own people and align forces with General Cortaz to escape the clutches of Baktar.

Ferrigno fulfils his role as the resourceful anti hero pretty well in what is clearly a low budget outing, and his ‘B’ movie bravado comes into its own when he is allowed some clobbering time.

It’s a struggle to get back to the Drone complex, and to share in the news of a breakthrough by their scientists regarding the radiation poisoning, and an even greater one to overcome the mandate of the no return policy !. A battle ensues outside the underground complex as the location is compromised. The fight for dominance prevails as guns and knives go up against laser beam weaponry and organised tacticians, but the shear number of barbaric Tyrogs is more than enough for the Drones to cope with. It is up to General Cortaz, Racela and the hulking Zerak to bring order from chaos between the fighting factions. With Lou Ferrigno leading the way the planets future surely must be green.

Movie Rating: 6/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source Japanese NTSC VHS

Desert Warrior (1988)

Director Jim Goldman
With Lou Ferrigno, Shari Shattuck, Mike Cohen,
Anthony East & Mike Monty

Seasons Best Wishes ...

2010-12-20T16:53:00.007Z

A Very Merry Christmas

& A Happy New Year

To All The Die Hard Action Fans

And Friends & Followers Of

Ballistic Blood Bullets

Thank you one and all for your support and continued readership. Here's looking forward to a Filmtastic 2011 where even more huts will explode, scenery will be chewed up & quirky one line delivery dialogue will send us into fits of hysterics.

The mystical worlds of Asian film to thrill and astonish, and the mind bending banality that is Indonesian cinema to perplex and dumfound in equal measures of delirious wonderment. To amaze and flabbergast even the most seasoned of viewer.

Be safe, be well, be good, and be kind to one another.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Project UFO: The Phillip J. Roth Files

2010-12-18T11:55:00.002Z

Rapid Exchange

(2003/USA)

When high tech thieves Ketchum and Brooks are out trumped by rivals, seeking to steal a nine million dollar sceptre from a museum, they have disgruntled employer Lance Henriksen to answer to. He reacts by giving them the opportunity to work off the loss incurred by making them part of a select criminal crew, with a far loftier assignment involving millions of dollars. Star Lorenzo Lamas and Matt O’Toole go from being Hudson Hawk (1991) partners in crime to sky jacking wing men , in a daring heist of a governmental 747 transporting a multi million dollar money cargo.

The slick production values are immediately and rewardingly evident as is the quirky nature of the unravelling events, all snappily edited together under the stylish Direction of Tripp Reed.

The audacious heist is planned down to the finest of detail, akin to a Reservoir 'Sky' Dogs. Colourful in character if not in names the eclectic crew each have their own individual skill they bring to the collective table. The presence of team leader Daltry is a moot one for Ketchum and Brooks though as there is a distrusting history between them. Daltry is the consummate thief who thrills in the high life of a criminally recompensed playboy lifestyle, founded off looking out for number one. Reliant on team work but with so much to gain can they all rely upon each other to see the job through to completion !?.

It is with Mission Impossible (1996) smartness that they work their way aboard the aircraft with all manner of disguises and clever ingratiation. Lorenzo Lamas is clearly relaxed in his role and having the most fun since freely allowed to roam the byways in his heyday as televisions Renegade. Starlet Aviva Gale also stands out as the very cute young lady thief Sophie, a choice role for a cute face and a personality to watch out for in the future.

The excitement value takes off with the bodacious retrieval unit of operations riding the undetectable slipstream behind the 747 in their own jet. The hook up between the two planes is a neat sequence to behold and one which is cleverly played out, as the special effects crew get to deliver a thrilling visual. James Bond meets Air Force One (1997) in an exciting transfer of Ketchum, Brooks and companions from jet to jumbo without the aid of a safety net.

Aboard the plane both parties work their way into the code locked on board vault with an ingenuity that is seldom thought out for a major Hollywood Blockbuster let alone a low budget gem such as this. Without any force the industrious crooks outsmart the on board treasury guard whilst in uninterrupted flight, and even forgo the on board tutorial detailing safe exit ways as they bag the swag to jump ship. With the alarm raised though and old scores resurfaced its time to find out who jumps first and who jumps farthest. There’s a very well paced twist or two before the final pay off, as Rapid Exchange proves to be another first class production from the Unified Film Organisation studio.

Movie Rating: 7/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source Region 1 NTSC DVD

Rapid Exchange (2003)

Director Tripp Reed
With Lorenzo Lamas, Lance Henriksen, Aviva Gale,
Matt O’Toole & Wayne Pere

Infectious Brit Flick Horror Bites Back ...

2010-12-12T22:41:00.006Z

Devil's Playground

(2010/UK)

‘‘They bite you, and then you become one of them’’

London becomes the plague playground for ravenous victims of a purported life enhancing super drug, that proves to be the harbinger of death and the catalyst for a metamorphosis to exist beyond life as the un-dead !.

Pudding Lane may have sparked the Great Fire but Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later (2002) ignited the film furnace that enabled many a contemporary British made Zombie movie to follow, and Devil’s Playground smoulders in its back draft like an old flame rekindling that spark of interest.

RAK 295 is a modern day lifestyle pep tablet designed to eliminate the stress and strain of everyday life. Produced by N-Gen Industries for the purposes of giving the populace a performance enhancing boost to their lethargic lives. Thirty thousand volunteers undertook the testing programme over a two month period. After just one month extreme side effects became evident. Multiple organ failure, vomiting, vascular collapse and external excretion of blood.

The doctors after just one week of the study decided to quarantine the very first test subject due to his obvious allergic reaction. His physiology and cellular makeup altered, and only a test viral suppressant keep the maliciously malignant toxin from fully manifesting, this test subject fully transforms once his anti viral injection is withheld. What follows is an aggressive reaction and the test subject transforms into a feral being with super enhanced strength and great agility. Throwing himself at doctors and N-Gen assistants he rips and tears at their flesh with his nails and razor like teeth. Leaping high into the air from a standing start, and bouncing off the walls like a gymnast high on Beta Blockers. This is no longer a human medical test subject, it is a vicious monster in human guise, hungry for flesh and thirsting for blood !.

All but one volunteer, a young woman named Angela Mills, was unaffected in any shape or form. Every other intern to the N-Gen programme eventually dies.

N-Gen Industries want the whole experimental undertaking results kept quiet from the government, and the public in order to instigate a cover up and escape a crippling lawsuit. They call upon head security and company problem solver Cole (Craig Fairbrass) to take care of loose ends, but most importantly to find Angela Mills and bring her back to the facility, as she is the only living antidote known to this cause and effect. When Cole himself gets bitten he only has eighteen hours to locate the girl before his self inject able suppressants can no longer keep him, human !.

With the outbreak all over the news panic and pandemonium hits the streets of London and amidst it all is Angela Mills trying to escape with a friend to a rural retreat. Their objective is to meet up with her brother who is in the police, and has a colleague who is a helicopter pilot. They know the whereabouts of a four person helicopter and its location is secluded away from general notice.

Danny Dyer plays the role of Joe, his wife to be was Angela, until their lives were turned upside down by events affecting Joe’s position as a police officer. Now a disgraced cop having been deemed irresponsible in the act of detaining a young man involved in dealing drugs, who is killed in the line of duty. Joe is released from prison on bail, eaten up by the guilt of the incident but determined to prove his innocence and dedicated to winning back the love of his life Angela. They are thrown together again in the spiralling events that overtake their lives in the combined need to stay alive. They reunite at a friends car auto repair shop on the outskirts of London, where joined by an American and his wife, they are soon attacked by the infected and are defending their retreat against the blood crazed inhuman creatures.

Assistance arrives in the form of Cole, having tracked Angela Mills to the location, and he immediately takes charge. Securing the ramshackle repair shop, and despatching the remaining rabid infected in brutal and bloody fashion, Cole unites the fractious group into putting a plan of survival in place. The helicopter being the objective, but knowing that it has room for literally four occupants self preservation within the group becomes an evident issue that has to be dealt with. Cole’s priority is to get Angela to a medical facility, anything and anyone else is unimportant. She discloses that she is pregnant however, and with Joe the father, his objective is precisely the same !.

What transpires is a battle to ensure the safety of Angela, and a fight for survival against the growing hordes of those infected by Rak 295. The Action is pretty much full on from the start, but the overall fraught tension plays out during the second half of the movie as everything plays out at night. The streets of London are ablaze and the feint flicker of optimism is never far from being snuffed out.

Craig Fairbrass turns in a strong and dogged performance that injects depth and believability into the character of Cole. When he runs out of bullets he uses whatever is available to fight his way through the flesh craving infected denizens, bludgeoning and pummelling with his bare fists at times, smashing skulls and breaking limbs. The blood quota is pretty high and mostly well done. Reliance on old school make up and stunts make redundant the usual over domination of CGI to enhance the overall enjoy ability, of what is essentially a budget movie doing its best to cleverly mask its shortcomings. It does it well and achieves its primary objective, and that is to deliver a solid if somewhat unoriginal story with a decent impact upon a willing audience.

Zombie movies are in abundance but when they are done right, and still deliver entertainment like Devil’s Playground, there’s life in the Dead genre yet.

Movie Rating: 6/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source Region 2 PAL UK DVD

Devil’s Playground (2010)

Director Mark McQueen

With Craig Fairbrass, MyAnna Buring, Danny Dyer,

Jaime Murray, Sean Pertwee, Colin Salmon,

Lisa McAllister, Shane Taylor & Craig Conway

Japanese VHS Goodness Hits The 'Bay

2010-12-05T22:04:00.001Z

EBAY AUCTIONS, STAND BY FOR ... ACTION

Ballistic Blood Bullets followers and those that know me well will appreciate my love for All things Action. From the likes of Antonio Margheriti to Enzo G. Castellari & Bruno Mattei, to list just a very small example.

Over a very long period of time, including over ten years of dogged determination and last second computer key pressing in high anticipation of snagging a rarity on Ebay, I have amased many hundreds of Original Japanese VHS Tapes. Even these in their hundreds are but a small part of my movie collection, but amongst all of the films I have acquired these Japanese Tapes most definitely represent some of the very most rare & highly collectable movies. Most are still not, and indeed many most likely never will be, available on the shiny format of DVD. I recall spending many years desperately trying to get hold of Ferdinando Baldi's Action movie Ten Zan: Ultimate Mission, and one day finally the Japanese VHS appeared on Ebay. I spent many a fraught moment anxiously anticipating the close of the Auction and praying against fellow last minute bidders. I did manage to secure, but of course at quite a price, but it was finally mine. I must have watched the movie about five times in the first month of receiving, but it sure was worth it and that movie never showed up anywhere again for a very long time. When it did eventually show up again on Ebay it went for an even higher price. A further long while later, amazingly a second opportunity arose for me to grab a second Tape of the movie, in the early hours of the morning I stayed up and Incredibly no one else seemed to know it had been listed. I did feel kinda bad at gazumping the bidders already in place, suspecting that at 4.00am in the morning it was a little too much for them to stay up and last second bid like the crazy fool I was. A very happy crazy fool mind you come closure. That second Original Ten Zan: Ultimate Mission Japanese VHS Tape in a marginal Widescreen presentation is just one of the movies that I now offer the opportunity to someone else to have and to hold, and to proudly place amongst their own treasured collection.

The purpose and reason behind offering these movies now for Auction you may ask ?. Well, perhaps like the great Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry delivering his infamous line ''I know what you're thinking, did I fire six shots or five'' (paraphrased but applicable), in all the years of excitement there were many times passing on such rare movies, even when that rare gem had already been snagged, I just could not resist ensuring I had an extra version ... you know, just in case !.

With the safety measures now of the fabulous format back up security of DVDr I can rest at ease and so now give a little something back to the collector community. Please, if you will take the time to check out my Ebay Auctions in the coming weeks and months as there will be many a Rare tape and Fabulous Japanese VHS Original Tape on offer. ALL of my Tapes have been genuinely cared for and cherished. Every single one of them I took the time to carefully clean of rental stickers where applied by the stores and also thoroughly cleaned the cassettes of all dirt and sticky labels. These Tapes look as near perfect as the day they were first produced. The insert card artwork is almost exclusively blemish free and I promise each potential interested fellow film fan and collector that what you receive upon securing a bid is a trouble free exchange and a bonified VHS Movie Tape to be proud of in your own collection.

Currently up for grabs on Ebay are All of the movies listed below and the scans shown are the very inserts from the films that are on offer. Please do check out the Auctions and thank you in advance for doing so and for your consideration in acquiring. The very best of luck to any and all interested bidders.

Prepare for Action ... as the Great Brent Huff would say ... It Can Be Done.

Thank You

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Post Nuke 'Bots Kinda Rule In ...

2010-11-30T19:27:00.006Z

Robot Holocaust

(1986/USA)

‘‘The Dark One has consumed your father’’

The Post Nuke genre has provided great entertainment from many a low budget filmmaking auteur, particularly during the Eighties when the cycle of Mad Max (1979) clones was most prevalent, but with Robot Holocaust something far more devastating than a global disaster brought this to be !.

The opening credits have the traditional serious toned foreboding voiceover, post script the nuclear devastation, and telling of the age of the Mechanoids and the great robot rebellion of 2033. Earth is now known as New Terra, after the robots turned on their masters. The planet is governed by an unseen being known as The Dark One. This all powerful entity rules by enslaving the surviving human race by controlling the planets oxygen. His source is a structure known as the power station. Here the mighty mechanical machinery siphons the atmosphere and The Dark One’s robotic minions, aided by the still human supreme bitch Valaria, in order to rule over the populace. The enslaved people are known as Air Slaves, as they are kept in order by The Dark One’s constant threat of any and all being intoxicated by air restriction, and lethal exposure to New Terra’s true toxic environment.

From the ashes of the destruction, and from out of the wastelands comes Neo, a new champion of the people and a nemesis to The Dark One. Oh dear lord, if only the premise could deliver !. In all honesty the best, and truly only way to derive any pleasure from this shot in a few days, on the budget of the revenue from a car boot sale, is to buy into the fact that this is trying it’s best to actually pay homage to the Italian Post Nuke movies of the Eighties, ironically putting a spin on the fact that the European market at that time was of course cashing in on the far bigger budgeted Hollywood movies.

Any true lover of the Italian futuristic Sci-Fi, after the bomb type delights such as 2019: After The Fall Of New York (1983), The Bronx Warriors (1982), Bronx Warriors II: Escape From The Bronx (1983) and The New Barbarians (1982), will be able to recognise many elements of plagiarism. Mutant gangs and characters, along with costume and defiant swagger are noticeable, but truly only if you are an aficionado of the genre, anyone else is going to wonder what the heck is this dreck !. And to be fair, that would perfectly sum it all up.

For a general audience, without the benefit of having glorified in the delights of Post Nuke goodness Robot Holocaust is like a puerile futuristic variation of The Wizard Of Oz (1939) . Certainly the overall experience is a brainless mess, the movie lacks any real heart and it surely took all the courage of those involved on screen to ever show their faces at the screen actors guild again !. Up on the celluloid though is Nero, who along with his humanoid robot companion Klyton, unites with various futuristic misfits, including a barbarian she wolf Amazonian, a Tarzan look alike and a scientists daughter with the ability to breathe both pure and contaminated air unaided.

The band of misfits come together during Neo’s trek to the power station, and not with the purpose of seeking out Robert Palmer to sign him up for a record label deal with a couple of disenchanted members of Duran Duran at that time, as Neo and new metallic tag along buddy Kryton seek to bring down The Dark One !.

It is genuinely laugh out loud hysterical clearly recognising that the journey undertaken is through Central Park in Manhattan, New York. There isn’t really any great attempt to disguise this fact, but it is stupefying brilliant that director Tim Kincaid still rallies proceedings along with interjected action silliness, and designer disaster characters to at least create the illusion of delivering entertainment.

Inferred bog creatures, and pool creatures in the Central Park scenic ponds is creative only to the degree that the camera is kept low level to hide the obvious fact of where they are actually filming. Shooting at a restricted degree at these times is often through conveniently placed reeds and plants to create the illusion of futuristic foliage. At times it most definitely is cringe worthy stuff, but gorilla film making at its most desperate for sure.

There are a few Fun moments to be had, one of which is the scene in which Neo and followers first enter the underground tract in order to gain undetected access into the realm of The Dark One, in order to storm the power station. Here they are beset by sewage worms, bloodthirsty oversized blind slither critters that dwell within the walls of the sewer. Okay so they’re hand puppets, but use your imagination and role with it for cripes sake.

The overall tone and colour of the under ground segments show the movie in its best light, now let’s not get too excited, we are not talking Mario Bava here, but clearly the Roger Corman school of lighting, set decoration, and good use of what is naturally at hand, is to be fair, put to good use. Look out for an inferred big spider creature effect as the scientists daughter is ensnared within a web, only to be teasingly pawed by an off screen beastie shyly reaching out to our maiden in distress with a briefly seen wobbly hairy leg with a clawed foot !, The Giant Claw (1957) should be considered an Oscar winning feature on the back of this display !.

Robot Holocaust, likely to cash in on its piggy back European veneer, even carries the title of, I Robot Conquistano Il Mondo, cleverly slipping out onto Eighties VHS no doubt to return a modest sum very much in line with the Italian faux film Xeroxed clones of the time. Due accolade to the film makers on that score, exporting American garbage cleverly packaged back to Italy as if produced in Europe, but overall Robot Holocaust is without doubt a Post ApoCRAPalyptic disaster.

If you truly need to experience then seek it out on the MGM HD channel, as it at least cleans up very nicely, and those underground scenes do look fresh and vibrant in colour and hue with a high definition enhancement. The movie also runs out at sub eighty minutes. Be sure to disengage brain, and imbue yourself with plenty of to hand cold brews if deciding to still pursue the Post Nuke abomination that is Robot Holocaust.

Movie Rating: 3/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source The MGM HD Movie Channel

Robot Holocaust (1986)

Director Tim Kincaid
With Norris Culf, Nadine Hartstein,
J. Buzz Von Ornsteiner, Jennifer Delora,
Andrew Howarth, Angelika Jager,
Michael Downend & Rick Gianasi

Get Infected On ...

2010-11-19T23:01:00.004Z

Dark Island

aka Infected

(2010/Canada)

‘‘If you’re receiving this message, Test Forty Eight did not go as planned’’

Insidious biological government experimentation is taking place on a remote island and all indigenous species are dead. Only a small unit of scientific researchers remains at the testing ground, but when all contact with them is lost another team of specialists is sent in to investigate. What they discover cannot be allowed to leave the island with them !.

Multi corporation Altracorp are developing a safe energy program with radical results via secret testing, outside of the USA governing practices, and well outside of ethical constraints. Development of a biological weapon, intended to aid mankind against the threat of global terrorism, in order to act as a deterrent against war. Just how far do you go though in order to create something so all powerful in order to stop something just as all consuming and devastating as that which it is intended to counteract !?.

Dr. Sophie Miller, a highly regarded toxicologist, joins an Altracorp reconnaissance and rescue team, suitably kitted up and destined for the secluded island. Their mission to determine what has happened to the original scientific team and to re-establish contact with Altracorp to relay back information as to the test results carried out.

The team is made up of three guys and two women, and immediately upon arrival at the beach of the island it is very clear that all is not well !. There is not a sound of any wildlife at all, and at the tree line of the dense tropical jungle is littered with dead birds. The flightless and lifeless organisms are saturated with a bizarre black treacle like substance, oozing from their carcasses.

The plot is standard fare but the Action is maintained throughout proceedings, and there are a few nice moments to keep an audience embroiled in this low budget horror. Fans of top TV show Lost will draw semblance from the foreboding presence of the evil entity that terrorises the human survivors. An all enveloping mass of black cloud like being possesses, eviscerates and re-manifests itself in order to take control of any living host. This tremendous force is a destructive living entity born out of human experimentation and in its unfettered form is free to do what it wants to !.

The team must gather important test data and formulate a counter agent against this malevolent entity in order to harness its force. A makeshift repellent gas gun keeps the aggressive formation at bay but does little against its intuitive ability to manipulate what is around it. There is an Evil Dead (1981) segment where the jungle tree vines attack the retreating Altracorp people, along with several splurges of blood letting to add to proceedings.

It’s up to the doctor to attain a direct sample of the black gloop living organism from a possessed living host in order to reverse engineer the substance and develop an antidote

With an evacuation swat team preparing to storm the island and retrieve whatever they can before destructively pulling the plug on the project time is running out for the few surviving. In the heart of the jungle at the main testing site a battle for supremacy plays out as an Altracorp insider strives to take control of the entity, whilst his rational counterpart fights to directly feed the antitoxin into the heart of the island to bring an end to the abomination.

There’s plenty of edge of the seat Action at closure and still enough time to deliver a reveal to turn events, leaving things up in the air with a suitably sinister twist.

Movie Rating: 6/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source Region 1 NTSC DVD

Dark Island (2010)

Director Sam Gorski & Niko Pueringer
With Jai Koutrae, Zero Kazama, Mary Christina Brown,
Rob O’Brien, Eric Raymond Lim & Rodney Wiseman

The Undead Uprise In ...

2010-11-05T10:17:00.004Z

La Horde

(2009/France)

‘‘Religion is just death insurance’’

Cops, criminals and an army of undying human carnivores square off in a Zombie Armageddon. Another flesh feast from France, and this one thunders along at a cracking bloody pace.

Seasoned cops treading a very fine line between call of duty, and traversing the same path taken by those they seek to bring to justice, seek to take violent revenge when one of their own is killed.

Attending the cemetery during the day to pay respects at the funeral, by night the resolute agents of the law turn vigilantes and seek vengeance upon a gang headed up by a notorious Nigerian villainous savant. The acquired intelligence on their targets leads them to a near derelict super high rise middle class residence. The building is empty apart from a few stubborn residents ignoring notices to quit, and the pocket of drugs and arms dealers headed up by the Nigerian named Adewale.

Storming the high rise for violent reprisal the cops more than meet their match in Adewale and his better organised men. Two are viciously killed and one is badly wounded as the diversity of weaponry at the gangs disposal is brutally displayed.

With the remainder of the cops, including one feisty female officer, at the mercy of the gang suddenly there is a cataclysmic turn of events that occurs outside. The surrounding city is turned into chaos as the night sky is turned into a pulsating pastel of explosions. An epidemic has broken out and is immediately affecting the populace. People are turning on each other and those that are killed within a few minutes return from the dead, imbued with an overpowering strength of adrenalin and a hunger for flesh.

Described by most as a Zombie movie, and in certain quarters criticised for its lack of character development and perceived as being without anyone to cheer for or get behind, it really is deserving of neither attribute. It’s intent is not to atypically compartmentalise but allow for a fallow dichotomy, empathic to a contemporary society. The film is a frenetic Action movie with the fast paced humans infected by an unknown contagion. The unexplained virus also reanimates the recent dead but at no time in the film does it show or imply that the rotting corpses of long deceased people are reviving.

La Horde is at its best enjoyed as a non Zombie film as the super enhanced manic delivery is far more striking and realistic buying into an outbreak of unknown origin. Watching the two diverse groups of gang and cops having to pull together in order to defend themselves against a far greater threat adds heightened believability to proceedings. There is a multitude of close quarter street fights where the anti hero’s have to use their hand to hand combat skills against the unyielding mutants. The results being some of the most intense pummelling witnessed on screen in a long time.

It is, however, incredible that each time a new ‘Zombie’ type take on the genre comes out how hapless the protagonists are in not working out that the only way to stop these monstrous manifestations is to shoot them in the head. It certainly adds to the deliriousness of the wanton deluge of blood and guts spillage as the infected are riddled with bullets in every other part of their bodies, but please, get serious, splatter the grey matter by blasting the damned things in the skull !.

The close proximity setting of floor after floor of corridors in the high rise make for some claustrophobic encounters, and the darkly lit environment more than adds to the effectiveness of this Action horror.

With their combined numbers dwindled down to just a handful the unified group meets up with a quirky old timer, survivor of a great war and a veteran stubborn enough to remain resident in the complex in his solitude from society. This old timer knows how to look after himself, and the groups first encounter with has them witness his ability with a long handled mighty pickaxe, repeatedly dispatched upon the flailing mutant beings with dissecting effectiveness. Looking a little like a more seasoned version of Hannibal Smith from The A Team, this guy definitely loves it when a bloody plan comes together.

With news of the contagious outbreak hitting the city, witnessed upon a weak signalled television set in the old mans apartment, Adawale and his beleaguered cohorts join with the veteran, making use of his apparent skills and knowledge of the complex, in order to exact a passage to the outside and a better chance of survival.

There is always an edge to proceedings with a volatile element of tenuous trust between all, and combined with the all too prevalent threat to them all this brilliantly enhances the realistic flavour of the movie.

Blood, guts, gore, guns, grenades and a joyously unbelievable Mexican stand off as one of the main lead cops squares off against a surging mass of flesh hungry ghouls, within the high rise parking facility, propels La Horde into crowd pleasing rapture.

Throw in a suitably down beat and bleak closure and this stands up there with some of the best implied ‘Zombie’ type films produced. This is without doubt an accomplished ghoulish Grenache of Gallic gruel to revel in.

Movie Rating: 7/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source Pal Region 2 DVD

La Horde (2009)

Directors Yannick Dahan & Benjamin Rocher
With Claude Perron, Jean-Pierre Martins,Eriq Ebouaney,
Aurélien Recoing, Doudou Masta, Jo Prestia,
Antoine Oppenheim, Yves Pignot & Adam Pensawang

Deep'C' Movie Monster Mayhem

2010-10-31T00:47:00.005+01:00

The Rig

(2010/USA)

‘‘It’s here for food, it likes to kill us’’

Deep sea oil rig, old school monster rampage, Roger Corman style ‘B’ movie schlock hits straight to rental and the late night channels with a worth checking out sticker that should tweak your interest.

When a team of oil drillers rupture the oceans bed, a purple gas emits, and something the size of pop prancing Prince is set free. A fleeting glimpse of a fast moving unidentifiable ‘thing’ gives the briefest of chills, spewed out of its icy sea lair, free to feed in a larger pool !.

Topside a bad storm is brewing and in line with company protocol all non essential crew get air lifted off the rig, back to shore until things settle back down to normal. Something altogether else, however, comes onto the rig, up out of the ocean, despite the rampaging storm. The forecast ahead for the remaining crew looks bleak !.

The familiar hard edged features of movie regular William Forsythe heads up the rig. His on screen daughter Carey is one of the essential rig members that stays behind, and along with her fellow crew member, and love interest Dobbs, they with a handful of others must fight off the elements and a far more ferocious cousin of The Creature From The Black Lagoon (1954).

Surreptitiously slipping onto the rig, and furtively fillet of fish slitting through the crew like a Freddy Krueger killing machine amp’d up on Omega 3. It’s all thrills, gills and kills as this three quarter sized humanoid amphibian fish creature sticks to the shadows of the rigs lower level dwellings, revealing itself at the last moment before striking with lethal efficiency. Some pretty gory moments are on display, from bone displaying neck breaking, colourfully spiced up with an arterial spurting of blood sauce, to gut wrenching full on intestinal spillage. This light framed, black skinned, tough scaled sea humanoid is a butchers knife on legs and it knows how to prime cut and flay !.

It’s all hands on deck in order to survive, and the handful of crew left still alive must pull together, grab anything that resembles a weapon, and use their combined wits in order to fight back. With communications to the mainland down due to the storm, they have to somehow get through the bad weather and pray that daylight comes to them before their darkest fear confronts them first !.

The sub mariner species has found itself a new prey and source of nutrition, and the rig is like a human sushi restaurant to it. This human species is however sentient, and armed with steel pipes, harpoon and an old military issue hand gun this is one form of designated food stock that repeats on its potential consumer.

The Rig may not provide anything particularly new in the don’t mess with nature, monster unleashed sea of creature features, but for old style ‘B’ movie fishy Fun its in a school that more than a few will favourably fathom.

Movie Rating: 5/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source Region 1 NTSC DVD

The Rig (2010)

Director Peter Atencio
With William Forsythe, Serah D’Laine,
Scott Martin, Carmen Perez, Dennis LaValle,
Marcus T. Paulk, Dan Benson & Art LaFleur

Luke Goss Vamps It Up In ...

2010-10-09T21:16:00.005+01:00

The Dead Undead

(2010/USA)

‘‘Relax Honey, we’re the good guys’’

Modern day vampires, suckling off a civilised restricted diet of animal blood, become infected with a 21^st century contamination equivalent of mad cows disease. The super fast degenerative affect turns them into Vamped up versions of excommunicated bad boy sprinter Ben Johnson, and Zack Snyder’s take on George A. Romero’s living dead. Amped up, running speed Zombie Vampires with a sadistic involuntary urge to feast on anything that lives, including their alter Vampire brethren. They become referred to as ZV’S … Zombie Vampires !.

Former pop boy band singer Luke Goss heads up an elite group of counter ZV commandos to stem the contamination, and contain the Zombie Vampire outbreak in a rural area, in order to stop the infestation of psycho blood suckers reaching the mass populated cities of America and beyond !.

Goss plays Jack, a seasoned vet trained in the art of weapons and warfare, one of the very best at what he does. He should be though, as he has had centuries to hone his skills. Jack is himself a Vampire !. One of the pioneers of living the new way, integrating with regular human society, and through the decades giving others the opportunity to follow. At the most desperate of times, and most prevalently at the juncture of deaths door, upon the field of battle, he appears to offer life … after death !. Those with a valiant code of honour rise once more to stand at Jack’s side, and continue the good battle against the evils of the new world.

The movie begins pretty much throwing its cast, and viewing audience, right into the thick end of a war of Vampires vs. Vampires. Five early twenty something friends, made up of three girls and two guys, are beginning their vacation, and on route hit car trouble on the back road of sparse-ville USA. With night time closing in on them they seek refuge in a seemingly deserted motel. As darkness envelopes outside the five friends soon realise that they are not alone. A room at this remote motel seems to endorse dead and breakfast !.

Creatures of the night befall upon the terrified young folk as they are forced to defend themselves against monstrosities hungering for their flesh and blood. Help arrives in the form of Jack and his small unit of ageless commandos, each honed in fighting skills born out through the passages of time. Nothing speaks the universal language of finality better than the modern dispatchers of ill doers than guns and swords. Jack and his timeless team have plenty of both, and the seasoned ability to deliver lethal strikes from all quarters. Torn from the vaunted valleys of Valhalla are star crossed Viking lovers Aries and Gabrielle, along with a Vietnam war veteran and a vengeance taking six shooter from the Old West. All are part of Jack’s flock of second chance souls, reborn to continue the fight against the dark denizens of the Earth.

The Action spurts forth as regular as the copious amounts of blood letting as the five friends are all but killed. A feisty female survives this night time ordeal, along with another male traveller, separated from his wife during another attack by the miscreants of the night. They hook up with Jack and his band of buccaneers to continue the fight against the pernicious blood suckers, in spite of the revelation of what their saviours truly are themselves !.

It’s good to get embroiled here, as a viewer, with The Dead Undead, and refreshing to get swept up in the silliness of yet another take of the Zombie / Dead lore. You can’t help but raise eyebrows, and develop a grin of delirious dumbfoundedness, at the audaciousness of the writer / director team of Edward Conna and Matthew R. Anderson as they serve up their own take on the tried and tested necessities in despatching the living dead. Here The Dead Undead scripture is clear, destroy the brain completely, sever the spinal cord, or expose to direct sunlight in order to kill.

Anyone carry about an industrial sized microwave to save on the physical stuff !?.

Look out for a never too late very welcome cameo from Vernon Wells as an old school get the job done vampire storm trooper with a swagger. He brings added blood to this ‘vein’ attraction, and his welcomed reunion with Jack leaves the casket open for a fun sequel should The Dead Undead live up to patron expectation.

The plague of the ZV’S becomes a real cause of threat to the territories outside of the localised canyon that the good vampires fight to contain and even Jack needs help. His trusting earlier saved female cohort recognises that he requires a blood boost to invigorate his system, and restore him to his true mantle of a super vampire. The danger of even for a moment turning back to the ways of his violent past is something that she has not had time to fully appreciate, and by his own self imposed restraint Jack would not knowingly resort to !.

Prepare for a fang filled finale as Jack discovers the ZV’S main lair and the legions of the un-dead come for him, and those that still stand by his side. It’s time for the likeably cool hand Luke Goss to call on his Bros one more time, and to belt out a mighty hit that sets the Cat Amongst The Pigeons.

Movie Rating: 6/10

Review Paul Cooke

The Dead Undead (2010)

Director Matthew R. Anderson & Edward Conna
With Luke Goss, Laura Kenley,
Joshua Alba, Matthew R. Anderson, Cameron Goodman,
Lance Frank, Luke LaFontaine,
Brandon Molale, Spice Williams-Crosby,
Vernon Wells & Forrest J. Ackerman

Danny Trejo Is ... Machete

2010-09-26T20:49:00.004+01:00

Machete

(2010/USA)

‘‘God has mercy, I don’t’’

Holy F***king sweet ass snorting nose candy cinema. Sell your sisters chastity and prepare to wet wipe as Robert Rodriguez pump actions out a contemporary Grind House great. A seminal flagellation of film that constantly pops you in the eye, and deep throat chokes you harder than Linda Lovelace poetry. This mighty mutha gargles on its own gag reflex before expunging its wonderful excesses up upon the screen, like a celluloid seraphim dancing its heavenly decadence across your retinas, with stilettos dipped in liquid ephemeral, deftly delivering its corporeal viewing high.

Political correctness hitches the same ride down the can that Robert De Niro deposits his dignity, with a sanguine sphincter suppository that leaves its mark splattered upon the windscreen of the world. Goggle up and gaggle down on this rampant rollercoaster of bad assed goodness, hard rated ‘RR’ for Rodriguez Rules !.

Danny Trejo stars in the lead role he was born to play as the Mexican one man militia, Machete. A former border police officer living day to day on the fringe of society, mixing it with the regular Joe’s, all the while searching out an opportunity to avenge the brutal murder of his wife at the hands of super bad guy kingpin Torrez. This is no ordinary kingpin mind you, its freakin’ Steven Seagal, back on the big screen for the first time in eons and strutting his man mass like a pimp-tastic pro. He’s picked the wrong guy to piss off though in Machete, his name is his calling card and his trade is taking out the human trash.

Machete’s path of destiny crosses with that of Torrez when Jeff Fahey’s bent businessman Booth hires him as a shooter to kill Robert De Niro’s corrupt senator McLaughlin. All is not as straightforward in picking up a $150,000 cash payment as job done for Machete however, and the die is set for one of the most awesome casts ever pulled together in a mainstream ‘B’ movie to tear up the screen like never before.

Everyone literally bleeds for Director Rodriguez as Machete trail blazes a path of wanton violent vengeance, in a ferocious frenzy of delirious bodily dismemberment and outlandishly over the top explosive Action.

Rodriguez amply trades up from his earlier screen successes El Mariachi (1992) Desperado (1995), and imbues the Grind House grunt film style, resurrected in Planet Terror (2007), to expand upon his then faux trailer for Machete, in bringing his creation to life. Audaciously he brings the delectable Miss. Jessica Alba out of her regular comfort zone, into a world where she digs in her heels and struts her fine form as a sexy immigration officer. Blessed with a bodilicious form and those luscious lips she carves out a performance that cuts the cutesy for ballsy, yet still manages to lift more than Machetes spirit when called upon.

The babe juice free flows from the fountain of this Grind House goodness, and none more so than the man neutering naughty that is Michelle Rodriguez, co-starring as Luz who shines like a beacon of justness for the Mexican people, standing upright as the urban legend, She. Embroiled in the fight against senator McLaughlin and his lackeys, including a finely grizzled embodiment of bigotry from Don Johnson as Lt. Von Jackson, Luz gets to give a fan favoured wink to the dispenser of due justice from They Call Her One Eye (1974). The movie is in no way devoid of dark, wry humour either as a binge drinking, drug taking internet fame seeking daddy’s girl April, is poignantly played by a vapid Lindsay Lohan, who comes to life when she finds faith and fights for the lord in the guise of a gun totting nun. Inspired most likely by another Grind House classic, Angel Of Vengeance (1981).

Fans of the Grind House style and followers of Blaxploitation, Nunsploitation, Filipino flambé and Mexican mishmash movie mayhem rejoice, as the nachos are crisped to perfection, and Robert Rodriguez lavishes upon them a red pepper relish to die for.

Danny Trejo is in supreme form as Machete, and he dishes payback out with a hand held holocaust of brutality that cuts to the quick. Limbs are lopped and heads are severed with regular abandonment to any censorship concerns, and a hell yea thank you Lord, care of a cult cameo by Cheech Marin as a padre with a weapons cadre, in a church where the pews become bathed in the blood of all anti acolytes. Confess to Cheech and you can’t go Chong !.

Machete cuts a scintillating swathe from its blood drenched opening to its Action packed round house battle royal finale. Trejo’s machete versus Seagal’s katana comes to be, and the bodacious babes get to bang down the remaining bad boys in a galvanised gauntlet of ball breaking brutality. It’s a groovy grind to put smiles on faces and bums in seats, as Machete leaves its memorable mark.

A mighty Mexican wave of appreciation to Robert Rodriquez, Danny Trejo and all involved, and here’s hoping that Machete does indeed return in sequel form sometime soon.

Movie Rating: 8/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source Cinema

Machete (2010)

Director Robert Rodriguez
With Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez,
Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Tom Savini,
Lindsay Lohan, Robert De Niro & Steven Seagal

Collectors Item

2010-09-19T22:50:00.004+01:00

The Collector

(2009/USA)

‘‘He collects people !’’

A professional burglar, desperately trying to start a new life for himself, has to trade tricks for a past underground criminal fixer in order to help his estranged wife and daughter. The mother of his sweet young child owes money to a loan shark, and the debt is about to be called in, one way or another. In order to spare them from harm, Arkin must undertake a big paying job to settle his wife’s debt. Working as a repair man at a large family home, he has cased the property, and knows that the owner has a large gemstone of some value locked within his safe.

Arkin’s last day on the job, along with a team of pest control exterminators, is also the day that the family are preparing to be away for a while. With his wife’s debt due to be called in Arkin has until midnight to revert back to his previous profession as a burglar, and purloin the precious gem in order to collect a forty percent cash reward, fencing it to his bullish fixer. A simple plan, simply executed for a highly skilled burglar not long out of the full time criminal game. That night, upon his return to what he believes is an empty house, is one that no one could ever prepare for … no one could … no one but ... The Collector !.

Hostel (2005) in a house is unleashed upon the home owner, his wife, teenage daughter and youngest daughter by a mysterious man. His face hidden behind a tight fitting mask, reminiscent of a Mexican wrestlers, hand tied and taught behind the skull. Whatever machinations are afoot are soon very apparent as Arkin is caught up in a myriad of deadly traps, designed not to keep intruders out, but victims inside !. The masked marauder is oblivious to his unseen nemesis, as he sets about torturing the occupants of the house, clearly stopped from going on their intended trip. What follows is a night of torture and quite gruesome flesh flailing. Not an iota of scene spoiling CGI fake blood is on display here, just free flowing icky ooziness of the el vino variety.
Arkin is caught between helping the family and saving his own life, as escaping from the trap laden home proves to be nigh on impossible. All manner of body puncturing implements lace the very fabric of the house interior, from floor to ceiling. Fine wire intricately threads between a door frame, virtually unnoticeable in the dark environment, upturned nails line the steps upon the hallway stairs, set bear traps adorn the living room floor, razor blades imbed the boarded up windows, as painfully discovered early on by Arkin as he attempts to flee with the valuable item he came for. A clue to this pernicious perpetrators ideology is uncovered in the closet of the master bedroom, where Arkin seeks momentary refuge, as a large hinged box reveals its contents of a bloodied and beaten man. The petrified man is barely conscious or legible, but he warns that the intruder is a collector … of people !?.

Arkin cannot allow the man to be free of his confine for fear of alerting the intruder of his own presence, and so seals him back within the box’s containment. With the cries of pain, and the screams of terror, from the owners of the house ringing out through the connecting cavity vents, Arkin asses his position and looks for a way to help them, and find a way out !. The inventiveness of the intruders cruelty takes no prisoners as the family pet cat discovers to its pitiful demise. An upstairs bedroom floor layered with a caustic glue substance eats away at the hapless creatures fur, burning its way into its skin. The pussy cats ultimate end though comes when Arkin desperately strives to free it from its undoubted death knell, only to propel the startled animal into a window that is booby trapped as a guillotine. Animal welfare activists will doubtlessly re-watch this scene over and over again and seek proof positive that no actual harm came to this poor unfortunate cat, as the degree of realism here is pretty darned startling !.

The torrent of nastiness continues unabated as the teenage daughter returns home with lustful boyfriend, who is soon introduced to the intruder and says hello to his little friends the bear traps !. One minute the boyfriend is fondling his girls ample breasts, and the next he snaffled himself by bone snapping implements even more highly sensitive to touch. This is indeed grisly stuff !.

Arkin is desperate to save at least the young girl of the family, having witnessed the demise of the others, and somehow catch the intruder up within one of his own traps. It’s cat and mouse as the intruder is now fully aware of his unexpected competitor, and the knives are out, literally !.

To pull off a ninety minute violent thriller with the construct of a fairly basic premise with such extraordinary aplomb here is incredible. The pace of the movie never flounders, and the motif behind the masked intruders maniacal onslaught is intriguingly withheld right up to the cataclysmic conclusion. A modern incarnation of a new movie ‘monster’ is perhaps born with The Collector. A nigh on unstoppable force of evil intent, yet certainly not super human, but with an agenda that is tantalisingly linked only by his calling card of a person held within a restraining box.
The Collector is a brutal barrage to the senses, yet invasively hypnotic as its carnage spews out the intent to shock but also to intrigue. You, like Arkin want, nay need, to know who this guy is, and why he is doing what he does. Is he a cold hearted evil psychopath, or an exacting architect of retribution !?. There are questions to be answered come closure, not that the viewer is left deflated in any way at all, indeed there is but anticipation of a continuation to this story, as The Collector closes another of his containment boxes shut upon its occupant !.

Movie Rating: 7/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source Region 1 NTSC DVD

The Collector (2009)
Director Marcus Dunstan
With Josh Stewart, Juan Fernández, Madeline Zima,
Andrea Roth & Robert Wisdom

All a' 'Bored' The Road Train

2010-09-05T16:37:00.010+01:00

Road Kill

aka Road Train

(2010/Australia)

‘‘You didn’t take the truck, the truck took you’’

Road rage possession where any body is an accident waiting to happen, and a spare part in this movie pretty much means just that !.

Four twenty something friends start out on their annual vacation of self discovery together. This time it’s a tense affair as of the two guys, both have slept with the same girl in the group and emotions are bubbling. The new girl in the group is oblivious to the tainted love triangle and just wants to fit in and have a good time. The journey ahead may have thrown them together, but in the end it tears them all apart.

The basic plot is that of man versus machine with an eerie overture as a strongly implied supernatural force embodies the main villain of the piece, a rampaging road rampart of metal, forged as a long distance road truck. Tumultuously terrorising the Australian terrain, in an ongoing forward motion of mass machination against man. Twenty two wheels of grinding terror bearing down upon all that flail before its wanton wake.

Like a condensed take on Duel (1971) this colossus of the highway appears quickly from out of the distance into the rear view mirror of the four companions, surprising them with brutish intent, and ultimately ramming them off the road. Their car careens into the desolate outback, flipping over and violently coming to a crushing conclusion. There is a long moment of stillness, until life emerges from the wreckage and the occupants emerge, mostly dazed and unnerved, but also to the realisation that one of the guys has a broken arm with a protruding bone. Off on the horizon the multi ton vehicle of mass destruction sits, like a preying mantis, waiting for its intended victim to make its next move before making its final strike. With limited supplies of food rations, and water between them, the shaken friends have no other choice but to approach the motor monolith face to face.
Having opened promisingly, albeit with many a formulaic premise, the rest of the movie literally goes off track and confuses its audience as to its intentions. A mess of almost hallucinogenic hokum transpires that has our protagonists battling against each other as they all fall under the hypnotic spell of the road train. Blood and bitching follows before the film makers seemingly remember that they need to explain what all the weirdness is about surrounding the vehicle spawned from hell !?.
The padlocked containers resting atop the mighty wheels of the juggernaut hide a horrendous revelation that explains why the terror truck never grinds to a halt, but just continues to grind right on along !. An engine with an appetite that even regular visits to the gas station cannot appease.
This road train is a ticket to terror with no refund, which for many unsuspecting patrons may prove to be one journey to the rental store too many !. There’s some nice moments of gore and the Australian scenery with its enraptured hot hue is always a bonus, but what is lacking here is a cohesive storyline and distinct lack of any real likeable character to at least cheer for. Road Kill is perhaps one extenuated Australian horror hybrid too many, and better taken outback and re-shot for its own good. When it comes down to it, its the story of a boy, a girl and a truck. Just not the ride you were anticipating.

Movie Rating: 4/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source PAL Region 2 DVD

Road Kill (2010)

Director Dean Francis

With Bob Morley, Sophie Lowe, Georgina Haig,

Xavier Samuel & David Argue

Romano Et Mano Jungle Jousts Gaines

2010-08-22T11:32:00.011+01:00

Jungle Rats

(1987/USA/Philippines)

‘‘Sergeant Pete ‘Killer’ Rayo. His name does exactly what it says ! ’’

South Vietnam 1968. General Corad heads up a reconnaissance transport unit through the jungle border. His presence is felt by the Darth Vader of the Vietcong army, and soon the dark forces are upon him with a rebel yell. Poor old Mike Monty is the set upon General, once again in the wrong place at the wrong time but as ever perfectly cast. Corad and a few of his surviving men are taken captive and soon find themselves hostage to the Vietcong, deep within the man made tunnels in unforgiving territory.
The American military want their General back and immediately put together a crack team of five, all with experience of the terrain and particularly of the network of tunnels. Steely eyed Romano Kristoff is Lieutenant John Smith, who heads up the Tunnel Rat Team, with Jim Gaines as his sergeant at arms Pete ‘Killer’ Rayo. There is friction between the two main men from the outset, which proves to later compromise the mission as Rayo’s battle wearied character loses control over the team objective.
Lieutenant Smith leads his handful of men cautiously into the jungle region to track down General Corad but is soon beset by the Vietcong and some ineptitude from an inexperienced soldier within the ranks. The opposing faction are aware of a rescue mission and they act to move the abducted General to alternate incarceration. Smith and fellow mercenaries readily engage the enemy, as between them both bodies and foliage become peppered like blood splattered seasoning upon the indigenous jungle canvas.

This is low budget, high output mano et mano Action where the good guys cry havoc and unleash a whole heap of whoop ass upon the Vietcong, as they stamp out their intent to bring the General home. It’s by the numbers jungle Action, but the interesting hook here comes in the shape of usually regular good guy Jim Gaines, as his character Pete Rayo is a nasty piece of work with the soul intent of looking out for number one !. Gaines’ portrayal of a soldier descending into narcissistic self destruct is attention grabbing. From the outset he questions Lieutenant Smith’s leadership and soon defies orders, culminating in compromising the teams position. When he beats and rapes a Vietnamese village girl in the care of the team his mental stability is questioned by his fellow soldiers, but it is not until he is directly responsible for the loss of innocent lives that Lieutenant Smith fully realises that he is more of a liable threat than the Vietcong closing in around them. Smith has to square off against Rayo in order to preserve both the mission and his own life, as well as pulling it all together to storm the Vietcong holding place to rescue General Corad.
Good casting and another solid piece of Direction from the relatively fledgling movie making skills of Irvin Johnson make for another enjoyable jungle raid and rescue outing. By this time ‘B’ movie Action genre Directors like Johnson were churning out three or four movies a year and this is one that has the feel of a relatively quick shoot making use of re-used locations and sets, not to mention a reworked thematic script. Nevertheless, anything with the likes of Romano Kristoff, Jim Gaines and Mike Monty in are always plus points in attracting a viewing, and this is no exception. What Jungle Rats loses in originality it makes up for in the Action set pieces that are never too far apart.
Movie Rating: 5/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source Japanese NTSC VHS

Jungle Rats (1987)
Directed by Irvin Johnson
With Rom Kristoff, Jim Gaines,
Jerry Bailey, Michael Welborne,
Richard King & Mike Monty

Human Centipede Hit For Six

2010-08-07T20:07:00.014+01:00

The Human Centipede

(First Sequence)

(2009/Netherlands)

‘‘Feed her, feed her !’’

From the land of tulips and windmills comes the pestle and mortar of grind house gazumping that you do not have to put your mortgage on to seek out. This is one to categorise under the need to not know exists, as otherwise like any true infamous word of mouth and shocking press, once learned of, you cannot help but need to see for yourself. Once drawn into that inevitable trap you will almost certainly come away from the experience of ingesting The Human Centipede: First Sequence with a sense of feeling unclean !.
This is without question a boundary of shocking experimental cinema gone beyond any realm of entertainment. The on screen debauchery and visceral realisation is almost all implied, but even a seasoned gore hound will be left feeling queasy at the subject matter. There is not even a release in the form of unintentional humour to mock such an implausible act of human degradation. Director Tom Six throws a desperately daring dice into the cinematic arena of perversion, and craps out a gastric abomination to alienate all but the carcinogenic harbingers of putrid pleasures. Be only drawn to this as a fly would be, to feed off the end product that should otherwise be flushed out of sight.

The premise of the piece is of a renowned surgical genius in the field of Siamese separation, brought to the brink of his sanity by his self imposed solitude in his remote fortification. Doctor Heiter is a modern day Dr. Frankenstein, experimenting on animals and ultimately upon human beings in his relentless obsession to create a human centipede. An abomination of science, conjoining three people together, connected by surgical procedure to each other by mouth to anus !. It proves to be as offensive and utterly nauseating to behold as it sounds. Crippling natural movement to the hosts by removing knee cartilage and severing tendons to cripple the ability to stand, leaving the afflicted unable to move other than by being effectively on all fours. Three human beings, operated upon against their will at the whim of an insane genius, and paraded about within the confines of his remote boundaries.
Two attractive young women from New York, vacationing in Europe and one very unfortunate Japanese fellow, all just happening upon the mad scientists home off the beaten track in Germany, fall victim to his perversion of science. Reduced to twelve lumbering limbs and mouth to anus conjunction, in one gastric bypass that does indeed at one point deliver the resultant by product of feeding at the head mouth end to later deliver on the resultant digestive dispatch down the line !. If ever there were a viewing moment to throw up in your own mouth, this for sure is it !.

The portrayal of Doctor Heiter could not have been better cast than to actor Dieter Laser, his characterisation of a gifted man borderline insane is right out of the Nazi genocide texts. Calculative calm to the extreme of nastiness personified. Unbearably bold acting that is truly memorable but for the actors future, perhaps ultimately damning with such a film upon his resume !?.
Perhaps then The Human Centipede: First Sequence is today the perceived abomination in the face of human respectability that Todd Browning’s Freaks was back in 1932. When the boundaries between fiction and reality are transfused we become ill at ease as the questions that we do not wish answered are thrust before us, forcing us to question our own moral fibre. It is still here, however, with The Human Centipede: First Sequence highly questionable as to what purposeful plus point may be gained from such a turbulent atrocity, captured upon celluloid and thrust at unsuspecting patrons likely to decorate that directly sitting in front of them with a coat of regurgitated stomach bile. If ever the collectable vomit bag, from the grand old gimmick days of times gone by, were truly a necessary adjunct to the price of admission, then this would be it !.
Unbelievably pre-production has apparently already begun on The Human Centipede II: Full Sequence. To be once again directed by Dutchman Tom Six. After such an abomination as this surely he and his centipede cinema days will be Amsterdamed forever more !?.

Movie Rating: Seek Absolution Before, During & After Viewing

Review Paul Cooke / Source Pal Region 2 DVD

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)
Director Tom Six
With Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams,
Ashlynn Yennie, Akihiro Kitamura,
Andreas Leopold & Peter Blankenstein

Project UFO: The Phillip J. Roth Files

2010-08-05T20:38:00.008+01:00

Shark Hunter

(2001/USA)

‘‘Guys, we’re gonna need a bigger sub’’

Carcharodon Megalodon, everyone’s favourite super monster-shark has come to the hallowed halls of UFO, and of course… it has to make a big impact. For those who don’t know, a MEG is one jumbo shark that is really long extinct.
After all the splash made by Steve Alten, about making a movie of his book MEG, it would seem there are now literally tons of them… somehow I don’t think Alten’s check is in the mail though. This one starts off with a Meg attack that takes our main characters family down and out for lunch, seemingly leaving him alive to suffer… or not ?. That is how he interprets it though, because he drinks and looks kind of haunted. This is, as any shark flick fan can tell you, the Lorraine Gary effect, under the spell of which undersea predators will hold grudges and say, “I told you so” all whilst attempting to eat every living relative of the first victim.
The trauma of his past is not a psyche health enhancing event at all, and now Spencer Northcutt may have found his evil shark. Divers at an underwater research facility seem to have encountered a monster, yes an eating machine… and perhaps it is THAT extinct dino-shark, MEG ! As one character says, “You should know better than to bring Captain Ahab to the bottom of the ocean.”

Yes, Antonio Sabato Jnr. has his eyes set on beating up a 60 foot monster. Dogged and relentless as Tron (1982) with a bad accent, he heads down into the depths with a half baked plan and a mini-sub, and proceeds to go nose to giant nose with the beast. Thankfully, the cannon fodder known as other characters are in abundance, and ready to be eaten.
Well shot and acted, this is great low budget fun. Giving the usual underwater science fiction setting some bite, the script by Phillip J. Roth and Sam Welles, is peppered with decent dialogue, and a mean streak that has many of the crew biting down and saying AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH more often than not. The Meg gets in the ship (at least his snout and eyes do), the Meg smashes the research facility… it bites, it slices, it dices, and makes guppy snacks out of everybody it can find.
While CGI sharks aren’t new, the work done for Shark Hunter is particularly impressive, as are the submarines. As is the case with many UFO productions, not only does the shark become CGI, but so does much of the flicks environment. Sharks versus Torpedoes, Antonio Sabato Jnr. looking grim, a blonde with attitude, and all set to a good Tony Riparetti action music score. Bliss.
If nothing else, you’ll certainly get a kick out of this Meg’s final solution. Yow… only in the low budget movies can you have this kind of ending !

Movie Rating: FUN

Review David Zuzelo / Source Region 1 NTSC DVD

Shark Hunter(2001/USA)

Director Matt Codd

With Antonio Sabato Jnr, Christian Toulali,

Grand L. Bush, Heather M. Marsden & Velizar Binev

Project UFO: The Phillip J. Roth Files

2010-07-31T20:57:00.008+01:00

Antibody

(2002/USA)

''It's like being front row at a Dead concert''

Miniature mayhem aboard a craft smaller than the size of a pinhead. Not the Hellraiser (1987) variety but more like Lost In Space with Robin Givens doing a fine impersonation of Robot, and Lance Henriksen looking like Dr. Zachary Smith. Danger, danger ahead as ex F.B.I agent Dr. Richard Gaynes, as played by Henriksen, undertakes a fantastical voyage into the bloodstream of a terrorist. Next stop Raquel Welch’s brazier, to get to see the bigger picture. Yes indeed there are more than passing updated similarities between Antibody, and the Richard Fleischer Directed 1966 classic Fantastic Voyage.

Star Henriksen is a bomb disposal expert who is called upon to help save the day from a terrorist who has a coded detonator chip hidden within his own body, primed to cause a world threatening bomb to go off should he die. The only way to stop the threat is to undertake the exploratory journey into the unknown aboard the Helix, shrunk down to nano technology size and syringed into the terrorists blood stream.

This is no wild adventure ride at Disney Land but the concept is just as Goofy. With what appears to be a smaller than usual budget for a U.F.O production, the credibility stakes really do take a back seat upon this journey into the incredible. Robin Givens truly looks like she might have been better off going ten rounds with Mike Tyson, with the audience most likely stooling the corner for the special effects. Computer generated imagery is top notch and the saving grace for the movies basic entertainment value. The Helix craft is one of those must have collectables if ever it became available, and the appearance of the mighty skin tick creature at the movies climax is definitely worth scratching around for until the finale.

A minimalist starring roster includes Dr. Gaynes security agency buddy Otto, William Zabka, the bad boy bully from the original The Karate Kid (1984) movie , who pretty much gets to just hang around wishing he could get to wax on and wax off the Helix that he secretly must wish he had gotten to ride upon.

The clock ticks down in true last second to save the world fashion with Henriksen and crew fighting off white blood cells, and a bad case of reject furniture from the original series Star Trek. That’s acting Lance, but not as we know it !. Funny moments come with an elevator that is clearly not built to carry a stretcher, and has to be shot from different angles, along with a medical table that wobbles as much as its occupant who is critically wounded, and clearly not meant to be moved !. Unintentional giggles aside Antibody is silly Sci Fi Channel escapism that allows ninety minutes to slip by without offending anyone, other than perhaps those with a terminal case of bad movie-itous.

Movie Rating: 5/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source Region 1 NTSC DVD

Antibody (2002)

Director Christian McIntire

With Lance Henriksen, Robin Givens, William Zabka,

Gaston Pauls, Teodora Ivanova & Stella Ivanova

RamBoll Rampages On

2010-07-16T19:50:00.013+01:00

Rampage
(2009/Canada/Germany)

‘‘We live in a society that dictates must have, not need’’

In an fairly innocuous little pocket of one small town a very big statement is about to be unleashed, and the world will pay attention to the shackled little man as Bill Williamson sets about his devastating Rampage !.
An angst ridden youth desensitised of the mundane trappings of daily routine, that brands us all in one way or another to unilateral conformity, unburdens his pent up frustrations in one violent day of absolute carnage upon his local community.
Twenty three year old Bill Williamson (Brendan Fletcher) still lives at home with his parents and is stuck in a dead end job at minimum wage, that neither affords him the freedom to live his own life nor enable him to further educate himself to escape the drudgery of small town suburbia. He loathes everything about the avarice of an apathetic society, fuelled by a furnace of ever depressing news and media ridden headlines of recession for the masses, yet more gluttony to those that feed off the same unfortunates who set them upon high.

Just like the flipped out Mr. Joe average, Michael Douglas in Joel Schumacher’s Falling Down (1993), the scene of snapping occurs in a fast food restaurant. Douglas’ character flipped in a faux burger bar clearly aping McDonalds and here in Rampage Brendan Fletcher’s protagonist clearly overdoses on the secret ingredients of the local equivalent chicken joint. It seems that the finger licking goodness can leave a ‘fowl’ taste and turn one of societies battery fed chickens into a feisty cock of the walk. Fed up of being hen pecked and primed to strut the sidewalks of small town suburbia, decked out in Teflon and armed to the teeth with weapons, like a freaked out version of Elmer Fudd during rabbit season. This sure aint no regular Looney Tune on a Rampage though, as Bill Williamson acts with purposeful intent, his day of requital against the system begins and ends in calculated brevity !.

Director Uwe Boll is on a roll with this style of insular characterisation, fuelled by the oppressive state that we inhabit, wound up and let loose upon the injustices of humanity. A dark laden cinder box, thrown a lit match and allowed to ignite with all the inglorious ramifications of a pent up people thrown upon the scrap heap of a cruel world. Just like Tunnel Rats (2008) and Seed (2007) preceding this, Director Boll shows he has a real ability to deliver a solid movie. Unforgiving in realism and unapologetic in peeling back the skimpy veneer of politically correct propaganda. Revealing a dark reality most are too oblivious to accept or too blind to care about whilst their daily regime of government dictated demographics applies. Conformity is the concessionary sheep that never recognises the wolf never far from the door, until it comes calling one day, and suddenly the flock you believed you were a part of is really just a designer label waiting to drape your carcass upon the ever growing mountain of forgotten fools to feed its insatiable appetite.

Rampage then is an almost documentary styled low budget movie that dares to send a statement of intent to those that will watch and listen to its indelible message. As a young angry man one morning, just after breakfast, calmly sees his mother and father off to work, then sets about his day of hard labour. A day of unabated slaughter, without prejudice, as all who stray into his path are met with a barrage of bullets or the cold blade of a knife.

The sight of a composed, yet focused killer, decked out in a home made mail order body parts protection kit, assembled by this angry young man with a real flair for mechanics, is what sets the movie up on its attention seeking radar. Bill Williamson turns from the innocuous guy next door into a pocket battle wagon of lightweight armour plated, Teflon treated tenacity, in his Kevlar full body suit and head gear that makes for one angry looking storm trooper on a mission of intent !.
Striding through the main street of his small town shopping precinct he unleashes his frustration and anger upon all before him in calculated cold blood. You feel his torment and embrace his turmoil, as many of his victims portray their true vanities and evident shortcomings deserving of a wake up call. This is however the extreme take on one person going too far to make a point, but when those that we entrust to keep order and imbue hope and equality fail to do as they are empowered by the people, for the people, when is enough really enough !?.

A damning indictment on society the world over, this is a poignant slice of pulp picture making that will barely make a ripple upon the cinema scene, but do not at all expect its message to simply blip beneath the ocean of film it swims with, for if it does we may all be lost. Rampage is a powder keg of insightful controversy that entertains at an adults only level but sends a message that perhaps only the youth of today can comprehend, and ultimately do something about.

Producer, writer, Director Boll is currently on his own exciting Rampage, and with this latest competent piece of film making he is the unstoppable Ro‘Boll’Cop.

Movie Rating: 6/10

Review Paul Cooke / Source PAL Region 2 DVD

Rampage (2009)

Director Uwe Boll

With Brendan Fletcher, Shaun Sipos,

Michael Paré, Matt Frewer,

Lynda Boyd & Robert Clarke